8/15/14
Today I, Zechariah and Nathan went to my old house. I didn't know what to expect but I was able to walk in my old house and see some things were still the same. The carpet on the basement stairs and some wall covering, I also noticed a hanging lamp in the living room that was the same.I'm not sure what I felt when I saw the kitchen but I know most of the memories I had there.
Zechariah has a blog that he usually bases songs of his blogs to. The song by Miranda Lambert that keeps running in my mind is "the house that built me. Some of the lyrics are as follows "I thought if I could touch this place or feel it the brokenness inside me might start healing. If I could walk around I swear I'll leave won't take nothing but a memory from the house that built me." Being in my old house was surreal for me.
Seeing the new kitchen helped me to see the new life even this house now holds. A mom lives there with her daughter that uses a wheelchair to get around. The same home I struggled in so much to find who I was is now helping a family live more comfortably.
Zechariah and I prayed in the old yard. In that moment all my childhood dreams of some day really being loved by someone came true. I was in my husbands arms and our baby boy was with us! What a beautiful story that we now live!
Being with my family today was something I never expected but I couldn't ask for anything better!! I am now a new creation in Christ! God has given me a beautiful family and life to live and most importantly a new identity! I can thankfully say I am able to move forward with the life God has for me and my family!!
Don't get me wrong life is still a struggle for me and it always will be on this side but with God on my side and my family I can handle anything!!
Maybe your story is like mine maybe it's not but whatever you're experiencing now in your life God has a beautiful story in the making for you and those he will put in your path! Someday maybe you'll be able to take nothing but a memory from the house that built you!
Love you
Tina Martina Putney
Monday, August 18, 2014
Friday, August 8, 2014
Hidden strength and new discoveries
Ok so first I have to say that I am amazed myself at how I get through this delivery. It was the hardest pain I ever experienced in my life! I'm not sure I'll ever really sign up for that again so to speak. However I knew what I was doing was best for my baby boy! So I wanted to share all the crazy things I learned throughout this experience.
We got to HCMC on Friday August 1 2014 at 8 pm to start the induction process. Things weren't quite ready so we got to chill for a while before they inserted cervidal. Basically looks like a really long tampon. Sorry for tmi but it kinda helps paint the picture. This lasted for twelve hours then I went to cytotec. Cytotec was effective it gave me contractions within a half an hour! After cytotec they put in a cooks catheter this had to sit for another twelve hours then back to cytotec and lastly pitocin. You can imagine why I was still in the hospital 3 days in still not in active labor and how that felt.
Zechariah and my mom- in- law were by my side the whole time through it! Willing to sleep on somewhat uncomfortable chairs that folded out into beds they patiently waited through the progress. At first things were moving slowly then it picked up with the second dose of cytotec and lastly pitocin threw it all into play. Pictures are on the bottom to help paint the picture a little more.
Like I said I'm still amazed at how I got through this delivery because I had the most amazing people with me through the whole thing holding me and keeping me going. Earlier in my pregnancy I was told that I had to deliver with a c-section birth due to my placenta being to low. During this process I started considering just getting it over with by a c-section but I'm really glad I didn't. Why would I feel that is better then all natural birth and no pain medication because of what I learned about myself and others.
When you're pushed to the limit you find what you're made of. So 4 days of intense "ripening" and not even in active labor. Then all of a sudden boom like a snap of your fingers my cervix dialates to 7cm then ten! I started pushing at 10:49am. I can't really put into words what my dula was able to do for me to relax through the hardest part of this journey but I know she was a gift from God just letting me know he was watching over me. My dula became my most important counselor during delivery! She would say things to me that as I was pushing would bring a smile to my face! My dula also told me that all she did was show me the strength I already have.
What I learned was I have hidden strength in me that I never tapped into before. Not in a million years would have I imagined that I could and would give birth to a nine pound baby! To handle 4 days of ripening and then labor itself is still shocking to me. Zechariah keeps saying I put my game face on. In a sense I guess that's just what I did. I knew I had a job to do and I was going to complete it! I did end up having to get a blood transfusion because I lost alot of blood but bounced back from that pretty quickly also! I'm still healing and recovering but can certainly feel like myself again! You can all definitely keep praying for a speedy recovery for me as I enjoy this beautiful adventure of motherhood!
Something else I learned that i feel is even more important then the first is that I could trust people with my well-being. once I got to HCMC I knew I was in the hands of the staff and God. I knew that they were the experts I was not so arguing with anything they said seemed pointless to me because they know delivery I don't. I had to trust people to hold me up when I was contracting so bad that I couldn't walk anymore. I had to trust all the procedures to be doing thier job. I had to trust the judgement of my team. This doesn't really come easy for me, trust. It's a really big desire of my life but to actually open myself up to that is easier said then done. I now know that I have an amazing team of people in my life that i can place my trust in.
My husband did all he could to support me and walk with me through the pain. God will always be praised by me because of how he brought this man and I together! God knew what he was doing when he had me meet Zechariah. We really do work as a team. To be able to just fall into my husband's arms was priceless. My mom-in law became my rock also! After a while I couldn't really communicate or think about anything but the pain! I love my in-laws dearly! We have shared such experiences that causes us to just bond. Jessica my dula was just plain out amazing! If I would get a bad contraction she'd just let me go limp in her arms. There's not many people in my life that have let me do that! My spiritual dad David Brooks was another amazing support! He kept telling that I had strength in me that I couldn't see. He came to the hospital pretty much every night! He was of course the first person I called to come see Nathan! When we wasn't with me in the hospital he would call and leave messages! Thank my Heavenly Father for people such as these!! We had other amazing visitors as well! The people mentioned above deserve my gratitude and appreciation.
We had a great nurse Muna who's picture is also below. She was always so sweet and gentle I really liked her alot! She seemed to just smile and encourage me! I found out more about her life. She would stop in to see the baby and see how much progress I was making. She stayed with me for a while during the blood transfusion. on discharge day she also came to spend time with Zechariah and I. It was so nice to have such a wonderful medical team on our side!
This experience has taught so much about community! I realize now more then ever how crucial it is to to have a great group of people in your life that you can literally fall into their arms. I couldn't be happier with my experience and the greatest part was yet to come!
Out came the most precious gift God could ever have given me! My baby boy a whole nine pounds of pure miracle!! I will never forget the first moment when he had his eyes open and I was telling him I was his mommy and what his name was! To relive that moment all over again almost seems to much like a fantasy. Seeing those gorgeous eyes look up at me I knew I did everything right! The journey of life is all about learning everything there is learn but now in my mind it's doing it together!
I'm going to need a whole lot of help as I start on this amazing journey to motherhood. Prayers are essential but more guidance love and support is what I'm suggesting. Keep on praying for our new addition that he grows strong in the way he should go. We love him so much already and just want the very best for him!! Thank you for joining us on this journey!
I can't thank the HCMC team enough for all their hard work and effort to help me through this delivery! I knew I was in good hands but I never felt more sure of that until discharge day! You are all so amazing and thank you for what you do!! Woman all around the world are able to have a natural birth the way of their choice because of the work you do! I was so blessed to be a part of this reality! My sincere appreciation and support are with you as you continue the work you do!! Because of how inspired my mom-in-law was with Jessica our dula she has decided that's a career path she would like to pursue! Blessings to you and all your families as you bring together so many others!!
That's it in a nutshell... I keep reflecting on this experience now and again and am still amazed it actually happened. Looking at my sweet baby boy are the most precious moments of my life! His beautiful eyes tell me everything I need to know! Thank you to everyone who has helped along the way so far and in advance for the no doubt great amount of help we will receive in the future. We love you we're praying for you and enjoy being in community together!
Love
Tina Martina Putney
We got to HCMC on Friday August 1 2014 at 8 pm to start the induction process. Things weren't quite ready so we got to chill for a while before they inserted cervidal. Basically looks like a really long tampon. Sorry for tmi but it kinda helps paint the picture. This lasted for twelve hours then I went to cytotec. Cytotec was effective it gave me contractions within a half an hour! After cytotec they put in a cooks catheter this had to sit for another twelve hours then back to cytotec and lastly pitocin. You can imagine why I was still in the hospital 3 days in still not in active labor and how that felt.
Zechariah and my mom- in- law were by my side the whole time through it! Willing to sleep on somewhat uncomfortable chairs that folded out into beds they patiently waited through the progress. At first things were moving slowly then it picked up with the second dose of cytotec and lastly pitocin threw it all into play. Pictures are on the bottom to help paint the picture a little more.
Like I said I'm still amazed at how I got through this delivery because I had the most amazing people with me through the whole thing holding me and keeping me going. Earlier in my pregnancy I was told that I had to deliver with a c-section birth due to my placenta being to low. During this process I started considering just getting it over with by a c-section but I'm really glad I didn't. Why would I feel that is better then all natural birth and no pain medication because of what I learned about myself and others.
When you're pushed to the limit you find what you're made of. So 4 days of intense "ripening" and not even in active labor. Then all of a sudden boom like a snap of your fingers my cervix dialates to 7cm then ten! I started pushing at 10:49am. I can't really put into words what my dula was able to do for me to relax through the hardest part of this journey but I know she was a gift from God just letting me know he was watching over me. My dula became my most important counselor during delivery! She would say things to me that as I was pushing would bring a smile to my face! My dula also told me that all she did was show me the strength I already have.
What I learned was I have hidden strength in me that I never tapped into before. Not in a million years would have I imagined that I could and would give birth to a nine pound baby! To handle 4 days of ripening and then labor itself is still shocking to me. Zechariah keeps saying I put my game face on. In a sense I guess that's just what I did. I knew I had a job to do and I was going to complete it! I did end up having to get a blood transfusion because I lost alot of blood but bounced back from that pretty quickly also! I'm still healing and recovering but can certainly feel like myself again! You can all definitely keep praying for a speedy recovery for me as I enjoy this beautiful adventure of motherhood!
Something else I learned that i feel is even more important then the first is that I could trust people with my well-being. once I got to HCMC I knew I was in the hands of the staff and God. I knew that they were the experts I was not so arguing with anything they said seemed pointless to me because they know delivery I don't. I had to trust people to hold me up when I was contracting so bad that I couldn't walk anymore. I had to trust all the procedures to be doing thier job. I had to trust the judgement of my team. This doesn't really come easy for me, trust. It's a really big desire of my life but to actually open myself up to that is easier said then done. I now know that I have an amazing team of people in my life that i can place my trust in.
My husband did all he could to support me and walk with me through the pain. God will always be praised by me because of how he brought this man and I together! God knew what he was doing when he had me meet Zechariah. We really do work as a team. To be able to just fall into my husband's arms was priceless. My mom-in law became my rock also! After a while I couldn't really communicate or think about anything but the pain! I love my in-laws dearly! We have shared such experiences that causes us to just bond. Jessica my dula was just plain out amazing! If I would get a bad contraction she'd just let me go limp in her arms. There's not many people in my life that have let me do that! My spiritual dad David Brooks was another amazing support! He kept telling that I had strength in me that I couldn't see. He came to the hospital pretty much every night! He was of course the first person I called to come see Nathan! When we wasn't with me in the hospital he would call and leave messages! Thank my Heavenly Father for people such as these!! We had other amazing visitors as well! The people mentioned above deserve my gratitude and appreciation.
We had a great nurse Muna who's picture is also below. She was always so sweet and gentle I really liked her alot! She seemed to just smile and encourage me! I found out more about her life. She would stop in to see the baby and see how much progress I was making. She stayed with me for a while during the blood transfusion. on discharge day she also came to spend time with Zechariah and I. It was so nice to have such a wonderful medical team on our side!
This experience has taught so much about community! I realize now more then ever how crucial it is to to have a great group of people in your life that you can literally fall into their arms. I couldn't be happier with my experience and the greatest part was yet to come!
Out came the most precious gift God could ever have given me! My baby boy a whole nine pounds of pure miracle!! I will never forget the first moment when he had his eyes open and I was telling him I was his mommy and what his name was! To relive that moment all over again almost seems to much like a fantasy. Seeing those gorgeous eyes look up at me I knew I did everything right! The journey of life is all about learning everything there is learn but now in my mind it's doing it together!
I'm going to need a whole lot of help as I start on this amazing journey to motherhood. Prayers are essential but more guidance love and support is what I'm suggesting. Keep on praying for our new addition that he grows strong in the way he should go. We love him so much already and just want the very best for him!! Thank you for joining us on this journey!
I can't thank the HCMC team enough for all their hard work and effort to help me through this delivery! I knew I was in good hands but I never felt more sure of that until discharge day! You are all so amazing and thank you for what you do!! Woman all around the world are able to have a natural birth the way of their choice because of the work you do! I was so blessed to be a part of this reality! My sincere appreciation and support are with you as you continue the work you do!! Because of how inspired my mom-in-law was with Jessica our dula she has decided that's a career path she would like to pursue! Blessings to you and all your families as you bring together so many others!!
That's it in a nutshell... I keep reflecting on this experience now and again and am still amazed it actually happened. Looking at my sweet baby boy are the most precious moments of my life! His beautiful eyes tell me everything I need to know! Thank you to everyone who has helped along the way so far and in advance for the no doubt great amount of help we will receive in the future. We love you we're praying for you and enjoy being in community together!
Love
Tina Martina Putney
