It's been a while and I feel like this is important enough to share so here goes! While doing my breaking free bible study I came across a page in my bible that really floored me! First off I want to say Thank you to First Free for allowing me to have served with the youth ministry for two years. I have stepped down for this year but thankfully I was given a student study bible. In a cheesy way it's like I'm still connected to the youth somehow. If you have the NIV version look up proverbs.
In my bible there was a page with character traits both ones to attain and avoid. The book goes through just about every human dilemma. Anger was the first trait on the negative side. I know the bible talks about not letting the sun go down on your anger and all that but this seemed to be more real to me somehow. Seeing it listed as number one trait you want to avoid got me thinking about alot.
I have been an angry person, I'm not proud of it but it's true. I'm learning more and more about the person I want to become and who I want to leave behind. After reading the corresponding scripture I couldn't stop thinking about people in argumentative situations and how I don't want to be like that anymore. I want to be self-controlled not letting my emotions control me. I want to use words that build people up not tear them down. Anger is a very paralyzing emotion to me. I'm thankful to be learning new ways to cope. I'm learning this for the first time. The biggest hindrance to this process will be not being patient enough with myself. I'm a doer I rarely can just sit and be still. Which leads me to my next story to share.
Sometimes God places us in situations we don't want to be used in. Sometimes what seems like a burden to us is actually all part of His grand and glorious design. Lately God has placed me in such positions at the same time He's ever present in all of it. A professional who disclosed she is Christian quoted scripture in a meeting. Be still and know that I am God. Even writing this I'm smiling. She was quoting psalm 46. I smiled at her because I knew what she was saying. The truth is it's really hard to be still and even harder for me to just be. I'm sure I'm not the only one that's felt like this. As I write this a song keeps playing in my head it's beautiful lyrics and touches on the very concept of being still. I encourage you to check it out!
To just be, means to accept myself the way I am, not being where I want to be yet but moving ever so slightly forward with every step of obedience. I must accept myself for the reality of who I am. We all do and I'll be the first to tell you it catches up with you big time if you don't. So I'm learning to just be. For a doer this is torture! They constantly want to be doing something! They define a worthy life by doing something worthy! That was me for the longest time! Still those days threaten and the effect they had is starting to break hold. For the first time in a long time I'm able to just be still and know the He is God and He is good!
I'm not alone, you're not alone, we're not alone. We have a high priest that can sympathize with us as he's been through every heartache and pain ever endured by a man. If I keep my focus on Jesus through this life then I'll be able to walk on the water, think about Peter for a second walking on that water. He knew this was impossible he expected to sink right away when he touched the water but miraculously his feet touched the water and they didn't sink. Phew that could have been embarrassing he may have thought. Then he stood on the water imagine his confidence I'm walking on water!! His mind was screaming to him. Then he saw the lightning and immediately started to sink. If our focus is on anything but Jesus we too will sink. I don't want to sink. When Jesus calls me to get out of the boat I want to step out on that water. How about you?
"Be still and know that I am God!" Psalm 46:10
Be Still and know that I'm here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5PgheXxLqQ
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
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