My view of myself as a mama

Watching Mom's Night Out is always eye opening, and a comic relief. We see parents just like us who do not have it all together! We laugh at the funny parts, tear up at the emotional scenes, and maybe micromanage the mayhem in our minds when the husbands are in charge of the kids. 😆 In two years time, we have put the boys through many transitions. We moved to Wisconsin from Minnesota when my oldest was three and youngest only one. I was afraid they would have been overwhelmed, but my boys are the most resilient people I know! They can move to a different state, a new daycare, preschool, more time with baba and papa, new home, new friends, less city more country and stay quarantined for months at a time!  

Oftentimes I wonder if the boys know I love them or if they love me. I  always tear up when Bones is talking to Allison telling her that God did not make a mistake giving her kiddos the mom he did. It comforts and silences my questions and doubts of God's choice to be my boys mama. Joshy and I were driving back from CollECtive choir one night and I told him “I love you” and his response was “I love you this tall”(pointing to the ceiling in my truck) then he said “I love you so so much!” So... my questions were answered! 🥰 As parents of our little mini us’s we often evaluate how we are doing. We wonder if our kids are getting their needs met, juggling long to-due lists. We beat ourselves up if we overbook our schedules(at least I do).  This move has taught me a lot! 

It taught me to be gracious to myself and family. Tempers and frustration threatens to sabotage a good move but my husband and I kept holding onto Hope and Unity which was our focus that year. I knew that the boys world would change quickly! So I spent a month with them transitioning to Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin! We moved at a slower pace and just took time to be together, much like during Covid. We did a good job letting them discover their new world! With this intentional mindset I can see the boys transitioned a lot faster before mom and dad had to go back to work!

 I have days where fear threatens to take over my peace about the future as we all do, especially after 2020. I have realized I am not afraid anymore! I know both of my boys are in good hands and as a parent that is all I could ever ask for! I know that my marriage will last that we’re side by side and the settles it! We were meant to be world changers!! I prayed daily as much as I could during both pregnancies for both boys to be world changers and always God chooses to start with me!

 I am becoming a legacy changer the generational patterns I saw growing up will not be in my family! Although some days are better then others I am not going to give up. I oftentimes think They’re going to do some damage in this world! "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35(NIV) I want my boys to open doors for people, buy flowers for their special ladies (including mama 😆😍❤️🌹) I would love them to go on weekly date nights, it would be so fun for them to have family fort movie nights with their friends and family. I pray they shine their lights in the darkness. What I desire most though, is that they want God above all else! I want Him to lead them as only He can.

So... it’s time I teach them! I am to model what I want them to display to the world! I am embarking on a very long and exciting journey to be a Certified Parent Coach! I’ll update on the process! I am so looking forward to seeing families lives change through my training and the Holy Spirit leading me! 

 When I pray for transformation He usually starts with me! I know I don’t need to be afraid though some days I still am! (Just being honest here) Joshy’s old daycare center is there because a girl from Madison decided there needed to be quality care in Chippewa Falls! Yet what if she stayed in her comfort zone? What if we did? What if you do? What if Jesus did?

We as Christians are not called to live in our comfort zones we are called to be light in the dark places in the world! "The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not understood it." John 1:5(NIV) That’s what I prayed for my family to become! And by God’s good grace I see it happening now! God has some very exciting things he's calling us to I will share when it starts to come together.

I desire you to be the light shining in the darkness! I yearn for it just as strongly as I do my own family! If we all become less afraid to walk out on the water in the midst of our storm, or be lights shining in the darkness we all could be world changers! We would put a death toll on Satan and all of his evil schemes he has planned! 

We have to stop living afraid, comfortable, powerless, anxious, angry, bitter, impatient, unfaithful, disobedient and live the way Jesus has taught us how to live! As Christians we are the image bearers of Jesus Christ himself let’s make sure we are presenting the best image!

I love you with all my heart

Tina Martina Putney