Lately God's been teaching me about his faithfulness. Honestly the most encouraging thing about scripture to me is that it's filled with promise! Through a series of events in our life God's been bringing back that scripture to my mind. I'd like to share this with you.
So I'm sure you've met our darling baby boy Nathan. If not yet maybe soon! We had to go through some testing with Nathan. He had fluid in his kidney when I was pregnant so we had to follow up after he was born. We went to the 6 week ultrasound and the fluid they found was still there. Next we had to take a VCUG. It's a test that tests where the urine flow is. They have to use a catheter and anyone who's had a catheter knows its not fun at all. I myself had one during labor. It was so bad I was bawling.
So we went to HCMC to get this test done. I had no idea what to expect but went through with it. At first it was ok Nathan even seemed to be enjoying it but then the catheter came in. We were both bawling at this point. So naturally when I was told we had to do this test again I freaked out. My past experience of this was horrid and I wasn't about to go through that again. This time however God had pockets of faithfulness waiting for me.
"Ask anything in my name and it will be done." That's what I kept hearing over the course of these weeks waiting to find out what the next step was. After I was told he had to go in again I heartfelt cried out to God. His response was the above quote. So I asked that they find nothing. He told me "I can't do anything to get you out of the test." As direct as he is to me sometimes I don't really understand what he's saying. I'm learning to give myself grace when I "miss the message" so to speak. I was expecting to find out we had to go through more with this bladder releasing fully problem (which is what HCMC was concerned with) they give it the name post urethral valves. But God had more then results waiting for me.
"All will be well." When he said this I was thinking I know it will be eventually but what about now? During this whole experience God was consistently telling me "All will be well." Again I should have understood what that meant but I didn't. What I thought he was saying was that all will be well eventually but for now I still had to deal with Nathan possibly having something wrong with him.
The greatest news I got was that there was nothing abnormal with Nathan. God was telling me that Nathan was going to be ok RIGHT NOW! I didn't have to wait He had him healed now. I cried out to God and he heard my prayers, he saw my hurting heart, he knew how much this was troubling me and he came through with his faithfulness!
What's the real lesson here? God is always faithful to what he says he will do. If we are to ask anything in his name then what we ask for (assuming it's in his will and timing) will come. God doesn't change, we do. We change when God remains faithful. We change our trust in him when we can see that he is faithful. God gives us pockets of faithfulness.
Scripture is filled with promises! What's most encouraging to me for everyday life is the pockets of faithfulness. God shows his faithfulness in little ways to me, I can't always handle the big ones. With my son having a potential health concern he was very direct but gently worded. He knew a "schooling" of all his promises wouldn't help me feel more confident through this. All I could handle at that time was him drawing on his faithfulness. I could feel he had something good in store, he always does. His direction helped me to see he was working in this circumstance and all I had to do was obey.
God also has been healing an old wound in my heart. I'm afraid of being forgotten. Through visions, dreams, and time with our family God has shown me that I will not be forgotten. When I don't get to spend time with Him he doesn't just leave my side he keeps speaking to me in different ways. I love spending time in scripture but with a close to 4 month old it becomes challenging to find "you" time. No matter what though God is faithful. And with every bit of faithfulness I trust him more. Being forgotten and anxious all the time is not God's will for me. I expected it to be but God wants so much more for me. I know that he wants more for you too!
Whether God heals me completely here from all the pain I've endured in this life or in His kingdom I know that he is faithful. Just when I think I have to figure things out and worry and expect the worst God shows up with his faithfulness. I'm still a working progress but with every pocket of faithfulness I see I trust more and can face another day. I pray that you can see pockets of faithfulness in your life if seeing all the big promises at once is overwhelming. Know that God hears your prayers, cries and pleas. My heart goes out to all those that feel hurt and broken.
I know there's many with broken homes, broken spirits and broken hearts out there tonight may recieving pockets of faithfulness lift you from your circumstance into the loving arms of Father God.
I love you
Tina Martina Putney
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