Ever feel like every day is the same? Get up try and use the bathroom before little mouths wake up hungry, immediately get breakfast on the table, try to spend some time with God, throw on a movie or show that has already been asked for like the 400th time, just as you are about to eat yourself your adorable 5 month old wakes up so that's out because he needs to nurse. Your older son is watching T.V. your youngest is nursing and just to have some "you" time you are on your phone checking facebook. It's not even 9 in the morning. Many mornings go by with this same routine it can get boring at times.
Today however I got a beautiful "download" from God about how to see the mundane days of being a stay at home mom. Turn with me to John 6. The story of Jesus feeding the five thousand struck me in a fresh way this morning. No one could have predicted what miracle was about to take place from such an ordinary lunch. I'm sure a lot of people could read over this story and not feel the impact of it but let me share what I just learned! Somewhere in Judah a mama packed this boys lunch!
Somewhere in Judah a mama was packing this boys lunch most likely the same day in day out with nothing significant to show for it. She was doing what God had called her to do! She was being the role he asked her to be. She was putting food on the table, doing laundry, washing dishes, but she was about to have a profound awakening. She has been teaching her son important lessons how to be kind, how to offer what you have even if it is a bagged lunch, she has been teaching her son about Jesus and on this ordinary day she would hear the most extraordinary story!! This mama and her efforts to lead her son were going to all pay off!!
The scene is set the boy hands the disciples his lunch 5 loaves of bread two fish and Jesus then takes this boy's lunch and blesses it gives thanks to God and now everyone is wondering what happens next!! The miracle of all miracles!! He feeds five thousand people that day!!! Can you imagine the look of sheer amazement that came over this little boys face? If his mama was there I'm sure tears were welling up in her eyes thinking something like he sees and hears me and because he hears and sees he responds!
This ordinary lunch became a supernatural sign from Jesus to potentially the mama who desperately needs to see Jesus working. Are you there too? Are you that mama that feels like everyday you are obedient to the call in your life and it just feels so mundane? Mama if you are doing everything you do for the glory of Jesus be blessed because your reward is coming!!! It may not be feeding five thousand people but maybe in the silent prayers you never dare share to another soul. Jesus hears and sees you! Be encouraged mama!! He may keep you a stay at home mom or he may call you to be an even greater influence outside of the home.
This week God gave me back my job where I was working with brides, wedding parties, parents and people that are just looking to add beauty to their home! Never would I have planned to be going back to work outside of the home at least not now! But when God answers prayers he does so in large and small ways!! Instead of just having my influence be at home he is having me make an influence outside of the home also! This is why this made me tear up this morning. I am in that season where things seem the same everyday and then God hands me my job back!! You could say I felt like that boy with the lunch in this example and now feeling like the mama who is thinking he hears and sees me.
I get it mama, I get the feelings of being made to do the same things over and over with no immediate result or change. Then I see a story like this and get a download from God that is so good I can't help but smile! He really does love me! He loves you too! You are making an impact inside your home an impact that will be so profound in due time! Somedays He calls us to do this full-time sometimes He calls us to make a bigger impact outside of the home! Whatever the call do it with your whole heart! I promise you will see a blessing so great or maybe even more then one, as has been our experience!!
God's favor is so good so rich that we have nothing else to do but praise and live our lives with true obedience to what God desires.
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Saturday, October 28, 2017
Monday, October 23, 2017
I'm coming your way
Ever lived with something you always felt shame over?? That's me ever since two years ago... I had a really big hurdle in my mothering to overcome. Untreated trauma flared up like nothing I could imagine! What many do not know is the second I held my son Nathan in my arms for the first time I audibly heard God say to me "You're going to have to fight to be mama," Wow! talk about uh oh what are you going to have me do moment?
I honestly can not talk about this season of our lives without feeling immense shame and grief. Most likely why I try not to address it to much with others. I'm writing today because I have decided I am kind of done with living in shame! I'm re reading Gospel Centered Mom by Brooke McGlothlin and I am finding freedom in knowing that as a mom who loves her boys more than life itself I am not supposed to get everything right. Jesus made me live this story because I am to NEVER get to a point where I don't need him. So as I reflect on our family story I want to ask you to help me see my story as not a failure but a victory! Invite me to fail but also see how far we have all come! Our life is a miracle, our family life is a miracle!
Two years ago I threatened divorce. I want to relieve any fear of me actually going through with it! I love my hubby! I know that God has us side by side that settles it! I love our family. If you saw how frustrating and heartbreaking home life was like in 2015 though I believe you would understand my want to leave. Like the hubby in Fireproof I just wanted peace and life looked like anything but two years ago! I am amazed at the faithfulness of God to prompt my hubby to choose to fight for our marriage! It is this fight that drives me to stay planted right where I am. Even on the days where I wake up with a bad attitude about something I'm seeing I always go back to two years ago and shudder at the thought.
Often I think about and see my life before my hubby a desolate wasteland. I had good points sure. But my heart was just trampled over and I couldn't tell you I was truly happy until God took everything away from me! My home, my ex, my dad, my job and I literally had nothing left! He stripped all of that away and I didn't understand at the time but now I see it was because he was about to reteach me how to do life! I had no idea that asking for help was ok and just the way God would have me live! When I couldn't look forward I had nowhere to look but up! This has been very much the course of my life.
It wasn't until Zechariah that I realized God was going to have me face the trauma I lived through once and for all. During our engagement we had all out wars over this! Almost broke up before the wedding because of this. See he even wanted to leave ;) Thankfully our Daddy knew exactly where we needed to be that weekend because the best guys in the world stood by our side the whole time and we were hugging and laughing by the end of the weekend! Beautiful isn't it? God really is the master storyteller!! But he was not done with us yet!
Now two years ago still wearing my wedding ring, Nathan sleeping in his room, watching my sweet little angel sleeping (I know not fair! Everyone is sleeping but me!) I couldn't be happier for our story! It has brought me such determination (almost as much as childbirth itself) community, stronger family dynamics, communication about my feelings and triggers that has become so freeing! Not often will I say that I am thankful for our hard season of our lives but for these blessed changes I do have to say I am thankful for it. It made our marriage Fireproof and my mothering change in ways I can never describe! Just watch me with little Joshy you will know what I mean! And that leads me to our little man!
Jesus calls him his sweet little angel because he is the redemption in our story! When I look at that boy I feel my heart melt! Don't get me wrong I love Nathan as much but I think you can understand why my view with Nathan might not be as loving at times. It's a triggering relationship. One I will never give up or stop working on. I'm sure any mom reading this would agree! But little Joshy is the perfection of our family! He's a cuddlebug, he is the happiest baby I know even through teething, he has this intense stare, he focuses and you get to see what he focuses on! In my lullaby I wrote for the boys I wrote that he makes me feel less alone! It's as if he was brought to my life to help me feel God's love! I know children are a blessing but this little one is such a beautiful gift! The funny thing is I was 90% sure we were going to have a girl! So sure I wore a pink sweater to the ultrasound! Seeing my sweet little angel sleeping so peacefully in his cradle though I tear up and smile that I wouldn't want it any other way!!
How about you? What are you living with? What are you hiding from? I promise you the process is not easy, you will want to give up, you will have days where you just need rest but if you will commit to the work of healing you will give yourself and your family the greatest gift! I knew that we were going to go through the hardest season of our lives! I didn't know all the details I didn't know the timeline I just knew I was going to have to fight! Looking back I can honestly say I wouldn't have wanted to do anything differently once our hard season hit. I will never wish what we went through on any other family but let us be the example and hope that Reunification is possible!
If you are a mom who struggles I'm right there with you! I still have hard days where frustration is high and patience is short but repair is essential. I do not want Nathan or Joshy to walk away from our interaction feeling unloved, not cared for, or not valued. May I encourage you to do the same!
If you are a dad reading this and you think it's to late please stop believing that lie!! Kiddos will always want their parents!! It's how God created them!! We are their biggest fans and they are ours! Repent if need be, forgive and move on towards the relationship you desire for you and your child! Please whatever you do do not give up!! From personal experience as a daughter father wounds are sometimes harder to deal with then mother.
May this encourage your heart today!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Here's a poem I found that talks about anxiety may you be blessed as I was!
http://trauma.blog.yorku.ca/2017/10/7712/
I honestly can not talk about this season of our lives without feeling immense shame and grief. Most likely why I try not to address it to much with others. I'm writing today because I have decided I am kind of done with living in shame! I'm re reading Gospel Centered Mom by Brooke McGlothlin and I am finding freedom in knowing that as a mom who loves her boys more than life itself I am not supposed to get everything right. Jesus made me live this story because I am to NEVER get to a point where I don't need him. So as I reflect on our family story I want to ask you to help me see my story as not a failure but a victory! Invite me to fail but also see how far we have all come! Our life is a miracle, our family life is a miracle!
Two years ago I threatened divorce. I want to relieve any fear of me actually going through with it! I love my hubby! I know that God has us side by side that settles it! I love our family. If you saw how frustrating and heartbreaking home life was like in 2015 though I believe you would understand my want to leave. Like the hubby in Fireproof I just wanted peace and life looked like anything but two years ago! I am amazed at the faithfulness of God to prompt my hubby to choose to fight for our marriage! It is this fight that drives me to stay planted right where I am. Even on the days where I wake up with a bad attitude about something I'm seeing I always go back to two years ago and shudder at the thought.
Often I think about and see my life before my hubby a desolate wasteland. I had good points sure. But my heart was just trampled over and I couldn't tell you I was truly happy until God took everything away from me! My home, my ex, my dad, my job and I literally had nothing left! He stripped all of that away and I didn't understand at the time but now I see it was because he was about to reteach me how to do life! I had no idea that asking for help was ok and just the way God would have me live! When I couldn't look forward I had nowhere to look but up! This has been very much the course of my life.
It wasn't until Zechariah that I realized God was going to have me face the trauma I lived through once and for all. During our engagement we had all out wars over this! Almost broke up before the wedding because of this. See he even wanted to leave ;) Thankfully our Daddy knew exactly where we needed to be that weekend because the best guys in the world stood by our side the whole time and we were hugging and laughing by the end of the weekend! Beautiful isn't it? God really is the master storyteller!! But he was not done with us yet!
Now two years ago still wearing my wedding ring, Nathan sleeping in his room, watching my sweet little angel sleeping (I know not fair! Everyone is sleeping but me!) I couldn't be happier for our story! It has brought me such determination (almost as much as childbirth itself) community, stronger family dynamics, communication about my feelings and triggers that has become so freeing! Not often will I say that I am thankful for our hard season of our lives but for these blessed changes I do have to say I am thankful for it. It made our marriage Fireproof and my mothering change in ways I can never describe! Just watch me with little Joshy you will know what I mean! And that leads me to our little man!
Jesus calls him his sweet little angel because he is the redemption in our story! When I look at that boy I feel my heart melt! Don't get me wrong I love Nathan as much but I think you can understand why my view with Nathan might not be as loving at times. It's a triggering relationship. One I will never give up or stop working on. I'm sure any mom reading this would agree! But little Joshy is the perfection of our family! He's a cuddlebug, he is the happiest baby I know even through teething, he has this intense stare, he focuses and you get to see what he focuses on! In my lullaby I wrote for the boys I wrote that he makes me feel less alone! It's as if he was brought to my life to help me feel God's love! I know children are a blessing but this little one is such a beautiful gift! The funny thing is I was 90% sure we were going to have a girl! So sure I wore a pink sweater to the ultrasound! Seeing my sweet little angel sleeping so peacefully in his cradle though I tear up and smile that I wouldn't want it any other way!!
How about you? What are you living with? What are you hiding from? I promise you the process is not easy, you will want to give up, you will have days where you just need rest but if you will commit to the work of healing you will give yourself and your family the greatest gift! I knew that we were going to go through the hardest season of our lives! I didn't know all the details I didn't know the timeline I just knew I was going to have to fight! Looking back I can honestly say I wouldn't have wanted to do anything differently once our hard season hit. I will never wish what we went through on any other family but let us be the example and hope that Reunification is possible!
If you are a mom who struggles I'm right there with you! I still have hard days where frustration is high and patience is short but repair is essential. I do not want Nathan or Joshy to walk away from our interaction feeling unloved, not cared for, or not valued. May I encourage you to do the same!
If you are a dad reading this and you think it's to late please stop believing that lie!! Kiddos will always want their parents!! It's how God created them!! We are their biggest fans and they are ours! Repent if need be, forgive and move on towards the relationship you desire for you and your child! Please whatever you do do not give up!! From personal experience as a daughter father wounds are sometimes harder to deal with then mother.
May this encourage your heart today!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Here's a poem I found that talks about anxiety may you be blessed as I was!
http://trauma.blog.yorku.ca/2017/10/7712/
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
Love and Discovery
I love weddings!!! The morning of getting ready, the ceremony, the reception, the dances, all the memories made throughout the whole day! We have a wedding album that every anniversary we look at! My life really changed in 2012 and God really cemented that change on our wedding! I got to wear a beautiful dress and ring and take on a new last name and get adopted into a new family! Weddings are so sacred! The combining of two families into one through a couple!! I love everything about marriage!! I got the honor and privilege to marry my Spiritual Daughter this weekend. To see her walk down the aisle in her dress is one thing but to be the one honored enough to facilitate well there's no higher honor in my opinion!
I fumbled a bit but being my first wedding to officiate yeah it's kind of to be expected! I loved the sermon so much because it really was perfect for this particular couple!! I spent many nights and mornings on the phone with my lovely Shyanne planning and answering questions which I loved and seeing it all come together on Saturday was such a gift! This has been God all along I feel. My hubby was a wedding photo booth operator the first year of our marriage. He would leave for a wedding each Saturday! It felt a little lonely at times then I found out I was pregnant so being at home wasn't that much a problem anymore! I didn't appreciate our only vehicle being used for work though!
I was a stay at home mama for a year. Then our season hit... I got a job working in a wedding shop which I loved!! I loved celebrating a bride's dress experience I loved hearing about the wedding I loved what we had to sell! Great place to shop. unfortunately not so much a great place to work after a while! Also I found out I was pregnant in November last year so as I was leaving this position I found my way to the airport! I love the airport I'm sure you know why!! It brings me closer to my mama! One morning I was in my truck crying out to God to bring her back for Joshua!! I didn't care how he did it I just wanted to see it happen! Something about planes that make me feel she's just a plane ride away.
Now I officiate my first wedding and feel God is calling me to fight for marriage!! I love the marriage relationship! It's the first one mentioned in scripture. If God highlights that unit first, my thought is it must be of significant importance to God! 4 days into our marriage God told both Zechariah and I that we are good husband and wife! We were like "ummm 4 days in God what's your basis??" I realize now that it was to be prophecy. There's a statement you will hear us say "side by side that settles it" God gave this to us while we were in South Dakota together for a week in June 2012! We were simply meant to fight for marriage! Ours and other marriages are important to God! How cool is that!!!
I love weddings because they are such a powerful show of love! Not only did I officiate a wedding but I also discovered some healing! See I love how God brings two people together and changes their lives forever! I have to thank Shyanne as much for that as she does me! God is amazing like that! He is the master storyteller!!! Up until Saturday evening if I was to hear the song "I loved her first" by Heartland I would grieve over not getting my father daughter dance! Seeing Shyanne dance with her dad was so touching and funny!!! I was able to finally let go of that grief and focus on this beautiful memory happening in front of me!! Isn't that beautiful!! Maybe some day I will get my father daughter dance this side of eternity and if not I am ok with that! Another big praise to this wedding was a song I sworn off has resurfaced!
Weddings make you think alot! So I was thinking about my son and mother dance (I know way to early!!) and I know that Joshy and I will have "In case you didn't know" by Brett Young but wasn't super sure about mine and Nathan's dance song then I asked God and he says "What about I'll stand by you?" I at first fought this because there is a line that says "I won't let nobody hurt you." When our season hit I felt like I failed and didn't deserve to sing this song anymore! I also stopped it because of a vision I had that same week in South Dakota. I won't share it in detail because it makes me tear up. Essentially though Nathan calls out for me because he is scared and I am not there. This vision happened in 2012. I told Zechariah "I feel like it's 2 1/2 years away!!" Our season hit September 2015... I am shocked by how accurate this timeline really was!! God was preparing me for the hardest season of our lives and we weren't even married yet!!!
So as I listen the song "I'll stand by you" I hear the cry in my mama heart. I will never give up on either of my boys or my marriage! We are a family destined to be together orchestrated and perfected by God! Back in 2012 our lives changed forever and we had no idea just how much!! 5 years later I am seeing all those faithful promises he promised to fulfill in my life!! See this is why I love Jesus! When he says something it may take a while, but it's set, you can as business leaders say "take it to the bank" you can count on him delivering! This has been true over and over in my life!! Looking forward to this next adventure Jesus will have me embark on! Love being at the center of God's will!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y4lYF3Ic_E
I fumbled a bit but being my first wedding to officiate yeah it's kind of to be expected! I loved the sermon so much because it really was perfect for this particular couple!! I spent many nights and mornings on the phone with my lovely Shyanne planning and answering questions which I loved and seeing it all come together on Saturday was such a gift! This has been God all along I feel. My hubby was a wedding photo booth operator the first year of our marriage. He would leave for a wedding each Saturday! It felt a little lonely at times then I found out I was pregnant so being at home wasn't that much a problem anymore! I didn't appreciate our only vehicle being used for work though!
I was a stay at home mama for a year. Then our season hit... I got a job working in a wedding shop which I loved!! I loved celebrating a bride's dress experience I loved hearing about the wedding I loved what we had to sell! Great place to shop. unfortunately not so much a great place to work after a while! Also I found out I was pregnant in November last year so as I was leaving this position I found my way to the airport! I love the airport I'm sure you know why!! It brings me closer to my mama! One morning I was in my truck crying out to God to bring her back for Joshua!! I didn't care how he did it I just wanted to see it happen! Something about planes that make me feel she's just a plane ride away.
Now I officiate my first wedding and feel God is calling me to fight for marriage!! I love the marriage relationship! It's the first one mentioned in scripture. If God highlights that unit first, my thought is it must be of significant importance to God! 4 days into our marriage God told both Zechariah and I that we are good husband and wife! We were like "ummm 4 days in God what's your basis??" I realize now that it was to be prophecy. There's a statement you will hear us say "side by side that settles it" God gave this to us while we were in South Dakota together for a week in June 2012! We were simply meant to fight for marriage! Ours and other marriages are important to God! How cool is that!!!
I love weddings because they are such a powerful show of love! Not only did I officiate a wedding but I also discovered some healing! See I love how God brings two people together and changes their lives forever! I have to thank Shyanne as much for that as she does me! God is amazing like that! He is the master storyteller!!! Up until Saturday evening if I was to hear the song "I loved her first" by Heartland I would grieve over not getting my father daughter dance! Seeing Shyanne dance with her dad was so touching and funny!!! I was able to finally let go of that grief and focus on this beautiful memory happening in front of me!! Isn't that beautiful!! Maybe some day I will get my father daughter dance this side of eternity and if not I am ok with that! Another big praise to this wedding was a song I sworn off has resurfaced!
Weddings make you think alot! So I was thinking about my son and mother dance (I know way to early!!) and I know that Joshy and I will have "In case you didn't know" by Brett Young but wasn't super sure about mine and Nathan's dance song then I asked God and he says "What about I'll stand by you?" I at first fought this because there is a line that says "I won't let nobody hurt you." When our season hit I felt like I failed and didn't deserve to sing this song anymore! I also stopped it because of a vision I had that same week in South Dakota. I won't share it in detail because it makes me tear up. Essentially though Nathan calls out for me because he is scared and I am not there. This vision happened in 2012. I told Zechariah "I feel like it's 2 1/2 years away!!" Our season hit September 2015... I am shocked by how accurate this timeline really was!! God was preparing me for the hardest season of our lives and we weren't even married yet!!!
So as I listen the song "I'll stand by you" I hear the cry in my mama heart. I will never give up on either of my boys or my marriage! We are a family destined to be together orchestrated and perfected by God! Back in 2012 our lives changed forever and we had no idea just how much!! 5 years later I am seeing all those faithful promises he promised to fulfill in my life!! See this is why I love Jesus! When he says something it may take a while, but it's set, you can as business leaders say "take it to the bank" you can count on him delivering! This has been true over and over in my life!! Looking forward to this next adventure Jesus will have me embark on! Love being at the center of God's will!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y4lYF3Ic_E
Monday, October 2, 2017
Heal our Land!!
Oh my goodness! Is anyone else getting a little sick of all the violence in our land?? Just today a shooting happened at a country music concert in Las Vegas.. It's unconfirmed how many have been hurt. When is enough going to be enough? We were originally supposed to live in harmony and peace and Paul calls us to in 1 Thessalonians 5:13 to line in peace with another. Where have we gone so off track?? Since the Garden of Eden sin has entered our world God's beautiful perfect flawless creation tainted by the Serpent. What a sad outcome and what awful consequences of that disobedience!
Our country and world have undergone such turmoil and I wonder when it will end! I don't want my boys to grow up in a world with Satan winning. There's a scripture that has always challenged me a bit. It's Matthew 10:34 Jesus says he did come to bring peace to the earth but a sword. Reading this I don't really understand because He is the God or reconciliation after all! With the recent violence picking up around the world I wonder about that statement a little more. God is sovereign he does nothing to harm his people but then why that statement? If you read on to verse 37 we find our answer.
God desires everything to be second place to him! He alone is our hope, salvation, strength, security. We can put nothing before him or above him because He alone provides all we need! God is so Holy that we can't even see his face and live! I have seen Jesus many times in visions! Beauty doesn't even come close to describing Him! Only recently has he been able to show me his nail scarred hands. So what do I believe about this? I believe God is groaning for this all to end yet giving us as much time as we need to bring as many people we can to celebrate His kingdom with us!! He is giving us time to get loving as He has us right! I am so saddened to see how far we are from his original plan!
Our boys are growing up in a world that is anti-Jesus pretty much all over the system we hold high in standard; education, medical, government, media, social media. You see it all over! It breaks my heart hence this post!! We are definitely in a different world then when we were kids! The temptation is to sit in despair but not us! We have Jesus!!! My boys are my world and whatever is going on in it I am going to connect them to the most important being and Spirit they will ever need to arm themselves with against this violent enemy! I won't allow the boys to see violence! My theory is it may be happening elsewhere but not in our home!! By their love, awe and wonder I want these boys to change the world!!! I want them to melt stone hearts, make someone smile just because they are social little butterflies, or have the most joyful smile!! My boys are here to change your view of where hope is!! It's in those little feet and hands that will one day go out into this dark place armed with Jesus and His light!!!
Join me in prayer for all of the recent devastation that has swept over our land yet worry not about the outcome of these boys! They are in GOOD hands! Our Good Good Father will work in their lives!! I can already see it in both of them!! It encourages my mama heart so much when my little guy brings a smile to people because he intentionally finds someone to talk to. Nathan has made so many people smile and laugh in his little life!! This is an answered prayer! Their love for one another is such a blessing to me! I love how Nathan will randomly give Joshy a kiss, show him his toys, help me with things I need to take care of him. He will be a world changer of this I have no doubt, he already is!!!
Joshy is such a precious miracle of calm to my life! Activity level not so much! He's trying to crawl so desperately and is as alert as big brother was! When he smiles there's nothing like it! He is the happiest baby I know!! His laugh sounds like a song of praise I'm not even exaggerating! It sounds like a child that has no fear or concern just a joyful chorus of praise!! His smile medicates my heart!! My kiddos in so many ways show me that we still have hope that our land can be good! Zechariah and I are raising our boys to love all! Are we in agreement that for far to long generations passed down their hate? Not our family! We want the boys to love everyone just as Jesus does!!! As parents we are to train them in the way they should go. The way I want them to go is right to Jesus!!!
So I started this post with expressing my hurt I want to end this post with expressing my hope! Leviticus 26:6 "I will grant peace in the land, and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid." The same God that causes division also brings and desires to bring peace to our land. The truth though is we have to choose Him not our job, home, kids, money or anything else vying for our attention. He alone deserves the praise! He alone medicates our broken hearts! He alone heals our land! Here's another scripture to encourage you there is more then just now! Revelation 21!!!
Read this over several times, close your eyes and just try to visualize it!! "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and earth has passed away, and there was no longer any sea." "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and will live with them, They will be his people, and God himself will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21: 3-4
Can you imagine that?? I am so excited to see this!! I am so excited for the boys to see this!! I cry everyone sees this!! Friends Satan is a losing opponent he is defeated with one breath at the end times!! We Win in The End!!! One day violence will be no more! We will not have to fear for our children's safety, we won't need money, we will be with the one who has been waiting for us all along!! I so can't wait to worship with the saints I can't wait to hear the praise resounding in his Kingdom!! I can't wait to feast at his table with all our loved ones!! But for now as I wait to join eternity I have a mission here. I have two precious boys to teach, model and love to the men that will confidently meet Jesus!!
Let this bring you some much needed encouragement this Monday!!
I love you with ALL my Heart
Tina Martina Putney
Our country and world have undergone such turmoil and I wonder when it will end! I don't want my boys to grow up in a world with Satan winning. There's a scripture that has always challenged me a bit. It's Matthew 10:34 Jesus says he did come to bring peace to the earth but a sword. Reading this I don't really understand because He is the God or reconciliation after all! With the recent violence picking up around the world I wonder about that statement a little more. God is sovereign he does nothing to harm his people but then why that statement? If you read on to verse 37 we find our answer.
God desires everything to be second place to him! He alone is our hope, salvation, strength, security. We can put nothing before him or above him because He alone provides all we need! God is so Holy that we can't even see his face and live! I have seen Jesus many times in visions! Beauty doesn't even come close to describing Him! Only recently has he been able to show me his nail scarred hands. So what do I believe about this? I believe God is groaning for this all to end yet giving us as much time as we need to bring as many people we can to celebrate His kingdom with us!! He is giving us time to get loving as He has us right! I am so saddened to see how far we are from his original plan!
Our boys are growing up in a world that is anti-Jesus pretty much all over the system we hold high in standard; education, medical, government, media, social media. You see it all over! It breaks my heart hence this post!! We are definitely in a different world then when we were kids! The temptation is to sit in despair but not us! We have Jesus!!! My boys are my world and whatever is going on in it I am going to connect them to the most important being and Spirit they will ever need to arm themselves with against this violent enemy! I won't allow the boys to see violence! My theory is it may be happening elsewhere but not in our home!! By their love, awe and wonder I want these boys to change the world!!! I want them to melt stone hearts, make someone smile just because they are social little butterflies, or have the most joyful smile!! My boys are here to change your view of where hope is!! It's in those little feet and hands that will one day go out into this dark place armed with Jesus and His light!!!
Join me in prayer for all of the recent devastation that has swept over our land yet worry not about the outcome of these boys! They are in GOOD hands! Our Good Good Father will work in their lives!! I can already see it in both of them!! It encourages my mama heart so much when my little guy brings a smile to people because he intentionally finds someone to talk to. Nathan has made so many people smile and laugh in his little life!! This is an answered prayer! Their love for one another is such a blessing to me! I love how Nathan will randomly give Joshy a kiss, show him his toys, help me with things I need to take care of him. He will be a world changer of this I have no doubt, he already is!!!
Joshy is such a precious miracle of calm to my life! Activity level not so much! He's trying to crawl so desperately and is as alert as big brother was! When he smiles there's nothing like it! He is the happiest baby I know!! His laugh sounds like a song of praise I'm not even exaggerating! It sounds like a child that has no fear or concern just a joyful chorus of praise!! His smile medicates my heart!! My kiddos in so many ways show me that we still have hope that our land can be good! Zechariah and I are raising our boys to love all! Are we in agreement that for far to long generations passed down their hate? Not our family! We want the boys to love everyone just as Jesus does!!! As parents we are to train them in the way they should go. The way I want them to go is right to Jesus!!!
So I started this post with expressing my hurt I want to end this post with expressing my hope! Leviticus 26:6 "I will grant peace in the land, and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid." The same God that causes division also brings and desires to bring peace to our land. The truth though is we have to choose Him not our job, home, kids, money or anything else vying for our attention. He alone deserves the praise! He alone medicates our broken hearts! He alone heals our land! Here's another scripture to encourage you there is more then just now! Revelation 21!!!
Read this over several times, close your eyes and just try to visualize it!! "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and earth has passed away, and there was no longer any sea." "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and will live with them, They will be his people, and God himself will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21: 3-4
Can you imagine that?? I am so excited to see this!! I am so excited for the boys to see this!! I cry everyone sees this!! Friends Satan is a losing opponent he is defeated with one breath at the end times!! We Win in The End!!! One day violence will be no more! We will not have to fear for our children's safety, we won't need money, we will be with the one who has been waiting for us all along!! I so can't wait to worship with the saints I can't wait to hear the praise resounding in his Kingdom!! I can't wait to feast at his table with all our loved ones!! But for now as I wait to join eternity I have a mission here. I have two precious boys to teach, model and love to the men that will confidently meet Jesus!!
Let this bring you some much needed encouragement this Monday!!
I love you with ALL my Heart
Tina Martina Putney
Sunday, October 1, 2017
She did it for me...
Warning this may ruffle some feathers if you read it, I'm OK with that, because the reaction I just had to what I finally discovered has to be shared. You might want to grab some Kleenex because as I write this I'm sniffling. I have a question for you. What do you think of when you think of God protecting you? Do you know what I think? I think about my dog. This may sound strange to those that don't know my story. To those that you do it's just sad. See God has been so real in my life that when that truth of I will protect and provide for you is challenged I challenge right back! This all happened after a dispute with hubby this morning. To understand a little bit more of why I believe what I do, reason why I reason, live why I do read on.
So a long time ago God audibly spoke to me one day. I as you recall have been diagnosed with PTSD, one day I kept hearing my dog yelping, this just awful scream that pierces my ears. When I began my work with Mom and baby I mentioned my ears alot. I didn't understand why that was significant and I now discovered that the scream in my ears has always been there it just got louder after the birth of my firstborn. Can you imagine living with a scream that is ear piercing and then be alone with a teething crying baby? That was my nightmare for a year! I love my boys! My hard to handle boy keeps me seeking out new options for how to parent out of love not fear! And to be brutally honest the first year of his life was a nightmare for me.
When my dog let out her bladder at home she would get pulled sometimes dragged to the spot so she could smell and see what she did, then she would be hit repeatedly. All I could do was watch. I almost numbed from this but something made me watch and feel her pain. Now I know it was going to be how God would show me his protection. I would hold her and just cry to her "why?" "Why do you do this?' "Why do you let him hurt you?" Being a dog I am not all that sure she understood. Now I see I didn't either. She was a springer spaniel welsh beagle mix. She had black dots on her nose, wavy ears and a tail that we didn't get cut, so one day she was mistaken for a bear!! I hated so much when she did something wrong at times I didn't want to tell him either. Please don't ask who the him is I don't want to point fingers... they know who they are... I felt like I was the reason she was getting ill treated. That actually turned out to be true.
So every time I heard her scream in pain was another time I didn't have to. The scream was not something I could have forgot even if I wanted to. I get why crying has been a trigger now... you may be wondering why am I writing this publicly... I guess I feel that if my story helps just one person see Jesus in my life then it needs to be shared. My intention is not to blame or shame but make Jesus famous!! He is the real hero in my life! The champion and the perfecter of my faith! He has been helping me find my voice!! This is one of the ways he has given me to speak! So I share...
God has always protected me and provided for me, so when this truth is challenged I challenge back. It's so real to me to see God as my protector that I just can't see anything else. He's provided for me so much that worrying is just not a part of my make up anymore. Last week at church I was anxious. Right then and there I prayed for Him to calm my anxiety. Within seconds I was mindful and present in the Sermon and was able to focus and participate. See my theory is when worry arises you pray.
Jesus tells us not to worry and so I feel if God himself is telling me not to worry then I lost my right to. So before worry I pray. It's hard to do when I'm flooded like when my 3 year old runs off and I lose sight of him even for a few seconds, but you will see my knack is to pray more then worry! I want to invite you to this freeing way to live and do faith! I have come to rely and rest in Jesus being who he says he is and doing what he says he'll do. I hope and pray you can join me!
May Jesus bless you this day with every good gift mainly himself!! I hope you understand a little more of why I behave the way I do on certain trigger areas. It's tough living in a minefield in your mind where everything is going just fine then all of a sudden seemingly out of nowhere it blows up in your face!!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
So a long time ago God audibly spoke to me one day. I as you recall have been diagnosed with PTSD, one day I kept hearing my dog yelping, this just awful scream that pierces my ears. When I began my work with Mom and baby I mentioned my ears alot. I didn't understand why that was significant and I now discovered that the scream in my ears has always been there it just got louder after the birth of my firstborn. Can you imagine living with a scream that is ear piercing and then be alone with a teething crying baby? That was my nightmare for a year! I love my boys! My hard to handle boy keeps me seeking out new options for how to parent out of love not fear! And to be brutally honest the first year of his life was a nightmare for me.
When my dog let out her bladder at home she would get pulled sometimes dragged to the spot so she could smell and see what she did, then she would be hit repeatedly. All I could do was watch. I almost numbed from this but something made me watch and feel her pain. Now I know it was going to be how God would show me his protection. I would hold her and just cry to her "why?" "Why do you do this?' "Why do you let him hurt you?" Being a dog I am not all that sure she understood. Now I see I didn't either. She was a springer spaniel welsh beagle mix. She had black dots on her nose, wavy ears and a tail that we didn't get cut, so one day she was mistaken for a bear!! I hated so much when she did something wrong at times I didn't want to tell him either. Please don't ask who the him is I don't want to point fingers... they know who they are... I felt like I was the reason she was getting ill treated. That actually turned out to be true.
So every time I heard her scream in pain was another time I didn't have to. The scream was not something I could have forgot even if I wanted to. I get why crying has been a trigger now... you may be wondering why am I writing this publicly... I guess I feel that if my story helps just one person see Jesus in my life then it needs to be shared. My intention is not to blame or shame but make Jesus famous!! He is the real hero in my life! The champion and the perfecter of my faith! He has been helping me find my voice!! This is one of the ways he has given me to speak! So I share...
God has always protected me and provided for me, so when this truth is challenged I challenge back. It's so real to me to see God as my protector that I just can't see anything else. He's provided for me so much that worrying is just not a part of my make up anymore. Last week at church I was anxious. Right then and there I prayed for Him to calm my anxiety. Within seconds I was mindful and present in the Sermon and was able to focus and participate. See my theory is when worry arises you pray.
Jesus tells us not to worry and so I feel if God himself is telling me not to worry then I lost my right to. So before worry I pray. It's hard to do when I'm flooded like when my 3 year old runs off and I lose sight of him even for a few seconds, but you will see my knack is to pray more then worry! I want to invite you to this freeing way to live and do faith! I have come to rely and rest in Jesus being who he says he is and doing what he says he'll do. I hope and pray you can join me!
May Jesus bless you this day with every good gift mainly himself!! I hope you understand a little more of why I behave the way I do on certain trigger areas. It's tough living in a minefield in your mind where everything is going just fine then all of a sudden seemingly out of nowhere it blows up in your face!!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney