I told my high school art teacher I hated art. On Friday I was driving back home and I actually made a point to look at the murals on the wall of the buildings. I couldn't help but notice what I usually am to busy to pay attention to. Then it hit me, art is beautiful, like music is speaks a story! A lot goes into a masterpiece and we are no different.
There may be darker strokes in the canvas of our lives but when we look over the canvas of our lives we are going to see so many beautiful moments too! Our marriage, our kiddos, our calling, the times we loved so deeply and cried out to Jesus so desperately. We are going to see it all as will Jesus. Nothing we have ever said or done will be hidden and finally the question in all of our hearts will be answered will he still love me? Does a potter love his pottery less if there are cracks, dents, deformities to their piece? That's what we are and that is who HE is! In Japan they spend extra time filling in the cracked pottery with Gold!
To Jesus we are the broken pottery and HE is the gold that holds us together not just the glue! Do you see how beautiful that is?? When we just want someone to hold us together we have a Savior that does that and so much more! He adds value to us! He see us as worthy possessions to treat ever so delicately! Since writing this I believe I have found art to be another expression of how God expresses beauty! It's probably why I love taking pictures and videos so much! They tell a story and a beautiful one at that!!! I'm a visual learner if I see it I get it! As I was driving home Friday with Nathan in the car I made a point to point out butterflies or ask about the colors and then I caught the moment of joy it gave me!
I love to think about the people that touched that wall, I like to think about what their vision was as they began, I like to think and hope they prayed over their masterpiece, it's on display for all to see! There is a mural in Chippewa Falls that Zechariah's mom showed me as he was in South Dakota. It's of the band director and those that lost their lives in a bus crash. I like to think of the people who created this piece to have prayed over the families of the loved ones on the wall. I pray it has brought them comfort!
You see what I mean about art being beautiful! Music and art are the two things that connect to our souls! I'm sure this has happened to you before but you have a really bad morning you get in your car and all of a sudden the exact song you needed to hear plays in your radio and for a moment you get lost in the lyrics or music. Tears fall and you feel less alone! Art does that to artists but I am beginning to realize you don't have to be an art teacher to appreciate and love art!
I love you! The broken and cracked art you are someday all will be new and make sense but for now live in the glorious reality that you are broken and the only one that can put you back together and give you immense worth is Jesus!! Remember this on those very challenging and lonely days of your journey! Appreciate the process of being covered in Gold!
May you be blessed on this Sunday!
Love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Sunday, November 12, 2017
Saturday, October 28, 2017
Somewhere in Judah...
Ever feel like every day is the same? Get up try and use the bathroom before little mouths wake up hungry, immediately get breakfast on the table, try to spend some time with God, throw on a movie or show that has already been asked for like the 400th time, just as you are about to eat yourself your adorable 5 month old wakes up so that's out because he needs to nurse. Your older son is watching T.V. your youngest is nursing and just to have some "you" time you are on your phone checking facebook. It's not even 9 in the morning. Many mornings go by with this same routine it can get boring at times.
Today however I got a beautiful "download" from God about how to see the mundane days of being a stay at home mom. Turn with me to John 6. The story of Jesus feeding the five thousand struck me in a fresh way this morning. No one could have predicted what miracle was about to take place from such an ordinary lunch. I'm sure a lot of people could read over this story and not feel the impact of it but let me share what I just learned! Somewhere in Judah a mama packed this boys lunch!
Somewhere in Judah a mama was packing this boys lunch most likely the same day in day out with nothing significant to show for it. She was doing what God had called her to do! She was being the role he asked her to be. She was putting food on the table, doing laundry, washing dishes, but she was about to have a profound awakening. She has been teaching her son important lessons how to be kind, how to offer what you have even if it is a bagged lunch, she has been teaching her son about Jesus and on this ordinary day she would hear the most extraordinary story!! This mama and her efforts to lead her son were going to all pay off!!
The scene is set the boy hands the disciples his lunch 5 loaves of bread two fish and Jesus then takes this boy's lunch and blesses it gives thanks to God and now everyone is wondering what happens next!! The miracle of all miracles!! He feeds five thousand people that day!!! Can you imagine the look of sheer amazement that came over this little boys face? If his mama was there I'm sure tears were welling up in her eyes thinking something like he sees and hears me and because he hears and sees he responds!
This ordinary lunch became a supernatural sign from Jesus to potentially the mama who desperately needs to see Jesus working. Are you there too? Are you that mama that feels like everyday you are obedient to the call in your life and it just feels so mundane? Mama if you are doing everything you do for the glory of Jesus be blessed because your reward is coming!!! It may not be feeding five thousand people but maybe in the silent prayers you never dare share to another soul. Jesus hears and sees you! Be encouraged mama!! He may keep you a stay at home mom or he may call you to be an even greater influence outside of the home.
This week God gave me back my job where I was working with brides, wedding parties, parents and people that are just looking to add beauty to their home! Never would I have planned to be going back to work outside of the home at least not now! But when God answers prayers he does so in large and small ways!! Instead of just having my influence be at home he is having me make an influence outside of the home also! This is why this made me tear up this morning. I am in that season where things seem the same everyday and then God hands me my job back!! You could say I felt like that boy with the lunch in this example and now feeling like the mama who is thinking he hears and sees me.
I get it mama, I get the feelings of being made to do the same things over and over with no immediate result or change. Then I see a story like this and get a download from God that is so good I can't help but smile! He really does love me! He loves you too! You are making an impact inside your home an impact that will be so profound in due time! Somedays He calls us to do this full-time sometimes He calls us to make a bigger impact outside of the home! Whatever the call do it with your whole heart! I promise you will see a blessing so great or maybe even more then one, as has been our experience!!
God's favor is so good so rich that we have nothing else to do but praise and live our lives with true obedience to what God desires.
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Today however I got a beautiful "download" from God about how to see the mundane days of being a stay at home mom. Turn with me to John 6. The story of Jesus feeding the five thousand struck me in a fresh way this morning. No one could have predicted what miracle was about to take place from such an ordinary lunch. I'm sure a lot of people could read over this story and not feel the impact of it but let me share what I just learned! Somewhere in Judah a mama packed this boys lunch!
Somewhere in Judah a mama was packing this boys lunch most likely the same day in day out with nothing significant to show for it. She was doing what God had called her to do! She was being the role he asked her to be. She was putting food on the table, doing laundry, washing dishes, but she was about to have a profound awakening. She has been teaching her son important lessons how to be kind, how to offer what you have even if it is a bagged lunch, she has been teaching her son about Jesus and on this ordinary day she would hear the most extraordinary story!! This mama and her efforts to lead her son were going to all pay off!!
The scene is set the boy hands the disciples his lunch 5 loaves of bread two fish and Jesus then takes this boy's lunch and blesses it gives thanks to God and now everyone is wondering what happens next!! The miracle of all miracles!! He feeds five thousand people that day!!! Can you imagine the look of sheer amazement that came over this little boys face? If his mama was there I'm sure tears were welling up in her eyes thinking something like he sees and hears me and because he hears and sees he responds!
This ordinary lunch became a supernatural sign from Jesus to potentially the mama who desperately needs to see Jesus working. Are you there too? Are you that mama that feels like everyday you are obedient to the call in your life and it just feels so mundane? Mama if you are doing everything you do for the glory of Jesus be blessed because your reward is coming!!! It may not be feeding five thousand people but maybe in the silent prayers you never dare share to another soul. Jesus hears and sees you! Be encouraged mama!! He may keep you a stay at home mom or he may call you to be an even greater influence outside of the home.
This week God gave me back my job where I was working with brides, wedding parties, parents and people that are just looking to add beauty to their home! Never would I have planned to be going back to work outside of the home at least not now! But when God answers prayers he does so in large and small ways!! Instead of just having my influence be at home he is having me make an influence outside of the home also! This is why this made me tear up this morning. I am in that season where things seem the same everyday and then God hands me my job back!! You could say I felt like that boy with the lunch in this example and now feeling like the mama who is thinking he hears and sees me.
I get it mama, I get the feelings of being made to do the same things over and over with no immediate result or change. Then I see a story like this and get a download from God that is so good I can't help but smile! He really does love me! He loves you too! You are making an impact inside your home an impact that will be so profound in due time! Somedays He calls us to do this full-time sometimes He calls us to make a bigger impact outside of the home! Whatever the call do it with your whole heart! I promise you will see a blessing so great or maybe even more then one, as has been our experience!!
God's favor is so good so rich that we have nothing else to do but praise and live our lives with true obedience to what God desires.
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Monday, October 23, 2017
I'm coming your way
Ever lived with something you always felt shame over?? That's me ever since two years ago... I had a really big hurdle in my mothering to overcome. Untreated trauma flared up like nothing I could imagine! What many do not know is the second I held my son Nathan in my arms for the first time I audibly heard God say to me "You're going to have to fight to be mama," Wow! talk about uh oh what are you going to have me do moment?
I honestly can not talk about this season of our lives without feeling immense shame and grief. Most likely why I try not to address it to much with others. I'm writing today because I have decided I am kind of done with living in shame! I'm re reading Gospel Centered Mom by Brooke McGlothlin and I am finding freedom in knowing that as a mom who loves her boys more than life itself I am not supposed to get everything right. Jesus made me live this story because I am to NEVER get to a point where I don't need him. So as I reflect on our family story I want to ask you to help me see my story as not a failure but a victory! Invite me to fail but also see how far we have all come! Our life is a miracle, our family life is a miracle!
Two years ago I threatened divorce. I want to relieve any fear of me actually going through with it! I love my hubby! I know that God has us side by side that settles it! I love our family. If you saw how frustrating and heartbreaking home life was like in 2015 though I believe you would understand my want to leave. Like the hubby in Fireproof I just wanted peace and life looked like anything but two years ago! I am amazed at the faithfulness of God to prompt my hubby to choose to fight for our marriage! It is this fight that drives me to stay planted right where I am. Even on the days where I wake up with a bad attitude about something I'm seeing I always go back to two years ago and shudder at the thought.
Often I think about and see my life before my hubby a desolate wasteland. I had good points sure. But my heart was just trampled over and I couldn't tell you I was truly happy until God took everything away from me! My home, my ex, my dad, my job and I literally had nothing left! He stripped all of that away and I didn't understand at the time but now I see it was because he was about to reteach me how to do life! I had no idea that asking for help was ok and just the way God would have me live! When I couldn't look forward I had nowhere to look but up! This has been very much the course of my life.
It wasn't until Zechariah that I realized God was going to have me face the trauma I lived through once and for all. During our engagement we had all out wars over this! Almost broke up before the wedding because of this. See he even wanted to leave ;) Thankfully our Daddy knew exactly where we needed to be that weekend because the best guys in the world stood by our side the whole time and we were hugging and laughing by the end of the weekend! Beautiful isn't it? God really is the master storyteller!! But he was not done with us yet!
Now two years ago still wearing my wedding ring, Nathan sleeping in his room, watching my sweet little angel sleeping (I know not fair! Everyone is sleeping but me!) I couldn't be happier for our story! It has brought me such determination (almost as much as childbirth itself) community, stronger family dynamics, communication about my feelings and triggers that has become so freeing! Not often will I say that I am thankful for our hard season of our lives but for these blessed changes I do have to say I am thankful for it. It made our marriage Fireproof and my mothering change in ways I can never describe! Just watch me with little Joshy you will know what I mean! And that leads me to our little man!
Jesus calls him his sweet little angel because he is the redemption in our story! When I look at that boy I feel my heart melt! Don't get me wrong I love Nathan as much but I think you can understand why my view with Nathan might not be as loving at times. It's a triggering relationship. One I will never give up or stop working on. I'm sure any mom reading this would agree! But little Joshy is the perfection of our family! He's a cuddlebug, he is the happiest baby I know even through teething, he has this intense stare, he focuses and you get to see what he focuses on! In my lullaby I wrote for the boys I wrote that he makes me feel less alone! It's as if he was brought to my life to help me feel God's love! I know children are a blessing but this little one is such a beautiful gift! The funny thing is I was 90% sure we were going to have a girl! So sure I wore a pink sweater to the ultrasound! Seeing my sweet little angel sleeping so peacefully in his cradle though I tear up and smile that I wouldn't want it any other way!!
How about you? What are you living with? What are you hiding from? I promise you the process is not easy, you will want to give up, you will have days where you just need rest but if you will commit to the work of healing you will give yourself and your family the greatest gift! I knew that we were going to go through the hardest season of our lives! I didn't know all the details I didn't know the timeline I just knew I was going to have to fight! Looking back I can honestly say I wouldn't have wanted to do anything differently once our hard season hit. I will never wish what we went through on any other family but let us be the example and hope that Reunification is possible!
If you are a mom who struggles I'm right there with you! I still have hard days where frustration is high and patience is short but repair is essential. I do not want Nathan or Joshy to walk away from our interaction feeling unloved, not cared for, or not valued. May I encourage you to do the same!
If you are a dad reading this and you think it's to late please stop believing that lie!! Kiddos will always want their parents!! It's how God created them!! We are their biggest fans and they are ours! Repent if need be, forgive and move on towards the relationship you desire for you and your child! Please whatever you do do not give up!! From personal experience as a daughter father wounds are sometimes harder to deal with then mother.
May this encourage your heart today!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Here's a poem I found that talks about anxiety may you be blessed as I was!
http://trauma.blog.yorku.ca/2017/10/7712/
I honestly can not talk about this season of our lives without feeling immense shame and grief. Most likely why I try not to address it to much with others. I'm writing today because I have decided I am kind of done with living in shame! I'm re reading Gospel Centered Mom by Brooke McGlothlin and I am finding freedom in knowing that as a mom who loves her boys more than life itself I am not supposed to get everything right. Jesus made me live this story because I am to NEVER get to a point where I don't need him. So as I reflect on our family story I want to ask you to help me see my story as not a failure but a victory! Invite me to fail but also see how far we have all come! Our life is a miracle, our family life is a miracle!
Two years ago I threatened divorce. I want to relieve any fear of me actually going through with it! I love my hubby! I know that God has us side by side that settles it! I love our family. If you saw how frustrating and heartbreaking home life was like in 2015 though I believe you would understand my want to leave. Like the hubby in Fireproof I just wanted peace and life looked like anything but two years ago! I am amazed at the faithfulness of God to prompt my hubby to choose to fight for our marriage! It is this fight that drives me to stay planted right where I am. Even on the days where I wake up with a bad attitude about something I'm seeing I always go back to two years ago and shudder at the thought.
Often I think about and see my life before my hubby a desolate wasteland. I had good points sure. But my heart was just trampled over and I couldn't tell you I was truly happy until God took everything away from me! My home, my ex, my dad, my job and I literally had nothing left! He stripped all of that away and I didn't understand at the time but now I see it was because he was about to reteach me how to do life! I had no idea that asking for help was ok and just the way God would have me live! When I couldn't look forward I had nowhere to look but up! This has been very much the course of my life.
It wasn't until Zechariah that I realized God was going to have me face the trauma I lived through once and for all. During our engagement we had all out wars over this! Almost broke up before the wedding because of this. See he even wanted to leave ;) Thankfully our Daddy knew exactly where we needed to be that weekend because the best guys in the world stood by our side the whole time and we were hugging and laughing by the end of the weekend! Beautiful isn't it? God really is the master storyteller!! But he was not done with us yet!
Now two years ago still wearing my wedding ring, Nathan sleeping in his room, watching my sweet little angel sleeping (I know not fair! Everyone is sleeping but me!) I couldn't be happier for our story! It has brought me such determination (almost as much as childbirth itself) community, stronger family dynamics, communication about my feelings and triggers that has become so freeing! Not often will I say that I am thankful for our hard season of our lives but for these blessed changes I do have to say I am thankful for it. It made our marriage Fireproof and my mothering change in ways I can never describe! Just watch me with little Joshy you will know what I mean! And that leads me to our little man!
Jesus calls him his sweet little angel because he is the redemption in our story! When I look at that boy I feel my heart melt! Don't get me wrong I love Nathan as much but I think you can understand why my view with Nathan might not be as loving at times. It's a triggering relationship. One I will never give up or stop working on. I'm sure any mom reading this would agree! But little Joshy is the perfection of our family! He's a cuddlebug, he is the happiest baby I know even through teething, he has this intense stare, he focuses and you get to see what he focuses on! In my lullaby I wrote for the boys I wrote that he makes me feel less alone! It's as if he was brought to my life to help me feel God's love! I know children are a blessing but this little one is such a beautiful gift! The funny thing is I was 90% sure we were going to have a girl! So sure I wore a pink sweater to the ultrasound! Seeing my sweet little angel sleeping so peacefully in his cradle though I tear up and smile that I wouldn't want it any other way!!
How about you? What are you living with? What are you hiding from? I promise you the process is not easy, you will want to give up, you will have days where you just need rest but if you will commit to the work of healing you will give yourself and your family the greatest gift! I knew that we were going to go through the hardest season of our lives! I didn't know all the details I didn't know the timeline I just knew I was going to have to fight! Looking back I can honestly say I wouldn't have wanted to do anything differently once our hard season hit. I will never wish what we went through on any other family but let us be the example and hope that Reunification is possible!
If you are a mom who struggles I'm right there with you! I still have hard days where frustration is high and patience is short but repair is essential. I do not want Nathan or Joshy to walk away from our interaction feeling unloved, not cared for, or not valued. May I encourage you to do the same!
If you are a dad reading this and you think it's to late please stop believing that lie!! Kiddos will always want their parents!! It's how God created them!! We are their biggest fans and they are ours! Repent if need be, forgive and move on towards the relationship you desire for you and your child! Please whatever you do do not give up!! From personal experience as a daughter father wounds are sometimes harder to deal with then mother.
May this encourage your heart today!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Here's a poem I found that talks about anxiety may you be blessed as I was!
http://trauma.blog.yorku.ca/2017/10/7712/
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
Love and Discovery
I love weddings!!! The morning of getting ready, the ceremony, the reception, the dances, all the memories made throughout the whole day! We have a wedding album that every anniversary we look at! My life really changed in 2012 and God really cemented that change on our wedding! I got to wear a beautiful dress and ring and take on a new last name and get adopted into a new family! Weddings are so sacred! The combining of two families into one through a couple!! I love everything about marriage!! I got the honor and privilege to marry my Spiritual Daughter this weekend. To see her walk down the aisle in her dress is one thing but to be the one honored enough to facilitate well there's no higher honor in my opinion!
I fumbled a bit but being my first wedding to officiate yeah it's kind of to be expected! I loved the sermon so much because it really was perfect for this particular couple!! I spent many nights and mornings on the phone with my lovely Shyanne planning and answering questions which I loved and seeing it all come together on Saturday was such a gift! This has been God all along I feel. My hubby was a wedding photo booth operator the first year of our marriage. He would leave for a wedding each Saturday! It felt a little lonely at times then I found out I was pregnant so being at home wasn't that much a problem anymore! I didn't appreciate our only vehicle being used for work though!
I was a stay at home mama for a year. Then our season hit... I got a job working in a wedding shop which I loved!! I loved celebrating a bride's dress experience I loved hearing about the wedding I loved what we had to sell! Great place to shop. unfortunately not so much a great place to work after a while! Also I found out I was pregnant in November last year so as I was leaving this position I found my way to the airport! I love the airport I'm sure you know why!! It brings me closer to my mama! One morning I was in my truck crying out to God to bring her back for Joshua!! I didn't care how he did it I just wanted to see it happen! Something about planes that make me feel she's just a plane ride away.
Now I officiate my first wedding and feel God is calling me to fight for marriage!! I love the marriage relationship! It's the first one mentioned in scripture. If God highlights that unit first, my thought is it must be of significant importance to God! 4 days into our marriage God told both Zechariah and I that we are good husband and wife! We were like "ummm 4 days in God what's your basis??" I realize now that it was to be prophecy. There's a statement you will hear us say "side by side that settles it" God gave this to us while we were in South Dakota together for a week in June 2012! We were simply meant to fight for marriage! Ours and other marriages are important to God! How cool is that!!!
I love weddings because they are such a powerful show of love! Not only did I officiate a wedding but I also discovered some healing! See I love how God brings two people together and changes their lives forever! I have to thank Shyanne as much for that as she does me! God is amazing like that! He is the master storyteller!!! Up until Saturday evening if I was to hear the song "I loved her first" by Heartland I would grieve over not getting my father daughter dance! Seeing Shyanne dance with her dad was so touching and funny!!! I was able to finally let go of that grief and focus on this beautiful memory happening in front of me!! Isn't that beautiful!! Maybe some day I will get my father daughter dance this side of eternity and if not I am ok with that! Another big praise to this wedding was a song I sworn off has resurfaced!
Weddings make you think alot! So I was thinking about my son and mother dance (I know way to early!!) and I know that Joshy and I will have "In case you didn't know" by Brett Young but wasn't super sure about mine and Nathan's dance song then I asked God and he says "What about I'll stand by you?" I at first fought this because there is a line that says "I won't let nobody hurt you." When our season hit I felt like I failed and didn't deserve to sing this song anymore! I also stopped it because of a vision I had that same week in South Dakota. I won't share it in detail because it makes me tear up. Essentially though Nathan calls out for me because he is scared and I am not there. This vision happened in 2012. I told Zechariah "I feel like it's 2 1/2 years away!!" Our season hit September 2015... I am shocked by how accurate this timeline really was!! God was preparing me for the hardest season of our lives and we weren't even married yet!!!
So as I listen the song "I'll stand by you" I hear the cry in my mama heart. I will never give up on either of my boys or my marriage! We are a family destined to be together orchestrated and perfected by God! Back in 2012 our lives changed forever and we had no idea just how much!! 5 years later I am seeing all those faithful promises he promised to fulfill in my life!! See this is why I love Jesus! When he says something it may take a while, but it's set, you can as business leaders say "take it to the bank" you can count on him delivering! This has been true over and over in my life!! Looking forward to this next adventure Jesus will have me embark on! Love being at the center of God's will!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y4lYF3Ic_E
I fumbled a bit but being my first wedding to officiate yeah it's kind of to be expected! I loved the sermon so much because it really was perfect for this particular couple!! I spent many nights and mornings on the phone with my lovely Shyanne planning and answering questions which I loved and seeing it all come together on Saturday was such a gift! This has been God all along I feel. My hubby was a wedding photo booth operator the first year of our marriage. He would leave for a wedding each Saturday! It felt a little lonely at times then I found out I was pregnant so being at home wasn't that much a problem anymore! I didn't appreciate our only vehicle being used for work though!
I was a stay at home mama for a year. Then our season hit... I got a job working in a wedding shop which I loved!! I loved celebrating a bride's dress experience I loved hearing about the wedding I loved what we had to sell! Great place to shop. unfortunately not so much a great place to work after a while! Also I found out I was pregnant in November last year so as I was leaving this position I found my way to the airport! I love the airport I'm sure you know why!! It brings me closer to my mama! One morning I was in my truck crying out to God to bring her back for Joshua!! I didn't care how he did it I just wanted to see it happen! Something about planes that make me feel she's just a plane ride away.
Now I officiate my first wedding and feel God is calling me to fight for marriage!! I love the marriage relationship! It's the first one mentioned in scripture. If God highlights that unit first, my thought is it must be of significant importance to God! 4 days into our marriage God told both Zechariah and I that we are good husband and wife! We were like "ummm 4 days in God what's your basis??" I realize now that it was to be prophecy. There's a statement you will hear us say "side by side that settles it" God gave this to us while we were in South Dakota together for a week in June 2012! We were simply meant to fight for marriage! Ours and other marriages are important to God! How cool is that!!!
I love weddings because they are such a powerful show of love! Not only did I officiate a wedding but I also discovered some healing! See I love how God brings two people together and changes their lives forever! I have to thank Shyanne as much for that as she does me! God is amazing like that! He is the master storyteller!!! Up until Saturday evening if I was to hear the song "I loved her first" by Heartland I would grieve over not getting my father daughter dance! Seeing Shyanne dance with her dad was so touching and funny!!! I was able to finally let go of that grief and focus on this beautiful memory happening in front of me!! Isn't that beautiful!! Maybe some day I will get my father daughter dance this side of eternity and if not I am ok with that! Another big praise to this wedding was a song I sworn off has resurfaced!
Weddings make you think alot! So I was thinking about my son and mother dance (I know way to early!!) and I know that Joshy and I will have "In case you didn't know" by Brett Young but wasn't super sure about mine and Nathan's dance song then I asked God and he says "What about I'll stand by you?" I at first fought this because there is a line that says "I won't let nobody hurt you." When our season hit I felt like I failed and didn't deserve to sing this song anymore! I also stopped it because of a vision I had that same week in South Dakota. I won't share it in detail because it makes me tear up. Essentially though Nathan calls out for me because he is scared and I am not there. This vision happened in 2012. I told Zechariah "I feel like it's 2 1/2 years away!!" Our season hit September 2015... I am shocked by how accurate this timeline really was!! God was preparing me for the hardest season of our lives and we weren't even married yet!!!
So as I listen the song "I'll stand by you" I hear the cry in my mama heart. I will never give up on either of my boys or my marriage! We are a family destined to be together orchestrated and perfected by God! Back in 2012 our lives changed forever and we had no idea just how much!! 5 years later I am seeing all those faithful promises he promised to fulfill in my life!! See this is why I love Jesus! When he says something it may take a while, but it's set, you can as business leaders say "take it to the bank" you can count on him delivering! This has been true over and over in my life!! Looking forward to this next adventure Jesus will have me embark on! Love being at the center of God's will!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y4lYF3Ic_E
Monday, October 2, 2017
Heal our Land!!
Oh my goodness! Is anyone else getting a little sick of all the violence in our land?? Just today a shooting happened at a country music concert in Las Vegas.. It's unconfirmed how many have been hurt. When is enough going to be enough? We were originally supposed to live in harmony and peace and Paul calls us to in 1 Thessalonians 5:13 to line in peace with another. Where have we gone so off track?? Since the Garden of Eden sin has entered our world God's beautiful perfect flawless creation tainted by the Serpent. What a sad outcome and what awful consequences of that disobedience!
Our country and world have undergone such turmoil and I wonder when it will end! I don't want my boys to grow up in a world with Satan winning. There's a scripture that has always challenged me a bit. It's Matthew 10:34 Jesus says he did come to bring peace to the earth but a sword. Reading this I don't really understand because He is the God or reconciliation after all! With the recent violence picking up around the world I wonder about that statement a little more. God is sovereign he does nothing to harm his people but then why that statement? If you read on to verse 37 we find our answer.
God desires everything to be second place to him! He alone is our hope, salvation, strength, security. We can put nothing before him or above him because He alone provides all we need! God is so Holy that we can't even see his face and live! I have seen Jesus many times in visions! Beauty doesn't even come close to describing Him! Only recently has he been able to show me his nail scarred hands. So what do I believe about this? I believe God is groaning for this all to end yet giving us as much time as we need to bring as many people we can to celebrate His kingdom with us!! He is giving us time to get loving as He has us right! I am so saddened to see how far we are from his original plan!
Our boys are growing up in a world that is anti-Jesus pretty much all over the system we hold high in standard; education, medical, government, media, social media. You see it all over! It breaks my heart hence this post!! We are definitely in a different world then when we were kids! The temptation is to sit in despair but not us! We have Jesus!!! My boys are my world and whatever is going on in it I am going to connect them to the most important being and Spirit they will ever need to arm themselves with against this violent enemy! I won't allow the boys to see violence! My theory is it may be happening elsewhere but not in our home!! By their love, awe and wonder I want these boys to change the world!!! I want them to melt stone hearts, make someone smile just because they are social little butterflies, or have the most joyful smile!! My boys are here to change your view of where hope is!! It's in those little feet and hands that will one day go out into this dark place armed with Jesus and His light!!!
Join me in prayer for all of the recent devastation that has swept over our land yet worry not about the outcome of these boys! They are in GOOD hands! Our Good Good Father will work in their lives!! I can already see it in both of them!! It encourages my mama heart so much when my little guy brings a smile to people because he intentionally finds someone to talk to. Nathan has made so many people smile and laugh in his little life!! This is an answered prayer! Their love for one another is such a blessing to me! I love how Nathan will randomly give Joshy a kiss, show him his toys, help me with things I need to take care of him. He will be a world changer of this I have no doubt, he already is!!!
Joshy is such a precious miracle of calm to my life! Activity level not so much! He's trying to crawl so desperately and is as alert as big brother was! When he smiles there's nothing like it! He is the happiest baby I know!! His laugh sounds like a song of praise I'm not even exaggerating! It sounds like a child that has no fear or concern just a joyful chorus of praise!! His smile medicates my heart!! My kiddos in so many ways show me that we still have hope that our land can be good! Zechariah and I are raising our boys to love all! Are we in agreement that for far to long generations passed down their hate? Not our family! We want the boys to love everyone just as Jesus does!!! As parents we are to train them in the way they should go. The way I want them to go is right to Jesus!!!
So I started this post with expressing my hurt I want to end this post with expressing my hope! Leviticus 26:6 "I will grant peace in the land, and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid." The same God that causes division also brings and desires to bring peace to our land. The truth though is we have to choose Him not our job, home, kids, money or anything else vying for our attention. He alone deserves the praise! He alone medicates our broken hearts! He alone heals our land! Here's another scripture to encourage you there is more then just now! Revelation 21!!!
Read this over several times, close your eyes and just try to visualize it!! "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and earth has passed away, and there was no longer any sea." "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and will live with them, They will be his people, and God himself will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21: 3-4
Can you imagine that?? I am so excited to see this!! I am so excited for the boys to see this!! I cry everyone sees this!! Friends Satan is a losing opponent he is defeated with one breath at the end times!! We Win in The End!!! One day violence will be no more! We will not have to fear for our children's safety, we won't need money, we will be with the one who has been waiting for us all along!! I so can't wait to worship with the saints I can't wait to hear the praise resounding in his Kingdom!! I can't wait to feast at his table with all our loved ones!! But for now as I wait to join eternity I have a mission here. I have two precious boys to teach, model and love to the men that will confidently meet Jesus!!
Let this bring you some much needed encouragement this Monday!!
I love you with ALL my Heart
Tina Martina Putney
Our country and world have undergone such turmoil and I wonder when it will end! I don't want my boys to grow up in a world with Satan winning. There's a scripture that has always challenged me a bit. It's Matthew 10:34 Jesus says he did come to bring peace to the earth but a sword. Reading this I don't really understand because He is the God or reconciliation after all! With the recent violence picking up around the world I wonder about that statement a little more. God is sovereign he does nothing to harm his people but then why that statement? If you read on to verse 37 we find our answer.
God desires everything to be second place to him! He alone is our hope, salvation, strength, security. We can put nothing before him or above him because He alone provides all we need! God is so Holy that we can't even see his face and live! I have seen Jesus many times in visions! Beauty doesn't even come close to describing Him! Only recently has he been able to show me his nail scarred hands. So what do I believe about this? I believe God is groaning for this all to end yet giving us as much time as we need to bring as many people we can to celebrate His kingdom with us!! He is giving us time to get loving as He has us right! I am so saddened to see how far we are from his original plan!
Our boys are growing up in a world that is anti-Jesus pretty much all over the system we hold high in standard; education, medical, government, media, social media. You see it all over! It breaks my heart hence this post!! We are definitely in a different world then when we were kids! The temptation is to sit in despair but not us! We have Jesus!!! My boys are my world and whatever is going on in it I am going to connect them to the most important being and Spirit they will ever need to arm themselves with against this violent enemy! I won't allow the boys to see violence! My theory is it may be happening elsewhere but not in our home!! By their love, awe and wonder I want these boys to change the world!!! I want them to melt stone hearts, make someone smile just because they are social little butterflies, or have the most joyful smile!! My boys are here to change your view of where hope is!! It's in those little feet and hands that will one day go out into this dark place armed with Jesus and His light!!!
Join me in prayer for all of the recent devastation that has swept over our land yet worry not about the outcome of these boys! They are in GOOD hands! Our Good Good Father will work in their lives!! I can already see it in both of them!! It encourages my mama heart so much when my little guy brings a smile to people because he intentionally finds someone to talk to. Nathan has made so many people smile and laugh in his little life!! This is an answered prayer! Their love for one another is such a blessing to me! I love how Nathan will randomly give Joshy a kiss, show him his toys, help me with things I need to take care of him. He will be a world changer of this I have no doubt, he already is!!!
Joshy is such a precious miracle of calm to my life! Activity level not so much! He's trying to crawl so desperately and is as alert as big brother was! When he smiles there's nothing like it! He is the happiest baby I know!! His laugh sounds like a song of praise I'm not even exaggerating! It sounds like a child that has no fear or concern just a joyful chorus of praise!! His smile medicates my heart!! My kiddos in so many ways show me that we still have hope that our land can be good! Zechariah and I are raising our boys to love all! Are we in agreement that for far to long generations passed down their hate? Not our family! We want the boys to love everyone just as Jesus does!!! As parents we are to train them in the way they should go. The way I want them to go is right to Jesus!!!
So I started this post with expressing my hurt I want to end this post with expressing my hope! Leviticus 26:6 "I will grant peace in the land, and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid." The same God that causes division also brings and desires to bring peace to our land. The truth though is we have to choose Him not our job, home, kids, money or anything else vying for our attention. He alone deserves the praise! He alone medicates our broken hearts! He alone heals our land! Here's another scripture to encourage you there is more then just now! Revelation 21!!!
Read this over several times, close your eyes and just try to visualize it!! "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and earth has passed away, and there was no longer any sea." "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and will live with them, They will be his people, and God himself will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21: 3-4
Can you imagine that?? I am so excited to see this!! I am so excited for the boys to see this!! I cry everyone sees this!! Friends Satan is a losing opponent he is defeated with one breath at the end times!! We Win in The End!!! One day violence will be no more! We will not have to fear for our children's safety, we won't need money, we will be with the one who has been waiting for us all along!! I so can't wait to worship with the saints I can't wait to hear the praise resounding in his Kingdom!! I can't wait to feast at his table with all our loved ones!! But for now as I wait to join eternity I have a mission here. I have two precious boys to teach, model and love to the men that will confidently meet Jesus!!
Let this bring you some much needed encouragement this Monday!!
I love you with ALL my Heart
Tina Martina Putney
Sunday, October 1, 2017
She did it for me...
Warning this may ruffle some feathers if you read it, I'm OK with that, because the reaction I just had to what I finally discovered has to be shared. You might want to grab some Kleenex because as I write this I'm sniffling. I have a question for you. What do you think of when you think of God protecting you? Do you know what I think? I think about my dog. This may sound strange to those that don't know my story. To those that you do it's just sad. See God has been so real in my life that when that truth of I will protect and provide for you is challenged I challenge right back! This all happened after a dispute with hubby this morning. To understand a little bit more of why I believe what I do, reason why I reason, live why I do read on.
So a long time ago God audibly spoke to me one day. I as you recall have been diagnosed with PTSD, one day I kept hearing my dog yelping, this just awful scream that pierces my ears. When I began my work with Mom and baby I mentioned my ears alot. I didn't understand why that was significant and I now discovered that the scream in my ears has always been there it just got louder after the birth of my firstborn. Can you imagine living with a scream that is ear piercing and then be alone with a teething crying baby? That was my nightmare for a year! I love my boys! My hard to handle boy keeps me seeking out new options for how to parent out of love not fear! And to be brutally honest the first year of his life was a nightmare for me.
When my dog let out her bladder at home she would get pulled sometimes dragged to the spot so she could smell and see what she did, then she would be hit repeatedly. All I could do was watch. I almost numbed from this but something made me watch and feel her pain. Now I know it was going to be how God would show me his protection. I would hold her and just cry to her "why?" "Why do you do this?' "Why do you let him hurt you?" Being a dog I am not all that sure she understood. Now I see I didn't either. She was a springer spaniel welsh beagle mix. She had black dots on her nose, wavy ears and a tail that we didn't get cut, so one day she was mistaken for a bear!! I hated so much when she did something wrong at times I didn't want to tell him either. Please don't ask who the him is I don't want to point fingers... they know who they are... I felt like I was the reason she was getting ill treated. That actually turned out to be true.
So every time I heard her scream in pain was another time I didn't have to. The scream was not something I could have forgot even if I wanted to. I get why crying has been a trigger now... you may be wondering why am I writing this publicly... I guess I feel that if my story helps just one person see Jesus in my life then it needs to be shared. My intention is not to blame or shame but make Jesus famous!! He is the real hero in my life! The champion and the perfecter of my faith! He has been helping me find my voice!! This is one of the ways he has given me to speak! So I share...
God has always protected me and provided for me, so when this truth is challenged I challenge back. It's so real to me to see God as my protector that I just can't see anything else. He's provided for me so much that worrying is just not a part of my make up anymore. Last week at church I was anxious. Right then and there I prayed for Him to calm my anxiety. Within seconds I was mindful and present in the Sermon and was able to focus and participate. See my theory is when worry arises you pray.
Jesus tells us not to worry and so I feel if God himself is telling me not to worry then I lost my right to. So before worry I pray. It's hard to do when I'm flooded like when my 3 year old runs off and I lose sight of him even for a few seconds, but you will see my knack is to pray more then worry! I want to invite you to this freeing way to live and do faith! I have come to rely and rest in Jesus being who he says he is and doing what he says he'll do. I hope and pray you can join me!
May Jesus bless you this day with every good gift mainly himself!! I hope you understand a little more of why I behave the way I do on certain trigger areas. It's tough living in a minefield in your mind where everything is going just fine then all of a sudden seemingly out of nowhere it blows up in your face!!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
So a long time ago God audibly spoke to me one day. I as you recall have been diagnosed with PTSD, one day I kept hearing my dog yelping, this just awful scream that pierces my ears. When I began my work with Mom and baby I mentioned my ears alot. I didn't understand why that was significant and I now discovered that the scream in my ears has always been there it just got louder after the birth of my firstborn. Can you imagine living with a scream that is ear piercing and then be alone with a teething crying baby? That was my nightmare for a year! I love my boys! My hard to handle boy keeps me seeking out new options for how to parent out of love not fear! And to be brutally honest the first year of his life was a nightmare for me.
When my dog let out her bladder at home she would get pulled sometimes dragged to the spot so she could smell and see what she did, then she would be hit repeatedly. All I could do was watch. I almost numbed from this but something made me watch and feel her pain. Now I know it was going to be how God would show me his protection. I would hold her and just cry to her "why?" "Why do you do this?' "Why do you let him hurt you?" Being a dog I am not all that sure she understood. Now I see I didn't either. She was a springer spaniel welsh beagle mix. She had black dots on her nose, wavy ears and a tail that we didn't get cut, so one day she was mistaken for a bear!! I hated so much when she did something wrong at times I didn't want to tell him either. Please don't ask who the him is I don't want to point fingers... they know who they are... I felt like I was the reason she was getting ill treated. That actually turned out to be true.
So every time I heard her scream in pain was another time I didn't have to. The scream was not something I could have forgot even if I wanted to. I get why crying has been a trigger now... you may be wondering why am I writing this publicly... I guess I feel that if my story helps just one person see Jesus in my life then it needs to be shared. My intention is not to blame or shame but make Jesus famous!! He is the real hero in my life! The champion and the perfecter of my faith! He has been helping me find my voice!! This is one of the ways he has given me to speak! So I share...
God has always protected me and provided for me, so when this truth is challenged I challenge back. It's so real to me to see God as my protector that I just can't see anything else. He's provided for me so much that worrying is just not a part of my make up anymore. Last week at church I was anxious. Right then and there I prayed for Him to calm my anxiety. Within seconds I was mindful and present in the Sermon and was able to focus and participate. See my theory is when worry arises you pray.
Jesus tells us not to worry and so I feel if God himself is telling me not to worry then I lost my right to. So before worry I pray. It's hard to do when I'm flooded like when my 3 year old runs off and I lose sight of him even for a few seconds, but you will see my knack is to pray more then worry! I want to invite you to this freeing way to live and do faith! I have come to rely and rest in Jesus being who he says he is and doing what he says he'll do. I hope and pray you can join me!
May Jesus bless you this day with every good gift mainly himself!! I hope you understand a little more of why I behave the way I do on certain trigger areas. It's tough living in a minefield in your mind where everything is going just fine then all of a sudden seemingly out of nowhere it blows up in your face!!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Friday, September 15, 2017
When PTSD can actaully be a good thing,,,
Wow!! This is BIG!! This morning I had a conversation that I feel Holy Spirit led! It was an apology that I needed to make a long time ago! Of course the other person did not remember the interaction but I did and it has been on my mind all this time! It keeps playing in my head over and over! I keep hearing and seeing her face and her sweet smile and my offensive tone that follows! That's what PTSD is just a collection of memories or recording basically of an event that just plays over and over in our minds. The crazy thing about my diagnosis is soldiers that have gone to war come home with this!! I have an illness that is so traumatic it's as if I am in a war zone!!
Yesterday I took my boys to the Mall of America on the light rail. Yesterday I didn't see the significance but as I write this post now I see! We walked to the Veteran Medical station. I saw a Veteran sitting on the steps of the house he lived in and I tried to have Nathan say "Thank you for your service!" I ended up being the one (which happens alot)! But as I write this I'm struck by the reality that I am diagnosed with something that Veteran suffers from!! How crazy is that!! So in this particular instance PTSD has been helpful to reconcile a friendship that I have had since college (where the incident took place)
Here's what I'm feeling, I have a mental illness that is as sever as soldiers who go off to war! I could be in those homes! This particular incident has been playing over and over in my mind for years and as of this morning I never felt more at paece with it! I told her I felt "right" like it was a weight on my mind and shoulders all this time! God is so good is He not!! Now just because I am diagnosed with PTSD does it mean that I will be on medication the REST of my life?? NO!! Let me share with you the amazing opportunity that GOD revealed to me right BEFORE my mama left to go back home to Slovenia! Like that week I was being exposed to this amazing opportunity!!
A friend of mine called me about this and to be honest at first I wasn't interested. I have MLM experience before and kind of just gave up after a few months. When she called me with a more successful leader I got really excited! I could ask questions and I was getting answers! One such question was how is this going to affect my medications? They didn't have the answer for me right away but got back to my friend within a day about her cousin that suffers from PTSD!! Enter in Plexus!
Plexus is an amazing health and wellness company! Our products are literally life changing! They get to the root issue not just treat the symptoms! You also may recall that I am a migraine sufferer since I have been consistent with these products I have had little to none! When I have suffered my bounce back was so much faster that same day!!! I am taking what's called the Triplex our Slim, pro bio 5 and bio clense! This isn't about selling if you feel uncomfortable right now! Just sharing MY experiences!
I tried the Slim in a 7 day challenge which we have one happening starting next Monday!! Loved the flavor and then signed up under my friend that week! What I had no idea I would experience is the end to taking my medications!
I just met with my psychiatrist recently and told her about what I've been doing she gave me the green light to continue to take my products and didn't encourage medication!! You guys this is not normal!!! People diagnosed with mental health do no get off thier medication a year later!!! This is nothing but a miracle!! I've got things he wants me to do here and suffering through side effects is not a part of God's plan for my life!!! Here's another blessing that has come my way!
My program that I graduated from called me to invite me to an incredible opportunity! They are participating in the Lullaby Project! Carnegie Hall performers are interested in our stories! We then make lullabies for our babies!! They thought of me right away!!! Once again I see God is fulfilling a prophecy spoken over me during the most difficult season of my life! She said that I will be a light to the mental health community and that has been my prayer since my journey began!!
See God knows exactly what we need I truly believe that! He knows when we need community, better health, step into our calling. It's all in his PERFECT timing!! I can't really see all of these blessings in my life now and not remember where we were just 2 years ago. We are coming up on the two year anniversary of the hardest weekend of our lives! Our beautiful 3 year old now was removed from our care. For a young marriage I really am not sure what harder trial we can be put through then this!! Outside of this all I can think of is miscarraige, still birth, severe disability!
We needed to go through that to come to where we are. No it wasn't pleasant it wasn't easy and it was necassary! Here we are two years later as a family of four! How can we know a story like mine and doubt the existence of God!!!
I love you with all my heart!
Tina Martina Putney
Yesterday I took my boys to the Mall of America on the light rail. Yesterday I didn't see the significance but as I write this post now I see! We walked to the Veteran Medical station. I saw a Veteran sitting on the steps of the house he lived in and I tried to have Nathan say "Thank you for your service!" I ended up being the one (which happens alot)! But as I write this I'm struck by the reality that I am diagnosed with something that Veteran suffers from!! How crazy is that!! So in this particular instance PTSD has been helpful to reconcile a friendship that I have had since college (where the incident took place)
Here's what I'm feeling, I have a mental illness that is as sever as soldiers who go off to war! I could be in those homes! This particular incident has been playing over and over in my mind for years and as of this morning I never felt more at paece with it! I told her I felt "right" like it was a weight on my mind and shoulders all this time! God is so good is He not!! Now just because I am diagnosed with PTSD does it mean that I will be on medication the REST of my life?? NO!! Let me share with you the amazing opportunity that GOD revealed to me right BEFORE my mama left to go back home to Slovenia! Like that week I was being exposed to this amazing opportunity!!
A friend of mine called me about this and to be honest at first I wasn't interested. I have MLM experience before and kind of just gave up after a few months. When she called me with a more successful leader I got really excited! I could ask questions and I was getting answers! One such question was how is this going to affect my medications? They didn't have the answer for me right away but got back to my friend within a day about her cousin that suffers from PTSD!! Enter in Plexus!
Plexus is an amazing health and wellness company! Our products are literally life changing! They get to the root issue not just treat the symptoms! You also may recall that I am a migraine sufferer since I have been consistent with these products I have had little to none! When I have suffered my bounce back was so much faster that same day!!! I am taking what's called the Triplex our Slim, pro bio 5 and bio clense! This isn't about selling if you feel uncomfortable right now! Just sharing MY experiences!
I tried the Slim in a 7 day challenge which we have one happening starting next Monday!! Loved the flavor and then signed up under my friend that week! What I had no idea I would experience is the end to taking my medications!
I just met with my psychiatrist recently and told her about what I've been doing she gave me the green light to continue to take my products and didn't encourage medication!! You guys this is not normal!!! People diagnosed with mental health do no get off thier medication a year later!!! This is nothing but a miracle!! I've got things he wants me to do here and suffering through side effects is not a part of God's plan for my life!!! Here's another blessing that has come my way!
My program that I graduated from called me to invite me to an incredible opportunity! They are participating in the Lullaby Project! Carnegie Hall performers are interested in our stories! We then make lullabies for our babies!! They thought of me right away!!! Once again I see God is fulfilling a prophecy spoken over me during the most difficult season of my life! She said that I will be a light to the mental health community and that has been my prayer since my journey began!!
See God knows exactly what we need I truly believe that! He knows when we need community, better health, step into our calling. It's all in his PERFECT timing!! I can't really see all of these blessings in my life now and not remember where we were just 2 years ago. We are coming up on the two year anniversary of the hardest weekend of our lives! Our beautiful 3 year old now was removed from our care. For a young marriage I really am not sure what harder trial we can be put through then this!! Outside of this all I can think of is miscarraige, still birth, severe disability!
We needed to go through that to come to where we are. No it wasn't pleasant it wasn't easy and it was necassary! Here we are two years later as a family of four! How can we know a story like mine and doubt the existence of God!!!
I love you with all my heart!
Tina Martina Putney
Friday, August 11, 2017
Adopted for His great plan!
1 Samuel 15-16 got me as I was in the waiting room in the hospital. A very good friend of mine had to have something surgically removed. The character of David has always been close and dear to my heart! I spent the first summer of Zechariah's and my relationship in a Beth Moore bible study learning about him. God's goodness to David never ceases to comfort my weary heart!
In 1 Samuel 15 God rejects Saul as King over Israel. Saul took matters info his own hands and decided to sacrafice the Amalekites livestock. On untrained eyes Saul seems to have obeyed God and even maybe honored him. He was thinking of making a sacrafice as was the Israelite custom to honor God. To seasoned Samuel though it was quite a different story. God told Saul to destroy the Amalekites completely meaning everything! God must have known something we didn't because it's hard for me to gulp that down such a loving Father would order the entire destruction of a people, wicked people. His plan all along was to adopt the Israelites as His own! He had to use extreme measures because they were in such extreme measures.
A few times I caught a word that helped me to see Saul's fatal mistake. Look with me at 1 Samuel 15. Saul uses the word your. As in your God not mine! How sad that the first King of Israel would feel and treat such a loving Father that way. His own dad didn't see much of him as he was hiding behind garbage shortly after becoming king. It was a lot of responsibiltiy! It just doesn't make sense to me that Saul thought he could take on the terrain himself without God's blessing and guidance. Then I remember something, that was me two years ago!
I wanted to get the mothering part of my journey so badly right that I put alot of pressure on myself to get everything right. It all crumbled though when I didn't involve God in the journey. It was a journey I never needed to embark on. But sometimes I'm as stubborn as an ox and lessons have to be learned painfully. So here we are the first king of Israel rejects God as his King! How tragic!! To grieve God's heart is something I never want to do. Then I remember He sent Jesus because I already have we all have!
Then we come to my favorite part in the story! Samuel annoints David as King! Before that though some important and painful things to note. Jesse David's dad brought all 7 sons to Samuel for annionting and Samuel did not choose any of them because their hearts were not in the right place! Then David is mentioned sadly you can hear the dissapointment in his father's voice concerning David to Samuel. He's just out with the sheep essentially you don't want him sometimes I don't either! Ouch much? I'm not sure of a more painful feeling than being disowned by your own family. Regardless of how Jesse felt about David God saw his worth and a future man after his own heart and had him annointed King! Do you catch God's goodness? When our family or friends find no worth in us God takes us in as His own because that is what we are, His children!
So how do I feel God's goodness waiting in the hospital to hear the prognosis of my dear friend? Or when I have a teething baby and screaming toddler? Or a hubby who sometimes doesn't understand? I remember that no matter what He adopted me for His plans! I'm here to do His work not the other way around! When we are rejected we become accepted, when we are forgotten we are remembered, when we have no one to talk to God prompts us to read His love letter to us, His word! I don't know about you but that just brings tears to my eyes!! God loves us so much that he would be willing to look foolish, crazy, misunderstood, misquoted, dishonored all to bring me and you home! Let that resonate in your hearts today as it will in mine!
Love you with all my heart!
Tina Martina Putney
In 1 Samuel 15 God rejects Saul as King over Israel. Saul took matters info his own hands and decided to sacrafice the Amalekites livestock. On untrained eyes Saul seems to have obeyed God and even maybe honored him. He was thinking of making a sacrafice as was the Israelite custom to honor God. To seasoned Samuel though it was quite a different story. God told Saul to destroy the Amalekites completely meaning everything! God must have known something we didn't because it's hard for me to gulp that down such a loving Father would order the entire destruction of a people, wicked people. His plan all along was to adopt the Israelites as His own! He had to use extreme measures because they were in such extreme measures.
A few times I caught a word that helped me to see Saul's fatal mistake. Look with me at 1 Samuel 15. Saul uses the word your. As in your God not mine! How sad that the first King of Israel would feel and treat such a loving Father that way. His own dad didn't see much of him as he was hiding behind garbage shortly after becoming king. It was a lot of responsibiltiy! It just doesn't make sense to me that Saul thought he could take on the terrain himself without God's blessing and guidance. Then I remember something, that was me two years ago!
I wanted to get the mothering part of my journey so badly right that I put alot of pressure on myself to get everything right. It all crumbled though when I didn't involve God in the journey. It was a journey I never needed to embark on. But sometimes I'm as stubborn as an ox and lessons have to be learned painfully. So here we are the first king of Israel rejects God as his King! How tragic!! To grieve God's heart is something I never want to do. Then I remember He sent Jesus because I already have we all have!
Then we come to my favorite part in the story! Samuel annoints David as King! Before that though some important and painful things to note. Jesse David's dad brought all 7 sons to Samuel for annionting and Samuel did not choose any of them because their hearts were not in the right place! Then David is mentioned sadly you can hear the dissapointment in his father's voice concerning David to Samuel. He's just out with the sheep essentially you don't want him sometimes I don't either! Ouch much? I'm not sure of a more painful feeling than being disowned by your own family. Regardless of how Jesse felt about David God saw his worth and a future man after his own heart and had him annointed King! Do you catch God's goodness? When our family or friends find no worth in us God takes us in as His own because that is what we are, His children!
So how do I feel God's goodness waiting in the hospital to hear the prognosis of my dear friend? Or when I have a teething baby and screaming toddler? Or a hubby who sometimes doesn't understand? I remember that no matter what He adopted me for His plans! I'm here to do His work not the other way around! When we are rejected we become accepted, when we are forgotten we are remembered, when we have no one to talk to God prompts us to read His love letter to us, His word! I don't know about you but that just brings tears to my eyes!! God loves us so much that he would be willing to look foolish, crazy, misunderstood, misquoted, dishonored all to bring me and you home! Let that resonate in your hearts today as it will in mine!
Love you with all my heart!
Tina Martina Putney
Thursday, August 3, 2017
I need to apologize... follow up post
Prompted by the Holy Spirit I need to apologize to you. I wrote a blog called Seeing the old me a while back. It was about giving encouragement to struggling mamas by telling them "You go this!" While my intentions were good and well meaning I was actually getting in the way of the True Gospel of Jesus.
Nowhere in the Bible does it ever say that we have this mothering thing on our own! In fact everyone in Scripture had to depend on God. It's no different than us! God gives us our very breath, all the many blessings, health, protection, love and immeasurable grace and yet God does not give us the freedom to "have it" why would he need him so desperately if we could do it all ourselves?
In many ways this has been a challenging week. Joshua's dedication was Sunday, we had a big gathering for that! It was a beautiful ceremony and was happy with all our support. There was a difficult moment in there which I really didn't process until the next day. Tuesday we took mama to the airport she is already safely back in Slovenia. With big boy turning 3 a lot of reminders of our really rough season have surfaced. It's really hard to know where we were. Yet the grace is how far we've come! If you saw me today with my kiddos it would shock you if I told you Nathan's first year was the greatest struggle of my life!
In every part of our journey Jesus never left us to figure everything out. We prayed and pleaded for him to plead our case. Reality set in when we were granted our son back home! I may have done the hard work and Jesus did everything else! He made sure we were cared for. This is the reason I am writing an apology. Jesus, (not us) has every person's dreams, desires, calling, and future in the palm of his hands. He alone knows! So next time I see a struggling mama instead of saying you got this I need to point her to Jesus. From now on I will say "Jesus got this!" The truth is he does!! He took this angry mom and with each new revelation is making her into a Gospel Centered mom! I will never not need Jesus! None of us will ever outgrow our need for Jesus! He doesn't make us enough He alone is Enough.
I hope that you can take the next step on becoming a Gospel Centered Mom and release the pressure of being enough. No matter what we think or try to do to be enough for our kiddos we will always fall short because we were never intended to be! Jesus and Jesus alone is Enough! You can this and so much more in Brooke McGlothlin's new book. It's out in stores now! You can also find the link in the blog here!
Nowhere in the Bible does it ever say that we have this mothering thing on our own! In fact everyone in Scripture had to depend on God. It's no different than us! God gives us our very breath, all the many blessings, health, protection, love and immeasurable grace and yet God does not give us the freedom to "have it" why would he need him so desperately if we could do it all ourselves?
In many ways this has been a challenging week. Joshua's dedication was Sunday, we had a big gathering for that! It was a beautiful ceremony and was happy with all our support. There was a difficult moment in there which I really didn't process until the next day. Tuesday we took mama to the airport she is already safely back in Slovenia. With big boy turning 3 a lot of reminders of our really rough season have surfaced. It's really hard to know where we were. Yet the grace is how far we've come! If you saw me today with my kiddos it would shock you if I told you Nathan's first year was the greatest struggle of my life!
In every part of our journey Jesus never left us to figure everything out. We prayed and pleaded for him to plead our case. Reality set in when we were granted our son back home! I may have done the hard work and Jesus did everything else! He made sure we were cared for. This is the reason I am writing an apology. Jesus, (not us) has every person's dreams, desires, calling, and future in the palm of his hands. He alone knows! So next time I see a struggling mama instead of saying you got this I need to point her to Jesus. From now on I will say "Jesus got this!" The truth is he does!! He took this angry mom and with each new revelation is making her into a Gospel Centered mom! I will never not need Jesus! None of us will ever outgrow our need for Jesus! He doesn't make us enough He alone is Enough.
I hope that you can take the next step on becoming a Gospel Centered Mom and release the pressure of being enough. No matter what we think or try to do to be enough for our kiddos we will always fall short because we were never intended to be! Jesus and Jesus alone is Enough! You can this and so much more in Brooke McGlothlin's new book. It's out in stores now! You can also find the link in the blog here!
Found on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3gEO8ky
Found on Ebay: https://ebay.us/96yF8R
So here goes... I'm sorry if I have misrepresented the True Gospel never my intention and I will be very careful to focus on who really is enough!
So here goes... I'm sorry if I have misrepresented the True Gospel never my intention and I will be very careful to focus on who really is enough!
Gospel Centered Mom by Brooke McGlotlin
Found on Amazon https://amzn.to/3gEO8ky
Found on Ebay: https://ebay.us/96yF8R
Tina Martina Putney
Thursday, July 27, 2017
Power in community!
I just have to share how amazing these last two months have been and how I have changed since I signed up to this online community! I was a member of MOB society (currently Million Praying Moms) and have been for a few months now!! I love it!! I have been encouraged, challenged, validated and supported in prayer! The Co-founder literally prayed for my family during a live team prayer!! Through this community I got my hands on a fantastic book! In the last 2 posts I wrote about it! It's Gospel Centered mom the freeing truth of what our kids really need. The author is a mom of two hard to handle boys! Every chapter is filled with such great truth! I feel like I have known the author for years when really I have only known her for months! It's on Preorder now and releases August 1st!! Seriously you need to get this book it's so so good!! It's real, convicting, and easy to get through all things I need!! Why do I share this in a blog? Because I am hoping to reach that one mom who may just about have had enough, I've been there we all have! This book is a resource to good to keep to myself!!
This community is through facebook and I absolutley love it! Moms from all over can freely share thier struggle and victories with our kiddos it's not just for boys! Can I just say how awesome that is! On days where we may not have the words we have a resource right in our phone that to access a community of moms and open ANYTIME! When you bring a community of mamas together and encourage them to pray for thier sons which in my opinion, is the most crucial help, we can provide them there's no telling what good can come out of it!
We are real moms not afraid to be real. This morning a mom shared some struggles she has been having with her sons. I was so encouraged by her vulnerability that I had to message her right away through messenger! I didn't know anything about her besides the fact that she is a fellow mama with boys, that was enough for me. This mama had an avenue and was able to reach out to this community. I so wish I had known about this resource two years ago! Alot of times in mommyhood we feel we are alone and yet there is a community right at our fingertips we can access that shows us the truth of that lie!
The truth is we are not alone NEVER! We are all in this together! We have a redeeming, loving, caring, and a disciplinary Father who will never leave us or forsake us as scripture says! Before Million Praying Moms ago I felt alone! I came to know the greatest community and I couldn't help but share them with you!! Please take some time to look them up it will be so worth your while! I promise! I have realized I am not responible for the outcome of my sons that is God's job and His alone! My job is to fight for them and not against them. Maybe I would have learned this another way down the line and I am so thankful I learned about it now! I can give my boys the power of community because I really feel it!
Thanks for reading! Hope to see you on Million Praying Moms soon!
Website: https://www.millionprayingmoms.com
This community is through facebook and I absolutley love it! Moms from all over can freely share thier struggle and victories with our kiddos it's not just for boys! Can I just say how awesome that is! On days where we may not have the words we have a resource right in our phone that to access a community of moms and open ANYTIME! When you bring a community of mamas together and encourage them to pray for thier sons which in my opinion, is the most crucial help, we can provide them there's no telling what good can come out of it!
We are real moms not afraid to be real. This morning a mom shared some struggles she has been having with her sons. I was so encouraged by her vulnerability that I had to message her right away through messenger! I didn't know anything about her besides the fact that she is a fellow mama with boys, that was enough for me. This mama had an avenue and was able to reach out to this community. I so wish I had known about this resource two years ago! Alot of times in mommyhood we feel we are alone and yet there is a community right at our fingertips we can access that shows us the truth of that lie!
The truth is we are not alone NEVER! We are all in this together! We have a redeeming, loving, caring, and a disciplinary Father who will never leave us or forsake us as scripture says! Before Million Praying Moms ago I felt alone! I came to know the greatest community and I couldn't help but share them with you!! Please take some time to look them up it will be so worth your while! I promise! I have realized I am not responible for the outcome of my sons that is God's job and His alone! My job is to fight for them and not against them. Maybe I would have learned this another way down the line and I am so thankful I learned about it now! I can give my boys the power of community because I really feel it!
Thanks for reading! Hope to see you on Million Praying Moms soon!
Website: https://www.millionprayingmoms.com
You cn also find them on facebook and Instagram
Link for book I mentioned: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/32956367-the-gospel-centered-mom
They also have a podcast as well if that's of interest to you! Just go to the link above! They are on season 7! As I'm writing this I am listening to episode 12.
Love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Tina Martina Putney
Sunday, July 9, 2017
Gospel Centered Mom chapters 2-4
My hope is you will be encouraged by what you read enough to pick up your own copy of this book! I will only share some points with each chapter! First off I identify with the author here because I always wanted to be a mom! I knew I loved working with kids and always had a desire for my own. I also wanted to be a stay at home mom. Life and finances made me work outside of the home for a season and my heart was always being home with my kids! Even though I know I want to be home there are days I wonder if I could/should do something else. It's just the reality of feeling guilty for my hubby having to work two jobs to support our growing family.
I really came into motherhood picturing a great nurser, rocking chair feedings and readings, snuggles galore, that I would be able to stay calm during challenging mothering moments. If you know Nathan he is anything but a rocker! He has always been a mover and shaker! He wanted to get out of that baby phase he wanted get out fast! Part of my struggle I believe came from what looked and often times felt like a dash to my mama dream. I truly had no idea what I was heading for!
PTSD was not a part of my plan for my life. It must have been for Jesus though, because that is what I was diagnosed with after a horrid first year with my son. I have had to partake in Out-patient and inpatient-therapy, marriage counseling, taking medication to help with anxiety and sleep. I have no shame as I write this because it is true, and I feel you need to know someone's truth before you can say how it impacted you. So now that you know my truth, I want to share with you some more truths from the book. There are two truths at the end of every chapter.
I really came into motherhood picturing a great nurser, rocking chair feedings and readings, snuggles galore, that I would be able to stay calm during challenging mothering moments. If you know Nathan he is anything but a rocker! He has always been a mover and shaker! He wanted to get out of that baby phase he wanted get out fast! Part of my struggle I believe came from what looked and often times felt like a dash to my mama dream. I truly had no idea what I was heading for!
PTSD was not a part of my plan for my life. It must have been for Jesus though, because that is what I was diagnosed with after a horrid first year with my son. I have had to partake in Out-patient and inpatient-therapy, marriage counseling, taking medication to help with anxiety and sleep. I have no shame as I write this because it is true, and I feel you need to know someone's truth before you can say how it impacted you. So now that you know my truth, I want to share with you some more truths from the book. There are two truths at the end of every chapter.
Chapter 2 truths struck a great cord in me. The hard truth is "God cares more about His grand plan than your immediate comfort or concerns. On the otherhand the beatiful truth is the creator of the universe has designed your circumstances to highlight the beauty of His perfect strength" (Brooke McGlothlin Gospel Centered Mom) Both of these get a resounding YES from me! Chapter 3 is full of God and bringing him glory (As it should be since this is all about Him anyways!)
I outlined a few pages that struck me personally, but I am going to encourage you to find the book! The hard truth is "We've bought into the lie that we are the main characters in the story of our lives" (Brooke McGlothlin Gospel Centered Mom). True or not? So often we only see what's going around us not the Eternal picture! On the other hand we have "Abandoning the ME gospel frees us to embrace God's great big, time-spanning, all-consuming story, and it's better than anything we could design"(Brooke McGlothlin Gospel Cenered Mom). Doesnt that take the pressure off of us? If you had the chance to plan your life would you? Would you trust in your ability or God's faithfulness proven over and over again? Chapter 4 was another great read. With so many points I want to share!
The hard truth is super relevant to me. It reads "Circumstances, emotions, and personal convictions are unreliable guides for decision making" (Brooke McGlothlin Gospel Centered Mom). Oh how true! It really does matter what I belive that influences my behavior!! I am sure you can say this rings true for you as well! On the other hand the beautiful truth (and it really is beautiful) is "We are made to be loved and to know truth, and together these light the way to freedom and hope" (Brooke McGlothlin Gospel Centered Mom). Jeremiah 29:11 is my go to verse. Plans to bring a future and hope. I pray you have been encouraged and support this great ministry that I am learning so much from!!
I love you with all my heart! May you and your family be blessed!
Tina Martina Putney
Gospel Centered Mom by Brooke McGlothlin
I outlined a few pages that struck me personally, but I am going to encourage you to find the book! The hard truth is "We've bought into the lie that we are the main characters in the story of our lives" (Brooke McGlothlin Gospel Centered Mom). True or not? So often we only see what's going around us not the Eternal picture! On the other hand we have "Abandoning the ME gospel frees us to embrace God's great big, time-spanning, all-consuming story, and it's better than anything we could design"(Brooke McGlothlin Gospel Cenered Mom). Doesnt that take the pressure off of us? If you had the chance to plan your life would you? Would you trust in your ability or God's faithfulness proven over and over again? Chapter 4 was another great read. With so many points I want to share!
The hard truth is super relevant to me. It reads "Circumstances, emotions, and personal convictions are unreliable guides for decision making" (Brooke McGlothlin Gospel Centered Mom). Oh how true! It really does matter what I belive that influences my behavior!! I am sure you can say this rings true for you as well! On the other hand the beautiful truth (and it really is beautiful) is "We are made to be loved and to know truth, and together these light the way to freedom and hope" (Brooke McGlothlin Gospel Centered Mom). Jeremiah 29:11 is my go to verse. Plans to bring a future and hope. I pray you have been encouraged and support this great ministry that I am learning so much from!!
I love you with all my heart! May you and your family be blessed!
Tina Martina Putney
Gospel Centered Mom by Brooke McGlothlin
Found on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3gEO8ky
Found on Ebay: https://ebay.us/96yF8R
Friday, June 16, 2017
I'll ever be enough... And Jesus always is!
I did something tonight that I wish I had done long ago in my mothering journey, I took some "mommy time" The verse that keeps coming to mind is about Jesus being the vine and we are the branches. Over the course of this week this has become so true. Tonight I began a book I am excited to get a hold of soon it's from Brook McGlothlin the Co-founder of Million Praying Moms.
So our little family has expanded recently and being a mother of two is quite the challenge! At any moment either of my boys are sharing how unhappy they are about something in very loud ways! Having a newborn again is medicating to my heart! I love all the baby snuggles and times I'm able to help little Joshua through hiccups, sing him to sleep, rock him, see his beautiful eyes look up at me! There's nothing like seeing a new life right before your eyes! Often times I just catch myself thinking I'm so happy for a second chance at being a boy mom.
So this book I am reading is the Gospel Centered Mom. What does it mean to be Gospel centered? I can't give you the theological definition but what I feel for myself is that it means living as if the gospel really means something to you. If Jesus died for all of my sins and He Did, then how do I live and love like I believe it. No better area to test this out then in motherhood. Can I get an Amen? https://amzn.to/3gEO8ky
When I said I took mommy time I meant I took "Connecting to the Vine time" really. Over my faith walk I feel like God has dropped "downloads" to my spirit. These are the still small voice moments that are far and few between moments in motherhood. Tonight I had to give a time out rather then stew about how angry I was that "it happened again!" I opened up the book and actually for the first time in a while grabbed my bible and read from scripture instead of my phone! I feel like I heard God say do this every time you can and as often as you need meaning in those "I need you Jesus moments" that He will be there. That's what Moses learned as God was sending him to free the Israelite people out of Egypt. In a sense that's what I am learning now.
Doesn't the world kind of seem a little like Egypt? You can't walk down the street or on social media to far and not see some of the enemy at work. I feel like this has been a daily reality in motherhood. Some days are great no tantrums, no hard feedings, everyone seems to be getting along, we are making great memories. The next day it feels like a war zone. Actually this is really not all that different then everyday in my mind with diagnosed PTSD (another blog post maybe...) you know the days I am talking about, before you really are awake you're dealing with a tantrum, baby starts to cry, stress seems to be high, it's almost as if the air is just not there to breathe.
Being able to take a step back has been really helpful to me and tonight I feel like I finally said "Hey God I don't have this, but I know who you are, and who you've been in my life, so I'm coming your way." It wasn't super long but extremely refreshing to sit in the loving arms of Jesus if even just for a moment. This "download" is one I know I was supposed to have received so long ago and I am now in the place emotionally where I can receive it. I want to utilize this method every time and as often as I need. I know that I will never be enough and Jesus always is.
Listen for a second parents out there! We so desperately need Jesus and He waits ever so patiently for us to finally see that. I could have been super angry tonight instead I sensed a nudge to try a different approach. What a beautiful gift it is to have a constant companion, in our darkest moments, is always there. It's easy to miss that and I am really going to be intentional to not miss it. I hope you will too! Don't miss out on your ever present help in Jesus. No burden is to small or big for Him to carry. He loves no matter what, and He delights when we come to him for anything we need!
Praying that you are taking some "Connecting to the Vine time" also!
I love you with all my Heart
Tina Martina Putney
So our little family has expanded recently and being a mother of two is quite the challenge! At any moment either of my boys are sharing how unhappy they are about something in very loud ways! Having a newborn again is medicating to my heart! I love all the baby snuggles and times I'm able to help little Joshua through hiccups, sing him to sleep, rock him, see his beautiful eyes look up at me! There's nothing like seeing a new life right before your eyes! Often times I just catch myself thinking I'm so happy for a second chance at being a boy mom.
So this book I am reading is the Gospel Centered Mom. What does it mean to be Gospel centered? I can't give you the theological definition but what I feel for myself is that it means living as if the gospel really means something to you. If Jesus died for all of my sins and He Did, then how do I live and love like I believe it. No better area to test this out then in motherhood. Can I get an Amen? https://amzn.to/3gEO8ky
When I said I took mommy time I meant I took "Connecting to the Vine time" really. Over my faith walk I feel like God has dropped "downloads" to my spirit. These are the still small voice moments that are far and few between moments in motherhood. Tonight I had to give a time out rather then stew about how angry I was that "it happened again!" I opened up the book and actually for the first time in a while grabbed my bible and read from scripture instead of my phone! I feel like I heard God say do this every time you can and as often as you need meaning in those "I need you Jesus moments" that He will be there. That's what Moses learned as God was sending him to free the Israelite people out of Egypt. In a sense that's what I am learning now.
Doesn't the world kind of seem a little like Egypt? You can't walk down the street or on social media to far and not see some of the enemy at work. I feel like this has been a daily reality in motherhood. Some days are great no tantrums, no hard feedings, everyone seems to be getting along, we are making great memories. The next day it feels like a war zone. Actually this is really not all that different then everyday in my mind with diagnosed PTSD (another blog post maybe...) you know the days I am talking about, before you really are awake you're dealing with a tantrum, baby starts to cry, stress seems to be high, it's almost as if the air is just not there to breathe.
Being able to take a step back has been really helpful to me and tonight I feel like I finally said "Hey God I don't have this, but I know who you are, and who you've been in my life, so I'm coming your way." It wasn't super long but extremely refreshing to sit in the loving arms of Jesus if even just for a moment. This "download" is one I know I was supposed to have received so long ago and I am now in the place emotionally where I can receive it. I want to utilize this method every time and as often as I need. I know that I will never be enough and Jesus always is.
Listen for a second parents out there! We so desperately need Jesus and He waits ever so patiently for us to finally see that. I could have been super angry tonight instead I sensed a nudge to try a different approach. What a beautiful gift it is to have a constant companion, in our darkest moments, is always there. It's easy to miss that and I am really going to be intentional to not miss it. I hope you will too! Don't miss out on your ever present help in Jesus. No burden is to small or big for Him to carry. He loves no matter what, and He delights when we come to him for anything we need!
Praying that you are taking some "Connecting to the Vine time" also!
I love you with all my Heart
Tina Martina Putney
Gospel Centered Mom by Brooke McGlothlin https://amzn.to/3gEO8ky
Thursday, April 27, 2017
Looking ahead...
It's really interesting when a show like Gilmore Girls gets you thinking... (Thanks Hayley for introducing it to me!) I'm watching Rory go off to college and of course thinking about what that could look like for our sweet family. Here's what I came up with...
Last night I had our dear friend over and Nathan and I shared our Wednesday night tradition family fort movie night! It's really not a big deal but absolutely my favorite night of the week! We take our two chairs throw a blanket over them turn on our "campfire" (which is really just a tealight candle) I make a bowl of popcorn and Nathan picks the movie we watch. Last night was the "funny horse" AKA "Tangled" As I sat there with my friend and precious son I couldn't think of a better way to spend our evening! I told Nathan it's something I hope that he passes on to his family one day! I'm most happy and creative when I'm around my kiddo. Please do not think I am saying our life is perfect. We have many challenging days but when I see the many beautiful moments we have been able to create together I know I'm right where I need to be!
So as we extend our beautiful little family I hope to really keep up the intentionality between both of our boys! As mama makes her way to our home and lives yet again in just a few days I also hope to include her on some much needed shared precious experiences! I can't wait for our pajama parties, family fort movie nights and all the immeasurable ways she will be able to help me as I raise my boys! This week my son had a full conversation with me on the phone that made me tear up (despite being 37 weeks pregnant :) I can't believe how fast he has grown in just 2 1/2 years! Last year he was just beginning to talk now he can have full conversations! It's truly amazing!
So thinking ahead... we are at the point of looking for preschools. Hard to believe our little baby boy is going to be three years old in August! I actually am looking forward to this change because I know the most important relationship in his life will still be that to him. Nathan and all our kiddos need us forever in different ways and to different extents but that need will always be there! I can't wait to see what this little guy learns and explores and really sets his mind and heart to. I always say he has a mind of his own and he's going to do some damage out in the world.
What I mean is in the vision of his birth God told me he was going to give Nathan the gift of Evangelizer and speak to many about his name. Anyone that has been around our house for nap time or bed time knows we sing him the same song every time "Jesus Loves me" It's the simplest way we can teach him about how much God loves him and someday my prayer is he turns that around and teaches someone else about that same love!
As much as I would love to keep him little I know the reality is that he needs to grow his wings and take off and fly. As hard as it will be to see him go I will never miss a moment that I won't be ecstatic to open up my arms and welcome him back home! I never want to miss a moment to watch him smile as he runs in for a hug, I never want to miss a moment to let him know he is safe, and I never want to miss a moment where he knows I'm safe to call, text, or just be around. The kind of open relationship we are working to establish is not something I know how to do yet I'm learning each and every single day a little bit more!
I'll keep you posted on our exciting journey along the way but for now I am more than happy to be my little guy's home base thanks to Jesus great love for me!
May you be blessed today though it may be rainy outside maybe your heart can have a bit of light shine through. God is so good! God performs amazing miracles in our lives and it's all because he loves us!
May you know you are truly loved, seen, heard and cherished.
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Last night I had our dear friend over and Nathan and I shared our Wednesday night tradition family fort movie night! It's really not a big deal but absolutely my favorite night of the week! We take our two chairs throw a blanket over them turn on our "campfire" (which is really just a tealight candle) I make a bowl of popcorn and Nathan picks the movie we watch. Last night was the "funny horse" AKA "Tangled" As I sat there with my friend and precious son I couldn't think of a better way to spend our evening! I told Nathan it's something I hope that he passes on to his family one day! I'm most happy and creative when I'm around my kiddo. Please do not think I am saying our life is perfect. We have many challenging days but when I see the many beautiful moments we have been able to create together I know I'm right where I need to be!
So as we extend our beautiful little family I hope to really keep up the intentionality between both of our boys! As mama makes her way to our home and lives yet again in just a few days I also hope to include her on some much needed shared precious experiences! I can't wait for our pajama parties, family fort movie nights and all the immeasurable ways she will be able to help me as I raise my boys! This week my son had a full conversation with me on the phone that made me tear up (despite being 37 weeks pregnant :) I can't believe how fast he has grown in just 2 1/2 years! Last year he was just beginning to talk now he can have full conversations! It's truly amazing!
So thinking ahead... we are at the point of looking for preschools. Hard to believe our little baby boy is going to be three years old in August! I actually am looking forward to this change because I know the most important relationship in his life will still be that to him. Nathan and all our kiddos need us forever in different ways and to different extents but that need will always be there! I can't wait to see what this little guy learns and explores and really sets his mind and heart to. I always say he has a mind of his own and he's going to do some damage out in the world.
What I mean is in the vision of his birth God told me he was going to give Nathan the gift of Evangelizer and speak to many about his name. Anyone that has been around our house for nap time or bed time knows we sing him the same song every time "Jesus Loves me" It's the simplest way we can teach him about how much God loves him and someday my prayer is he turns that around and teaches someone else about that same love!
As much as I would love to keep him little I know the reality is that he needs to grow his wings and take off and fly. As hard as it will be to see him go I will never miss a moment that I won't be ecstatic to open up my arms and welcome him back home! I never want to miss a moment to watch him smile as he runs in for a hug, I never want to miss a moment to let him know he is safe, and I never want to miss a moment where he knows I'm safe to call, text, or just be around. The kind of open relationship we are working to establish is not something I know how to do yet I'm learning each and every single day a little bit more!
I'll keep you posted on our exciting journey along the way but for now I am more than happy to be my little guy's home base thanks to Jesus great love for me!
May you be blessed today though it may be rainy outside maybe your heart can have a bit of light shine through. God is so good! God performs amazing miracles in our lives and it's all because he loves us!
May you know you are truly loved, seen, heard and cherished.
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Saturday, March 25, 2017
Seeing the old me
Before I say anything I want to be clear, I am not passing judgement on this mom. I do not know her situation, I don't even know her name all I know is she is the old me.
I took my son to our favorite coffee shop today for some much needed little people time and out of the house time for mama. As the time during our visit progressed I saw a familiar scene. A mom was trying to get her toddler, who didn't look much older than Nathan, to leave. As toddlers do, this little girl was having none of it! Mom was getting super frustrated and slipping into "reactive mom" quickly. All the while, the little girl was just happy as can be, running around the playroom and not following her mom's stern, "Get over here now!"
My heart broke for both the mom and the little girl. Seeing a dynamic like that at such a young age leads me to think about school age, and teenage years, into adulthood. You see, this was the parent I was. I thought my child was just supposed to listen and obey. Children aren't robots they're not designed to just follow our every command. They are so beautifully and wonderfully made. They have such amazing imaginations, kind compassionate hearts, eyes of wonder and awe that you just simply can't help but get lost in!
There will always be days that are harder then others around here yet my biggest and sincere hope for my sons is that they realize that mom is safe and can stay in control. As I say in prayer at times I didn't start well but I want to end well. When my children leave my home I pray that I equipped them for all I humanly could have equipped them for. I know that anything above that is not in my control and know that God will take care of the rest!
For this mom I hope and pray she has support helping her regulate her emotions and for this little girl I pray she is hearing messages of love, grace and encouragement of her character rather then attacks of it. Today was a good day! My son listened really well to me and didn't cause a big stink when we had to leave, or a friend took his toy, even when the poor guy hit his lip on the bench causing it to bleed! Another reason though and for me the best reason was my son kept coming back to me!
If you have been around my son long enough you know he loves to explore! He loves to run and his imagination is something that keeps a lot of joy in this house. He also likes to "check-in" often times you'll hear him calling daddy or me if I am not around, he'll come and show us his toys. My absolute favorite time is when he invites us into his world. We've done some pretty silly things to be in our son's world, but I find it such a fun place to be!
As we are about to welcome our second precious son into our family I pray this doesn't change! We've done a lot of work to get to this point as a family so from real life experience I can confidently say that it does happen! I love seeing my son be able to go out and come back in. I want you to have the tool that I had shown to me almost two years ago! It's called the circle of security and at any point our children are on one part of this circle. Again today was a good day! I believe my son was showing me that he has getting his needs met by exploring and then coming back in when he wanted to be close. It's a beautiful picture of the love we share with our Father God.
He allows us to fail miserably and doesn't say I told you so, just brushes us off and sends us out again. He waits ever so patiently for the moment we come back in! It's like he is this proud parent watching us take our first steps and then something scares us and we run back in. I want to be this for my boys! I want to be home base. I want them to freely explore their world and when they need extra love or assurance I want them to know I am right there to catch them. I won't always be able to be there but in the moments we get to share together while they are young I don't plan on missing an opportunity to.
I'm giving you permission that if you see me struggling to stay calm to look me right in the eyes and tell this mom her three favorite words, "You Got This" Bet you thought it was I love you huh? You got this, so simple but so profound and so necessary to hear. When we have a screaming toddler, cranky baby to grab and it's just us dealing with it all believe me we don't believe we got this. If you were to look at us and tell us you got this I bet that's all we'd need to be able to think of a game plan. It's when we don't feel we go this we give up trying to be stronger wiser kinder. This is my mission to look at a mom I see struggling and tell her the words that every mother needs to hear "You Got This."
Next time you see this all to familiar scene screaming toddler, or complacent school age kid, crabby baby one single mama trying to manage it all I hope you will join me in telling her "You Got This." Think of it as an random act of kindness that will speak volumes to any mama's heart!
So for any mama's reading this right now let me start YOU GOT THIS! I'm so proud of you for all you do to make your children be the beautiful people they are! They may not show you for a while or maybe even ever and you are a big reason that they are the person they are today. Give yourself ample amounts of grace on those hard days and know they will bounce back and so will you. You will try harder the next day and the day after that because mamas don't quit! And most importantly they need you so once more mama YOU GOT THIS!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
circle of security
I took my son to our favorite coffee shop today for some much needed little people time and out of the house time for mama. As the time during our visit progressed I saw a familiar scene. A mom was trying to get her toddler, who didn't look much older than Nathan, to leave. As toddlers do, this little girl was having none of it! Mom was getting super frustrated and slipping into "reactive mom" quickly. All the while, the little girl was just happy as can be, running around the playroom and not following her mom's stern, "Get over here now!"
My heart broke for both the mom and the little girl. Seeing a dynamic like that at such a young age leads me to think about school age, and teenage years, into adulthood. You see, this was the parent I was. I thought my child was just supposed to listen and obey. Children aren't robots they're not designed to just follow our every command. They are so beautifully and wonderfully made. They have such amazing imaginations, kind compassionate hearts, eyes of wonder and awe that you just simply can't help but get lost in!
There will always be days that are harder then others around here yet my biggest and sincere hope for my sons is that they realize that mom is safe and can stay in control. As I say in prayer at times I didn't start well but I want to end well. When my children leave my home I pray that I equipped them for all I humanly could have equipped them for. I know that anything above that is not in my control and know that God will take care of the rest!
For this mom I hope and pray she has support helping her regulate her emotions and for this little girl I pray she is hearing messages of love, grace and encouragement of her character rather then attacks of it. Today was a good day! My son listened really well to me and didn't cause a big stink when we had to leave, or a friend took his toy, even when the poor guy hit his lip on the bench causing it to bleed! Another reason though and for me the best reason was my son kept coming back to me!
If you have been around my son long enough you know he loves to explore! He loves to run and his imagination is something that keeps a lot of joy in this house. He also likes to "check-in" often times you'll hear him calling daddy or me if I am not around, he'll come and show us his toys. My absolute favorite time is when he invites us into his world. We've done some pretty silly things to be in our son's world, but I find it such a fun place to be!
As we are about to welcome our second precious son into our family I pray this doesn't change! We've done a lot of work to get to this point as a family so from real life experience I can confidently say that it does happen! I love seeing my son be able to go out and come back in. I want you to have the tool that I had shown to me almost two years ago! It's called the circle of security and at any point our children are on one part of this circle. Again today was a good day! I believe my son was showing me that he has getting his needs met by exploring and then coming back in when he wanted to be close. It's a beautiful picture of the love we share with our Father God.
He allows us to fail miserably and doesn't say I told you so, just brushes us off and sends us out again. He waits ever so patiently for the moment we come back in! It's like he is this proud parent watching us take our first steps and then something scares us and we run back in. I want to be this for my boys! I want to be home base. I want them to freely explore their world and when they need extra love or assurance I want them to know I am right there to catch them. I won't always be able to be there but in the moments we get to share together while they are young I don't plan on missing an opportunity to.
I'm giving you permission that if you see me struggling to stay calm to look me right in the eyes and tell this mom her three favorite words, "You Got This" Bet you thought it was I love you huh? You got this, so simple but so profound and so necessary to hear. When we have a screaming toddler, cranky baby to grab and it's just us dealing with it all believe me we don't believe we got this. If you were to look at us and tell us you got this I bet that's all we'd need to be able to think of a game plan. It's when we don't feel we go this we give up trying to be stronger wiser kinder. This is my mission to look at a mom I see struggling and tell her the words that every mother needs to hear "You Got This."
Next time you see this all to familiar scene screaming toddler, or complacent school age kid, crabby baby one single mama trying to manage it all I hope you will join me in telling her "You Got This." Think of it as an random act of kindness that will speak volumes to any mama's heart!
So for any mama's reading this right now let me start YOU GOT THIS! I'm so proud of you for all you do to make your children be the beautiful people they are! They may not show you for a while or maybe even ever and you are a big reason that they are the person they are today. Give yourself ample amounts of grace on those hard days and know they will bounce back and so will you. You will try harder the next day and the day after that because mamas don't quit! And most importantly they need you so once more mama YOU GOT THIS!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
circle of security
Sunday, March 12, 2017
When we don't feel...
Often times we'll hear people say I don't feel... (insert your feeling here) I used to also respond in such ways. If I don't feel something then I must not be it. Let's take happy for instance. I used to think if I'm not smiling then I must not be happy and that if I was then I must feel joy. I'm a very emotional person and there will be times I will be crying but really am joyful. When I am in an intimate time of worship and God speaks something to me that only he can most often I'll be smiling on the outside while tears are streaming down my face as I sing. Why does this matter? If you'll forgive me to say I think we base our decisions on what we feel or don't. I feel stressed so I must be stressed, I feel scared so I must be scared. I don't think I can do this so I will give up before I try. Sound familiar? Yeah this was how I lived too for a long time. Then I realized something about emotions I hadn't before.
They are really important guides to our inner world. They tell us that we have an opinion about something but they don't need to dictate our actions. So being a stay at home mom again is about the most challenging role I have to play. There's days honestly I love it more then anything! Like when our son shares the new words, phrases he's learned, sings songs we sing together, watching him play. Then there are days story time is stressful he runs down the hallway at church and I just can't wait to Sing Jesus Loves me to him and shut the door and bid him off to dreamland.
I suffer with a lot of anxiety. What are they going to think if... what I also see is that half of the things I've worried about never happen. My three biggest prayers for my family is that we are happy safe and healthy. Happy doesn't always mean smiling, safe doesn't always mean avoiding another crisis and healthy doesn't always mean the next trip to the er. There are days my son's joy is evident he's laughing and giggling (two sounds I really adore!) Other days he's not as vocal, active, or adventurous but he's still happy. He is loved by his mommy and daddy and to him that's enough. Being safe isn't a life or death type of deal.
We have a roof over our heads and the protection of God and can rest in that! Health is something we never take for granted. We know there are a lot of families out there that are gearing up for the next doctor visit, chemo treatment, surgery, last goodbye or more joyous to think about first hello's as we are in about 2 months with our second son! My point is that these three prayers are being answered in our lives each day even if we don't feel them!
I know it's hard when you have a screaming toddler in your arms to feel happy or sometimes even safe. Yet the truth is you still are. When that little one soothes and lays their head on your shoulders the joy oversees the unhappy thoughts and feelings you just experienced. God is not punishing you if you have a difficult experience with your spouse, parent or child. It's the natural progression of life here after the fall. Life and feelings are divided up in moments we're not always happy, not always sad, not always mad in any given day we feel any one of these and so many more emotions and they are all ok! Just because we feel something it doesn't mean it's always true. Take a look at what 2 Corinthians 6 (MSG) has to say about this.
These guys had every reason to doubt God's love for them and yet they continued on the path he called them to. They poured their hearts into their work regardless of what response they would receive! God is good and He gives Good gifts to His children. He wants our full undivided attention much more then he wants our half-heart devotion. He is still Good even when we can't explain what he's doing in our lives, He still has the control even if our lives look out of control, even if our fairy tale looks nothing like the landscape we imagined it would be.
We're not always going to sing in the rain, or wallow in self-pity or run scared because our perfect sacrifice stood in the same shoes and yet prevailed and did not cower when he could have. In John's gospel account while he is about to be arrested Jesus has the command. He even arranged the meeting place. Anyone of us would have probably run but even in that moment he took command and requested the disciples would be let go. That's power! That is our example of how we face our fears not hiding behind a safe zone but with boldness and power head on! John 18: 1-14
Jesus felt every emotion we feel yet he rose victorious and is calling us to do the same! As we approach this Easter season I pray with renewed strength you will come to see the power in our Savior. It is because of him and He alone I have the strength and overcoming spirit to rise above all of the I feel this or I just don't feel this way days we experience far too often here! Even when I don't feel loved I know I am, when I don't feel safe I know I am, when I don't feel like a mom (those days come) I know I am.
Thank you Jesus for all you give have given and are continually giving to not only our family but prayerfully yours as well!
Love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
They are really important guides to our inner world. They tell us that we have an opinion about something but they don't need to dictate our actions. So being a stay at home mom again is about the most challenging role I have to play. There's days honestly I love it more then anything! Like when our son shares the new words, phrases he's learned, sings songs we sing together, watching him play. Then there are days story time is stressful he runs down the hallway at church and I just can't wait to Sing Jesus Loves me to him and shut the door and bid him off to dreamland.
I suffer with a lot of anxiety. What are they going to think if... what I also see is that half of the things I've worried about never happen. My three biggest prayers for my family is that we are happy safe and healthy. Happy doesn't always mean smiling, safe doesn't always mean avoiding another crisis and healthy doesn't always mean the next trip to the er. There are days my son's joy is evident he's laughing and giggling (two sounds I really adore!) Other days he's not as vocal, active, or adventurous but he's still happy. He is loved by his mommy and daddy and to him that's enough. Being safe isn't a life or death type of deal.
We have a roof over our heads and the protection of God and can rest in that! Health is something we never take for granted. We know there are a lot of families out there that are gearing up for the next doctor visit, chemo treatment, surgery, last goodbye or more joyous to think about first hello's as we are in about 2 months with our second son! My point is that these three prayers are being answered in our lives each day even if we don't feel them!
I know it's hard when you have a screaming toddler in your arms to feel happy or sometimes even safe. Yet the truth is you still are. When that little one soothes and lays their head on your shoulders the joy oversees the unhappy thoughts and feelings you just experienced. God is not punishing you if you have a difficult experience with your spouse, parent or child. It's the natural progression of life here after the fall. Life and feelings are divided up in moments we're not always happy, not always sad, not always mad in any given day we feel any one of these and so many more emotions and they are all ok! Just because we feel something it doesn't mean it's always true. Take a look at what 2 Corinthians 6 (MSG) has to say about this.
These guys had every reason to doubt God's love for them and yet they continued on the path he called them to. They poured their hearts into their work regardless of what response they would receive! God is good and He gives Good gifts to His children. He wants our full undivided attention much more then he wants our half-heart devotion. He is still Good even when we can't explain what he's doing in our lives, He still has the control even if our lives look out of control, even if our fairy tale looks nothing like the landscape we imagined it would be.
We're not always going to sing in the rain, or wallow in self-pity or run scared because our perfect sacrifice stood in the same shoes and yet prevailed and did not cower when he could have. In John's gospel account while he is about to be arrested Jesus has the command. He even arranged the meeting place. Anyone of us would have probably run but even in that moment he took command and requested the disciples would be let go. That's power! That is our example of how we face our fears not hiding behind a safe zone but with boldness and power head on! John 18: 1-14
Jesus felt every emotion we feel yet he rose victorious and is calling us to do the same! As we approach this Easter season I pray with renewed strength you will come to see the power in our Savior. It is because of him and He alone I have the strength and overcoming spirit to rise above all of the I feel this or I just don't feel this way days we experience far too often here! Even when I don't feel loved I know I am, when I don't feel safe I know I am, when I don't feel like a mom (those days come) I know I am.
Thank you Jesus for all you give have given and are continually giving to not only our family but prayerfully yours as well!
Love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney