So our little family has expanded recently and being a mother of two is quite the challenge! At any moment either of my boys are sharing how unhappy they are about something in very loud ways! Having a newborn again is medicating to my heart! I love all the baby snuggles and times I'm able to help little Joshua through hiccups, sing him to sleep, rock him, see his beautiful eyes look up at me! There's nothing like seeing a new life right before your eyes! Often times I just catch myself thinking I'm so happy for a second chance at being a boy mom.
So this book I am reading is the Gospel Centered Mom. What does it mean to be Gospel centered? I can't give you the theological definition but what I feel for myself is that it means living as if the gospel really means something to you. If Jesus died for all of my sins and He Did, then how do I live and love like I believe it. No better area to test this out then in motherhood. Can I get an Amen? https://amzn.to/3gEO8ky
When I said I took mommy time I meant I took "Connecting to the Vine time" really. Over my faith walk I feel like God has dropped "downloads" to my spirit. These are the still small voice moments that are far and few between moments in motherhood. Tonight I had to give a time out rather then stew about how angry I was that "it happened again!" I opened up the book and actually for the first time in a while grabbed my bible and read from scripture instead of my phone! I feel like I heard God say do this every time you can and as often as you need meaning in those "I need you Jesus moments" that He will be there. That's what Moses learned as God was sending him to free the Israelite people out of Egypt. In a sense that's what I am learning now.
Doesn't the world kind of seem a little like Egypt? You can't walk down the street or on social media to far and not see some of the enemy at work. I feel like this has been a daily reality in motherhood. Some days are great no tantrums, no hard feedings, everyone seems to be getting along, we are making great memories. The next day it feels like a war zone. Actually this is really not all that different then everyday in my mind with diagnosed PTSD (another blog post maybe...) you know the days I am talking about, before you really are awake you're dealing with a tantrum, baby starts to cry, stress seems to be high, it's almost as if the air is just not there to breathe.
Being able to take a step back has been really helpful to me and tonight I feel like I finally said "Hey God I don't have this, but I know who you are, and who you've been in my life, so I'm coming your way." It wasn't super long but extremely refreshing to sit in the loving arms of Jesus if even just for a moment. This "download" is one I know I was supposed to have received so long ago and I am now in the place emotionally where I can receive it. I want to utilize this method every time and as often as I need. I know that I will never be enough and Jesus always is.
Listen for a second parents out there! We so desperately need Jesus and He waits ever so patiently for us to finally see that. I could have been super angry tonight instead I sensed a nudge to try a different approach. What a beautiful gift it is to have a constant companion, in our darkest moments, is always there. It's easy to miss that and I am really going to be intentional to not miss it. I hope you will too! Don't miss out on your ever present help in Jesus. No burden is to small or big for Him to carry. He loves no matter what, and He delights when we come to him for anything we need!
Praying that you are taking some "Connecting to the Vine time" also!
I love you with all my Heart
Tina Martina Putney
Gospel Centered Mom by Brooke McGlothlin https://amzn.to/3gEO8ky