This is a letter to my son but I am posting it here to give you permission to hold me accountable to this. Many know that our little family went through a tragic season last year. I wrote this May 27, 2016.
My Dearest son,
What I want for you is a life full of God's protection, love, mercy and grace. I want you to know who and who's you are from day 1 to your last. I love you my son and I promise to teach you the most important name you will ever need to know. Even if all you will be able to mutter at times is "Jesus" I want you to be able to comfortably approach his throne no matter what. Life sure looks a lot different now.
Watching you play in the bath tonight was so touching you are a happy boy! We got through a very hard season as a family and when more tough seasons come we'll still get through them as a family. We love you sweet baby boy! No matter what you'll always have my heart.
Before you were born a man told me "I can do boys" I always thought I would be more of a "mommy's girl" kind of mom. Then I saw you in a vision and I knew that I couldn't wait for my "mamas boy!" You are everything God showed me in that vision. The undeniable joy and blessing you bring into our lives is evident. Stay the charming and sweet boy you are baby! I will and have been praying for you as much as I can. Days go by where I don't get to praying (working on getting better at this) but not one will ever pass that you are not in my thoughts and heart.
I love you baby blue eyes
Your forever grateful mama
Saturday, September 24, 2016
Sunday, June 5, 2016
My heart
"It's not fair!" We use this for many reasons justified or not it's kind of a universal belief in our world. You want to know what I think is unfair? Satan stealing God's precious ones! Our youth are constantly bombarded with messages from the evil realm saying they're not good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, valuable enough, smart enough, old enough. Well guess what Satan got some news for you you don't win! God is going to have the final victory and I can't wait!!!
My heart beats and bleeds for the youth. I didn't know this until I was given the privilege to be a youth group leader. I was at a much different stage of my life and not skilled in life that I didn't lead the way I would now. I was told by a youth pastor that not a lot of people are called to the youth in fact most people want nothing to do with middle and high school students. That's just not me!
I can't wait to spend time with our youth! I love the energy they bring! I love getting their help and perspective, I love spending time with my family and youth hanging out! I call them my kids! God carved out my heart for my own kid/s and many many others! You know who you are but know this from the bottom of my heart any youth that I have ever worked with I'm still praying for and with you! I expect great things from you!
So I don't find it remotely fair when such beautiful children are starving, getting hurt, shot at, forced into prostitution, being sold drugs and alcohol. There's a much higher calling for the youth then that! God is calling all youth and their elders in the last days to unite as one! That's just what I am going to focus my attention on! I want every single youth that comes into my path to feel the love of God so much that maybe that encounter leads them to make the right decision.
Ultimately I want as many of our youth rising up for Jesus! I want to see a move of God in our schools, churches, work places, homes, community, and (large scale) world. We so desperately need the youth to rise and those that will lead their effort and be advocates and their voice. Here's a thought, if they are on this Earth then they have a God appointed destiny to fulfill. Don't let anyone stop that!
I once thought youth are just rebellious and don't care what I say. Then I met some that changed my view of youth forever! What I realized just like all of us that the youth just want someone to show them they are loved. I don't think there is a single person that can say they don't want love, or are loved to much they don't need anymore. If you ever hear that you are dealing with a hurting heart. I want to share a vision that is just now coming to pass!
4 years ago I lost a job at a daycare center when I still lived in Wisconsin. The day that happened I saw a vision of me with the youth. I thought I was a youth director but God this week showed me a different role! In the vision my husband and I trade off the baby and I spend the rest of the night with the youth. I didn't know I wanted to work with youth until this vision and ever since I just couldn't wait to. So Zechariah and I have a really exciting opportunity for ministry!
With both our hearts geared and centered toward the youth we are feeling led to provide a safe haven to the youth of North Minneapolis. (Don't worry it's not going to be our house it's too small). We are starting to poke around the area for a coffeehouse that we will remake into a youth hangout! We want to offer both food and entertainment! Right now we are switching off with care for Nathan. I work every other weekend Zechariah is working the other. This confirmed the vision of me trading the baby off to my husband. (Also that I would be married!)
As soon as Zechariah told me about this I felt immense peace and excitement and instantly remembered that vision! God is going to bring this to pass!! Much more important than bringing a vision to pass is the safety and potential life change for the youth!! I can't wait to see what God does!!
At this point we are asking for your prayers! We want to follow God's perfect timing and leading! If he builds it they will come!! If you know of anyplace that would be helpful for this adventure please let us know!! We are so honored and excited to be chosen for this great task and mission! I also always wanted to find a place my kids could grow with I couldn't think of a better opportunity for Nathan to see what church does outside of the church walls! We want to be light in our community and we feel North Minneapolis is in dire need of it! Thank you for all that support our effort! We can't wait to partner with you! I'll keep you posted on our progress! For now I want to share some songs that I feel are a perfect reason to begin this difficult task.
We love you with all our heart!
Tina Martina Putney
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gSugruC1jQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-g4uwQlXKw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEhRucEVzH8
My heart beats and bleeds for the youth. I didn't know this until I was given the privilege to be a youth group leader. I was at a much different stage of my life and not skilled in life that I didn't lead the way I would now. I was told by a youth pastor that not a lot of people are called to the youth in fact most people want nothing to do with middle and high school students. That's just not me!
I can't wait to spend time with our youth! I love the energy they bring! I love getting their help and perspective, I love spending time with my family and youth hanging out! I call them my kids! God carved out my heart for my own kid/s and many many others! You know who you are but know this from the bottom of my heart any youth that I have ever worked with I'm still praying for and with you! I expect great things from you!
So I don't find it remotely fair when such beautiful children are starving, getting hurt, shot at, forced into prostitution, being sold drugs and alcohol. There's a much higher calling for the youth then that! God is calling all youth and their elders in the last days to unite as one! That's just what I am going to focus my attention on! I want every single youth that comes into my path to feel the love of God so much that maybe that encounter leads them to make the right decision.
Ultimately I want as many of our youth rising up for Jesus! I want to see a move of God in our schools, churches, work places, homes, community, and (large scale) world. We so desperately need the youth to rise and those that will lead their effort and be advocates and their voice. Here's a thought, if they are on this Earth then they have a God appointed destiny to fulfill. Don't let anyone stop that!
I once thought youth are just rebellious and don't care what I say. Then I met some that changed my view of youth forever! What I realized just like all of us that the youth just want someone to show them they are loved. I don't think there is a single person that can say they don't want love, or are loved to much they don't need anymore. If you ever hear that you are dealing with a hurting heart. I want to share a vision that is just now coming to pass!
4 years ago I lost a job at a daycare center when I still lived in Wisconsin. The day that happened I saw a vision of me with the youth. I thought I was a youth director but God this week showed me a different role! In the vision my husband and I trade off the baby and I spend the rest of the night with the youth. I didn't know I wanted to work with youth until this vision and ever since I just couldn't wait to. So Zechariah and I have a really exciting opportunity for ministry!
With both our hearts geared and centered toward the youth we are feeling led to provide a safe haven to the youth of North Minneapolis. (Don't worry it's not going to be our house it's too small). We are starting to poke around the area for a coffeehouse that we will remake into a youth hangout! We want to offer both food and entertainment! Right now we are switching off with care for Nathan. I work every other weekend Zechariah is working the other. This confirmed the vision of me trading the baby off to my husband. (Also that I would be married!)
As soon as Zechariah told me about this I felt immense peace and excitement and instantly remembered that vision! God is going to bring this to pass!! Much more important than bringing a vision to pass is the safety and potential life change for the youth!! I can't wait to see what God does!!
At this point we are asking for your prayers! We want to follow God's perfect timing and leading! If he builds it they will come!! If you know of anyplace that would be helpful for this adventure please let us know!! We are so honored and excited to be chosen for this great task and mission! I also always wanted to find a place my kids could grow with I couldn't think of a better opportunity for Nathan to see what church does outside of the church walls! We want to be light in our community and we feel North Minneapolis is in dire need of it! Thank you for all that support our effort! We can't wait to partner with you! I'll keep you posted on our progress! For now I want to share some songs that I feel are a perfect reason to begin this difficult task.
We love you with all our heart!
Tina Martina Putney
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gSugruC1jQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-g4uwQlXKw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEhRucEVzH8
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
The comission of the family...
I love bible studies! I love to learn more practically how to apply the bible to everyday life. Today I was asked a question that I can't help but blog about! How are parents and children like the gospel? The obvious answers are unlimited love and grace but then I came up with a deeper reason. The family unit provides hope to our hurting culture. Of course the enemy wants none of that so he's going to whatever to destroy it! Just read along and think with me if you would.
We watch movies by Darren Wilson that changed my view on alot of things. In the last movie Holy Ghost reborn a very touching scene is displayed. A Navy Seal (yep a Navy Seal) was attending a retreat where the most hurting go to meet with the Holy Spirit and heal the most broken pieces in a man's life. This guy has the most heartbreaking story this staff has ever seen! What strikes me though as I've watched this scene play out is that he still is hurting over not having his parents around. Aren't men supposed to just be tough? That's what I thought too before we had our beautiful and very affectionate son.
No matter how tough anyone is, the most beautiful realization I had was that every single child is born with a longing for their parents. We all want to gain approval and love from our parents. Even those that say they don't if you listen to what they're not saying long enough you hear the cry in their heart to have someone love them and listen. Why is this beautiful? A lot of people are hurt by thier parents? Because the next generation could see a much different life.
Parents are God's most commissioned population. I truly don't know a higher and more important calling then being a parent. We are to teach someone who has no prior knowledge about right and wrong. Of course we're never going to be able to do it perfectly (ever!) this is why it's so important to walk with God everyday because once little ears and hands are in your care you have a sacred commission by the greatest gift giver Himself! Another reason I find this beautiful is that when we fail our children (and we will and do) there is someone more beautiful and loving then we could ever be to repair rifts and restore our children's love and trust.
Ask anyone their story you'll find a common theme parents either were there and were harmful or weren't at all. No matter how hurt a person is though, they will still love and long for thier parents. I think that's what God meant by honor your mother and father. He knows without Him this is completley impossible. We can release our parents from the heavy burden of loving perfectly because as we clearly see it's just not possible without God. Regardless of your beliefs (I'm not trying to step over them) this is something I believe I could get a resounding Yes to. It's ok also it really is, to want your mom and dad. No matter what the story is you've led I want to share some beautiful news!
Jesus and Our Father in Heaven is here for you anytime you need. I get that it's hard sometimes to feel that, but if you want to hear a pretty awesome God story ask me about how I met my mama. Regardless of what your mom did or didn't do Jesus can restore you to what he planned for you to be all along. He'll use anything dogs, people, books, music, even drugs and alcohol to get full access to your heart! He loves you more then your mother and father could ever understand! Honor them because they have been commissioned by God to love you. Release them from the heavy burden of loving you perfectly.
Sons and Daughters of the Most High God look no further then the cross for the proof of his Love for you. Let this be a blessing to you today. If you are a commissioned saint raising little hands and ears I commend you and encourage you to keep up the good work. You have the highest responsibility I know. If you are a grieving child over a life taken from you. First I want to say my heart goes out to you I feel deeply your surrow. Second I want to say don't give up! God still has a glorious plan for your life! If you are a searching and lost child who needs to know the way home look to the cross! No matter what our parents did or didn't do Jesus paid the ultimate price to win you back for eternity!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
We watch movies by Darren Wilson that changed my view on alot of things. In the last movie Holy Ghost reborn a very touching scene is displayed. A Navy Seal (yep a Navy Seal) was attending a retreat where the most hurting go to meet with the Holy Spirit and heal the most broken pieces in a man's life. This guy has the most heartbreaking story this staff has ever seen! What strikes me though as I've watched this scene play out is that he still is hurting over not having his parents around. Aren't men supposed to just be tough? That's what I thought too before we had our beautiful and very affectionate son.
No matter how tough anyone is, the most beautiful realization I had was that every single child is born with a longing for their parents. We all want to gain approval and love from our parents. Even those that say they don't if you listen to what they're not saying long enough you hear the cry in their heart to have someone love them and listen. Why is this beautiful? A lot of people are hurt by thier parents? Because the next generation could see a much different life.
Parents are God's most commissioned population. I truly don't know a higher and more important calling then being a parent. We are to teach someone who has no prior knowledge about right and wrong. Of course we're never going to be able to do it perfectly (ever!) this is why it's so important to walk with God everyday because once little ears and hands are in your care you have a sacred commission by the greatest gift giver Himself! Another reason I find this beautiful is that when we fail our children (and we will and do) there is someone more beautiful and loving then we could ever be to repair rifts and restore our children's love and trust.
Ask anyone their story you'll find a common theme parents either were there and were harmful or weren't at all. No matter how hurt a person is though, they will still love and long for thier parents. I think that's what God meant by honor your mother and father. He knows without Him this is completley impossible. We can release our parents from the heavy burden of loving perfectly because as we clearly see it's just not possible without God. Regardless of your beliefs (I'm not trying to step over them) this is something I believe I could get a resounding Yes to. It's ok also it really is, to want your mom and dad. No matter what the story is you've led I want to share some beautiful news!
Jesus and Our Father in Heaven is here for you anytime you need. I get that it's hard sometimes to feel that, but if you want to hear a pretty awesome God story ask me about how I met my mama. Regardless of what your mom did or didn't do Jesus can restore you to what he planned for you to be all along. He'll use anything dogs, people, books, music, even drugs and alcohol to get full access to your heart! He loves you more then your mother and father could ever understand! Honor them because they have been commissioned by God to love you. Release them from the heavy burden of loving you perfectly.
Sons and Daughters of the Most High God look no further then the cross for the proof of his Love for you. Let this be a blessing to you today. If you are a commissioned saint raising little hands and ears I commend you and encourage you to keep up the good work. You have the highest responsibility I know. If you are a grieving child over a life taken from you. First I want to say my heart goes out to you I feel deeply your surrow. Second I want to say don't give up! God still has a glorious plan for your life! If you are a searching and lost child who needs to know the way home look to the cross! No matter what our parents did or didn't do Jesus paid the ultimate price to win you back for eternity!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Favor
Since my hubby was brave enough to share his heart I thought I'd follow his lead! I used to think grace was the coolest characteristic of God. I still do and I also attributed a love and passion for favor. They may look like the same on the surface yet I have experienced a deeper reality of it in my life. Allow me to explain.
Grace is receiving something you don't deserve. The highest gift of course is our salvation, on a much lesser scale there's financial provision, occupational provision, social provision. All these are evidence that God loves us. Favor on the other hand is allowing yourself to take a step back as you receive these blessings and know that God is fighting for you.
My mama has lived with us for a month and a half this time around. We've had such beautiful, challenging, difficult moments that could have only come from God's favor on us. We met 6 years ago. In that time we have made an effort to remain in each others lives. The very fact that we have a relationship as close as we do is totally God's favor. He wants us to be in close relationship. I took my mama to a Slovenian meeting yesterday. It was so beautiful to see and hear her respond to our culture. This was all made possible because of God's favor! She got to be the grandma she's always wanted to be while also becoming the mother she never was allowed to be. Grace is beautiful and I also am growing found of God's favor.
I just got hired for a job that I in retrospect should not have received. Before hand I prayed that God would just be God and do what only he could do. Prayer was answered in a large way! I not only will be working with a population that is my heart and desire I also will be receiving an assistant position leading into summer! My new supervisor told me I had a lot to offer. That a complete stranger could see that in me has God's favor written all over it! One more example of how God's favor has revealed itself to me is through a continued relationship!
Last night at our church we had a huge youth fundraiser called Terrace on Chicago! It's my favorite event to attend because it's all driven by the youth of our church! I am so happy to see them in action all dressed up and serving their church! We really do have spectacular students! I was at work and couldn't attend. One of my youth that we have pretty much adopted as our daughter packed me a dinner. I wasn't even there and she was thinking about me! I was so touched by this beautiful gesture.
Here's the crazy thing about all this. This has become almost "normal" in my life. I've been bestowed with blessings so large from God that sometimes I tear up just thinking about it. See grace is the assurance God loves you and favor is how he Shows it! I'd always say to Zechariah earlier in our marriage "prove it." Over the course of our marriage I would say my husband has done a fabulous job of "proving it" to me. My not so good at planning hubby has become quite the impressive one to think ahead of a different cultural themed date every month! Our marriage has went through a very trying time and we have come out from that a stronger couple and for that I thank God every single day!
Favor is so real in my life that I can listen to other stories and know that is not how God works in everyone's lives. Moms out there struggle everyday and no one knows it. I was that mom. Now I see other moms struggling and I want to give them hope that God does work miracles. He did so miraculously work in my life! I am the mom I always wanted to be! I love deeply and forgive quickly. None of this at all is possible without God's favor.
I plan on sharing God's story in my life for the rest of my life! I plan on giving people hope when there is none right in front of them, I plan on loving the daylights out of my family, I plan on overlooking a person's flaws as God has so clearly overlooked mine, I plan on becoming more and more of God's precious baby girl with each passing breath, I plan on living by the phrase this too shall pass. As I am learning with emotions so are seasons, events, days, moments, they are all temporary. God's favor however is forever! Look at David if you need any more proof! That man had God's complete assurance that his throne would always have an heir. That promise was more than fulfilled through Jesus Christ!
The next time you recieve something you don't deserve I challenge you to think if it was grace or favor. You might be surprised by how active God really is in your life right now. I'm learning how active he is working in my life everyday. I hope and pray that you may join me!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Grace is receiving something you don't deserve. The highest gift of course is our salvation, on a much lesser scale there's financial provision, occupational provision, social provision. All these are evidence that God loves us. Favor on the other hand is allowing yourself to take a step back as you receive these blessings and know that God is fighting for you.
My mama has lived with us for a month and a half this time around. We've had such beautiful, challenging, difficult moments that could have only come from God's favor on us. We met 6 years ago. In that time we have made an effort to remain in each others lives. The very fact that we have a relationship as close as we do is totally God's favor. He wants us to be in close relationship. I took my mama to a Slovenian meeting yesterday. It was so beautiful to see and hear her respond to our culture. This was all made possible because of God's favor! She got to be the grandma she's always wanted to be while also becoming the mother she never was allowed to be. Grace is beautiful and I also am growing found of God's favor.
I just got hired for a job that I in retrospect should not have received. Before hand I prayed that God would just be God and do what only he could do. Prayer was answered in a large way! I not only will be working with a population that is my heart and desire I also will be receiving an assistant position leading into summer! My new supervisor told me I had a lot to offer. That a complete stranger could see that in me has God's favor written all over it! One more example of how God's favor has revealed itself to me is through a continued relationship!
Last night at our church we had a huge youth fundraiser called Terrace on Chicago! It's my favorite event to attend because it's all driven by the youth of our church! I am so happy to see them in action all dressed up and serving their church! We really do have spectacular students! I was at work and couldn't attend. One of my youth that we have pretty much adopted as our daughter packed me a dinner. I wasn't even there and she was thinking about me! I was so touched by this beautiful gesture.
Here's the crazy thing about all this. This has become almost "normal" in my life. I've been bestowed with blessings so large from God that sometimes I tear up just thinking about it. See grace is the assurance God loves you and favor is how he Shows it! I'd always say to Zechariah earlier in our marriage "prove it." Over the course of our marriage I would say my husband has done a fabulous job of "proving it" to me. My not so good at planning hubby has become quite the impressive one to think ahead of a different cultural themed date every month! Our marriage has went through a very trying time and we have come out from that a stronger couple and for that I thank God every single day!
Favor is so real in my life that I can listen to other stories and know that is not how God works in everyone's lives. Moms out there struggle everyday and no one knows it. I was that mom. Now I see other moms struggling and I want to give them hope that God does work miracles. He did so miraculously work in my life! I am the mom I always wanted to be! I love deeply and forgive quickly. None of this at all is possible without God's favor.
I plan on sharing God's story in my life for the rest of my life! I plan on giving people hope when there is none right in front of them, I plan on loving the daylights out of my family, I plan on overlooking a person's flaws as God has so clearly overlooked mine, I plan on becoming more and more of God's precious baby girl with each passing breath, I plan on living by the phrase this too shall pass. As I am learning with emotions so are seasons, events, days, moments, they are all temporary. God's favor however is forever! Look at David if you need any more proof! That man had God's complete assurance that his throne would always have an heir. That promise was more than fulfilled through Jesus Christ!
The next time you recieve something you don't deserve I challenge you to think if it was grace or favor. You might be surprised by how active God really is in your life right now. I'm learning how active he is working in my life everyday. I hope and pray that you may join me!
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Being Chosen
So this has been an emotional week and it's really good! Last week was really dull and I found it really hard to want to do anything. On Saturday I asked God to refresh me and just give me a week where I am in His presence. When you seek you will find! If you have been around me long enough something you'll pick up really quickly on is that I'm a doer. I'm constantly moving and jumping to the next thing. That was not me last week. I cried after folding a load of laundry. I told my hubby that I was afraid of my own shadow. Pathetic yes but true last week. Needless to say this week is 100% better!
I had a session with my individual therapist at Chrysalis and Tubman on Mondays. I participated in a 12 month program called DBT - Dialectical Behavior Therapy. I learned how to address my emotions and learned different skills to use as I processed them. They gave me a roadmap to what I could do to help get back into my window of tolerance. It's therapy where I learned mindfulness, emotion regulation, self soothing skills. For the first time in my life I was able feel all my emotions freely. For a long time I thought anger was a sin. What I didn't understand was that it's just an emotion, it's the aggression that can become the sin, or in my case reaction. So I always felt really guilty for feeling angry and at the same time. I knew it's just what I was feeling at the time and that is O.K.
Tuesday I had a moment where I could have been stuck in that rut of not wanting to do anything again but I threw worship music on and it was quickly gone. Soon I was worshiping and loving again. So today I learned that I am chosen. This isn't a pride thing you are too! In my life 3 pursuits have taken place. The most important is God, second my mama and lastly straight from a promise from God was my third pursuit Zechariah! Over the course of my life God continues to remind me of these pursuits because I often times feel alone especially as a stay-at-home-mom. He did something even greater last night.
Nathan was with our neighbors for the day yesterday I saw him and immediately got excited. I asked our neighbor to see him and he looked at me smiled immediately and stretched his little arms out for me! These past few days have been so wonderful but that one has to be my favorite! There's no greater smile that I know then Nathan's. It's so joyful so full of life and I'm so blessed and honored to see it! My son chose me! He chose to come and get cuddles! My heart was overflowing from that precious exchange. Being a mother is seriously the greatest blessing and challenge! It brings me so much peace seeing him happy safe and healthy, my three prayer requests since I was pregnant! God wasn't done yet. He had more blessings in store!
Our family is going to blessed abundantly this Christmas season through unexpected ways. Seeing God's provision in our lives is so amazing! Ending out the night at a house church Zechariah and I attended during our engagement and onward. We have such amazing people in our lives! Last night was about revival. It starts with us, it starts with a few and spreads because where the Spirit of the Lord is how can it be contained!! So I got prayed over and received the spirit of prayer and I even was able to be an encouragement! Once again God showed me I was chosen to receive those gifts!
In my rough days and weeks I need to cling to the truth. It is that I have been bought with a precious price. We all have been. The enemy loves to play with our minds and when his arrows attack we have to go to God. I'm not saying this only because I'm Christian. I'm saying this because in my experience there is no other way! Healing is found in Christ alone.
Let go of any hurt that hinders your relationship with God, I have. Instead of emptiness he met me with fullness. He can do that for you also! Being chosen is a done deal all you have to do is lift your hands confess you need him and your HIS FOREVER! No matter what, no matter where you go He'll always be there. I want this so much for you also!
A prayer for you:
I had a session with my individual therapist at Chrysalis and Tubman on Mondays. I participated in a 12 month program called DBT - Dialectical Behavior Therapy. I learned how to address my emotions and learned different skills to use as I processed them. They gave me a roadmap to what I could do to help get back into my window of tolerance. It's therapy where I learned mindfulness, emotion regulation, self soothing skills. For the first time in my life I was able feel all my emotions freely. For a long time I thought anger was a sin. What I didn't understand was that it's just an emotion, it's the aggression that can become the sin, or in my case reaction. So I always felt really guilty for feeling angry and at the same time. I knew it's just what I was feeling at the time and that is O.K.
Tuesday I had a moment where I could have been stuck in that rut of not wanting to do anything again but I threw worship music on and it was quickly gone. Soon I was worshiping and loving again. So today I learned that I am chosen. This isn't a pride thing you are too! In my life 3 pursuits have taken place. The most important is God, second my mama and lastly straight from a promise from God was my third pursuit Zechariah! Over the course of my life God continues to remind me of these pursuits because I often times feel alone especially as a stay-at-home-mom. He did something even greater last night.
Nathan was with our neighbors for the day yesterday I saw him and immediately got excited. I asked our neighbor to see him and he looked at me smiled immediately and stretched his little arms out for me! These past few days have been so wonderful but that one has to be my favorite! There's no greater smile that I know then Nathan's. It's so joyful so full of life and I'm so blessed and honored to see it! My son chose me! He chose to come and get cuddles! My heart was overflowing from that precious exchange. Being a mother is seriously the greatest blessing and challenge! It brings me so much peace seeing him happy safe and healthy, my three prayer requests since I was pregnant! God wasn't done yet. He had more blessings in store!
Our family is going to blessed abundantly this Christmas season through unexpected ways. Seeing God's provision in our lives is so amazing! Ending out the night at a house church Zechariah and I attended during our engagement and onward. We have such amazing people in our lives! Last night was about revival. It starts with us, it starts with a few and spreads because where the Spirit of the Lord is how can it be contained!! So I got prayed over and received the spirit of prayer and I even was able to be an encouragement! Once again God showed me I was chosen to receive those gifts!
In my rough days and weeks I need to cling to the truth. It is that I have been bought with a precious price. We all have been. The enemy loves to play with our minds and when his arrows attack we have to go to God. I'm not saying this only because I'm Christian. I'm saying this because in my experience there is no other way! Healing is found in Christ alone.
Let go of any hurt that hinders your relationship with God, I have. Instead of emptiness he met me with fullness. He can do that for you also! Being chosen is a done deal all you have to do is lift your hands confess you need him and your HIS FOREVER! No matter what, no matter where you go He'll always be there. I want this so much for you also!
A prayer for you:
Father, I bring before you any hurting soul that needs your refreshing power to sweep away anything that doesn't belong, that gets in the way of their relationship with you, may you be the center of their lives as you have become in mine! May your Grace and Mercy wash away every hint of sin and blot out iniquity. Cleanse this soul from within. May the cross become more then a symbol let it become freedom to be who we are called to be. Let us all with confidence approach the throne of Grace. Let your light penetrate any darkness or crack in a person's heart. Bring reconciliation where there needs to be, forgiveness, action, prayer, and above all may we bring you praise!
Love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
In case you would like to begin with worship I suggest Kari Jobe She's Amazing!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huFra1mnIVE
Love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
In case you would like to begin with worship I suggest Kari Jobe She's Amazing!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huFra1mnIVE
Sunday, October 25, 2015
The answers are all in there...
It's been a while and I feel like this is important enough to share so here goes! While doing my breaking free bible study I came across a page in my bible that really floored me! First off I want to say Thank you to First Free for allowing me to have served with the youth ministry for two years. I have stepped down for this year but thankfully I was given a student study bible. In a cheesy way it's like I'm still connected to the youth somehow. If you have the NIV version look up proverbs.
In my bible there was a page with character traits both ones to attain and avoid. The book goes through just about every human dilemma. Anger was the first trait on the negative side. I know the bible talks about not letting the sun go down on your anger and all that but this seemed to be more real to me somehow. Seeing it listed as number one trait you want to avoid got me thinking about alot.
I have been an angry person, I'm not proud of it but it's true. I'm learning more and more about the person I want to become and who I want to leave behind. After reading the corresponding scripture I couldn't stop thinking about people in argumentative situations and how I don't want to be like that anymore. I want to be self-controlled not letting my emotions control me. I want to use words that build people up not tear them down. Anger is a very paralyzing emotion to me. I'm thankful to be learning new ways to cope. I'm learning this for the first time. The biggest hindrance to this process will be not being patient enough with myself. I'm a doer I rarely can just sit and be still. Which leads me to my next story to share.
Sometimes God places us in situations we don't want to be used in. Sometimes what seems like a burden to us is actually all part of His grand and glorious design. Lately God has placed me in such positions at the same time He's ever present in all of it. A professional who disclosed she is Christian quoted scripture in a meeting. Be still and know that I am God. Even writing this I'm smiling. She was quoting psalm 46. I smiled at her because I knew what she was saying. The truth is it's really hard to be still and even harder for me to just be. I'm sure I'm not the only one that's felt like this. As I write this a song keeps playing in my head it's beautiful lyrics and touches on the very concept of being still. I encourage you to check it out!
To just be, means to accept myself the way I am, not being where I want to be yet but moving ever so slightly forward with every step of obedience. I must accept myself for the reality of who I am. We all do and I'll be the first to tell you it catches up with you big time if you don't. So I'm learning to just be. For a doer this is torture! They constantly want to be doing something! They define a worthy life by doing something worthy! That was me for the longest time! Still those days threaten and the effect they had is starting to break hold. For the first time in a long time I'm able to just be still and know the He is God and He is good!
I'm not alone, you're not alone, we're not alone. We have a high priest that can sympathize with us as he's been through every heartache and pain ever endured by a man. If I keep my focus on Jesus through this life then I'll be able to walk on the water, think about Peter for a second walking on that water. He knew this was impossible he expected to sink right away when he touched the water but miraculously his feet touched the water and they didn't sink. Phew that could have been embarrassing he may have thought. Then he stood on the water imagine his confidence I'm walking on water!! His mind was screaming to him. Then he saw the lightning and immediately started to sink. If our focus is on anything but Jesus we too will sink. I don't want to sink. When Jesus calls me to get out of the boat I want to step out on that water. How about you?
"Be still and know that I am God!" Psalm 46:10
Be Still and know that I'm here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5PgheXxLqQ
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
In my bible there was a page with character traits both ones to attain and avoid. The book goes through just about every human dilemma. Anger was the first trait on the negative side. I know the bible talks about not letting the sun go down on your anger and all that but this seemed to be more real to me somehow. Seeing it listed as number one trait you want to avoid got me thinking about alot.
I have been an angry person, I'm not proud of it but it's true. I'm learning more and more about the person I want to become and who I want to leave behind. After reading the corresponding scripture I couldn't stop thinking about people in argumentative situations and how I don't want to be like that anymore. I want to be self-controlled not letting my emotions control me. I want to use words that build people up not tear them down. Anger is a very paralyzing emotion to me. I'm thankful to be learning new ways to cope. I'm learning this for the first time. The biggest hindrance to this process will be not being patient enough with myself. I'm a doer I rarely can just sit and be still. Which leads me to my next story to share.
Sometimes God places us in situations we don't want to be used in. Sometimes what seems like a burden to us is actually all part of His grand and glorious design. Lately God has placed me in such positions at the same time He's ever present in all of it. A professional who disclosed she is Christian quoted scripture in a meeting. Be still and know that I am God. Even writing this I'm smiling. She was quoting psalm 46. I smiled at her because I knew what she was saying. The truth is it's really hard to be still and even harder for me to just be. I'm sure I'm not the only one that's felt like this. As I write this a song keeps playing in my head it's beautiful lyrics and touches on the very concept of being still. I encourage you to check it out!
To just be, means to accept myself the way I am, not being where I want to be yet but moving ever so slightly forward with every step of obedience. I must accept myself for the reality of who I am. We all do and I'll be the first to tell you it catches up with you big time if you don't. So I'm learning to just be. For a doer this is torture! They constantly want to be doing something! They define a worthy life by doing something worthy! That was me for the longest time! Still those days threaten and the effect they had is starting to break hold. For the first time in a long time I'm able to just be still and know the He is God and He is good!
I'm not alone, you're not alone, we're not alone. We have a high priest that can sympathize with us as he's been through every heartache and pain ever endured by a man. If I keep my focus on Jesus through this life then I'll be able to walk on the water, think about Peter for a second walking on that water. He knew this was impossible he expected to sink right away when he touched the water but miraculously his feet touched the water and they didn't sink. Phew that could have been embarrassing he may have thought. Then he stood on the water imagine his confidence I'm walking on water!! His mind was screaming to him. Then he saw the lightning and immediately started to sink. If our focus is on anything but Jesus we too will sink. I don't want to sink. When Jesus calls me to get out of the boat I want to step out on that water. How about you?
"Be still and know that I am God!" Psalm 46:10
Be Still and know that I'm here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5PgheXxLqQ
I love you with all my heart
Tina Martina Putney
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Oh Beth you've done it again!!!
What makes you beautiful? What makes you feel beautiful? A lot of things make me feel ugly, unclean, just messy but I can't keep to myself what I learned again about what makes me beautiful. It's a lesson I learned a long time ago but it's time for a refresher course in beauty 101.
I am once again a part of a Beth Moore bible study and I absolutely love it!! I'll be honest I haven't picked up the study in a few weeks so I'm still in week 6 but I love what happens when I reconvene!! God shows up mighty through his word! Join me as I take you to Psalm 45!
Imagine the scene with me, it's a wedding party getting ready for their bridegroom! It's rich with beauty and love! Let me just share a few verses.
Verses 8-11 read as such
8"All of your robes are fragrant with myrrh, and aloes, and cassia; from palaces adorned with ivory the music of the strings makes you glad.
9 Daughters of kings are among your honored women; at your right hand is the royal bride in gold in Ophir.
10 Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear:
Forget your people and your father's house.
11 The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." (NIV)
Wow! I'm not sure there's more beautiful and poetic words to describe the love God has for His children especially His Daughters! We live in a really dark time in our history, the moral lines we used to hold dear to are becoming more blurred, government doesn't operate for the people's best interests (sorry for any that feel strongly different about this) I mean in general terms. And what's worse then the image and exploitation of women? How refreshing it is to come across this passage this evening!
I plan to post this is in my son's room as a reminder of who he is and there is nothing he can do to make himself worthy of the King. He already is chosen we all are! Listen, O daughter, I actually read this passage to a friend I was speaking to on the phone I couldn't keep it to my self! So hear your King! He loves you and he sees you! He sees the parts of you you're trying to hide and he reveals them not to shame you but to let Him be glorified through you! He makes us beautiful NOTHING ELSE! Sorry about the caps but I feel the point needs to be pretty boldly stated.
You cannot earn your way into God's heart. He already holds you dear! Another powerful revelation I had today was a moment when I visualized the cross. Anyone who knows me will tell you that's a big deal for me. I was the only person hysterically bawling watching Passion of the Christ once with a group of friends! I think I understand why now, I still find myself nonredeemable. I still can't really believe he did or would do that for me. There's always someone more worthy and Godly then me in my eyes. So the cross is my proof that he went toe to toe with death itself for me a sinner in need of his powerful life changing grace.
Beth was talking about the sprinkling of the blood. Picture this if you can, Jesus hanging on the cross, the crown of thorns on his head, blood dripping down at the foot of the cross. The people most near to the cross would get sprinkled with the blood. "O precious is the flow that makes me white as snow." How I long to be sprinkled by that blood! Then I remember I was!! I am redeemed! We all believers have been redeemed! That blood flows for you and for me! Christ can not be consumed he's come to consume us!
So a month ago a lot of things changed but now a month later I'm seeing a beautiful hope like I didn't ever expect to see! God is in the process of letting our dreams be fulfilled! Zechariah is going to be helping out at his old internship with a radio station in the cities. I may be back to work soon again! I couldn't honestly say I had a great attitude to all this but today changed my perspective on who I am and what makes me beautiful!
Sisters and Daughters of the King you are beautiful, nothing on this earth makes you this it's a supernatural kind of thing. Men you are honorable and respected nothing on this earth makes you this way it also is a supernatural thing. The next time you see an image of a women I want you to remember who you are and respond as such. "Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be renewed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2 Also this will be helpful "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things." Philippians 4:8-9
I will be the first to admit humility is not easy, but it's necessary. So what makes you beautiful? The question isn't what but it becomes who and who indeed...
All my love
Tina Martina Putney
I am once again a part of a Beth Moore bible study and I absolutely love it!! I'll be honest I haven't picked up the study in a few weeks so I'm still in week 6 but I love what happens when I reconvene!! God shows up mighty through his word! Join me as I take you to Psalm 45!
Imagine the scene with me, it's a wedding party getting ready for their bridegroom! It's rich with beauty and love! Let me just share a few verses.
Verses 8-11 read as such
8"All of your robes are fragrant with myrrh, and aloes, and cassia; from palaces adorned with ivory the music of the strings makes you glad.
9 Daughters of kings are among your honored women; at your right hand is the royal bride in gold in Ophir.
10 Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear:
Forget your people and your father's house.
11 The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." (NIV)
Wow! I'm not sure there's more beautiful and poetic words to describe the love God has for His children especially His Daughters! We live in a really dark time in our history, the moral lines we used to hold dear to are becoming more blurred, government doesn't operate for the people's best interests (sorry for any that feel strongly different about this) I mean in general terms. And what's worse then the image and exploitation of women? How refreshing it is to come across this passage this evening!
I plan to post this is in my son's room as a reminder of who he is and there is nothing he can do to make himself worthy of the King. He already is chosen we all are! Listen, O daughter, I actually read this passage to a friend I was speaking to on the phone I couldn't keep it to my self! So hear your King! He loves you and he sees you! He sees the parts of you you're trying to hide and he reveals them not to shame you but to let Him be glorified through you! He makes us beautiful NOTHING ELSE! Sorry about the caps but I feel the point needs to be pretty boldly stated.
You cannot earn your way into God's heart. He already holds you dear! Another powerful revelation I had today was a moment when I visualized the cross. Anyone who knows me will tell you that's a big deal for me. I was the only person hysterically bawling watching Passion of the Christ once with a group of friends! I think I understand why now, I still find myself nonredeemable. I still can't really believe he did or would do that for me. There's always someone more worthy and Godly then me in my eyes. So the cross is my proof that he went toe to toe with death itself for me a sinner in need of his powerful life changing grace.
Beth was talking about the sprinkling of the blood. Picture this if you can, Jesus hanging on the cross, the crown of thorns on his head, blood dripping down at the foot of the cross. The people most near to the cross would get sprinkled with the blood. "O precious is the flow that makes me white as snow." How I long to be sprinkled by that blood! Then I remember I was!! I am redeemed! We all believers have been redeemed! That blood flows for you and for me! Christ can not be consumed he's come to consume us!
So a month ago a lot of things changed but now a month later I'm seeing a beautiful hope like I didn't ever expect to see! God is in the process of letting our dreams be fulfilled! Zechariah is going to be helping out at his old internship with a radio station in the cities. I may be back to work soon again! I couldn't honestly say I had a great attitude to all this but today changed my perspective on who I am and what makes me beautiful!
Sisters and Daughters of the King you are beautiful, nothing on this earth makes you this it's a supernatural kind of thing. Men you are honorable and respected nothing on this earth makes you this way it also is a supernatural thing. The next time you see an image of a women I want you to remember who you are and respond as such. "Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be renewed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2 Also this will be helpful "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things." Philippians 4:8-9
I will be the first to admit humility is not easy, but it's necessary. So what makes you beautiful? The question isn't what but it becomes who and who indeed...
All my love
Tina Martina Putney
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