Weary from the battle but rising!

As Christmas 2014 comes upon us I have learned some powerful revelations about my life and God and the enemy. God's love prevailed in my life and will continue to do so. Jesus can't lose he wins! This week I finished Redeeming love by Francine Rivers and this is what I learned.

Love is something I didn't know about until God intervened. Josephine my spiritual mother showed me Christ. She lived in Chicago Illinois when I was growing up. She left America to go back to Slovenia when I was 16. I never saw her again and didn't know until months later that she passed on. But this week clear as day I saw her house and her sitting across me smiling. Her eyes told me there was something more to her, she could look at me and see who I was, who I am, who I one day would become. This week God told me that she was the most safe part of my childhood. She was. Josephine was more like a grandma then mother but she was the greatest gift of love I've received. Her eyes showed true genuine acceptance and love.   

Everyday we fight a battle. We fight for acceptance and love. I would be sitting with Josephine and see love in her eyes and acceptance then I would look at my dad and see the opposite. I often wondered how she could love and accept me and my own dad didn't. I'm not trying to blame him or make him sound like a monster but I can tell a lot by looking into a person's eyes what they're feeling.

It wasn't Josephine who was looking at me. It was Jesus.On the wall of her kitchen Josephine had a crucifix picture hanging. One day I was in her kitchen and stared at that picture. Jesus eyes were slightly open in the picture not exaggerating or making up this I saw Jesus eyes open and looked right at me. It freaked me out then but now I know what he was saying, I love you and I'm here.

All my life I felt the battle and it's taken its effect on me for a long time. There are days I get so tired of it that I just give in, I start to believe the lies, I let the evil spirits counsel me. What I mean is I've always heard two messages as we all do. On the one side I'm good, clean, new, beautiful, a daughter, beloved, secure, lovable on the other I'm everything oppposite. It's like that scene we see in movies with the angel on one soldier the devil on the other. Sometimes the dark voices overpower the kind voice of Jesus. But he knew this would happen. He knew exactly how I would feel today and he also had it predetermined that I would prevail.

I was talking to my best friend this morning and listening to Valleybrook Church's sermon both very important to my life, relationships and God's word. God picked me out of my darkness and sat me right where I could be now to receive his light. So long ago God knew I would need to hear the counsel of a friend and his word to help me bounce back from what I was feeling.

Throughout the book Angel stops listening to the dark voices and that's what I'm starting also to see in my life. Where before it was so loud now they almost are a whisper. The great grace love and God in my life has become so powerful it's drowning out the enemy. There will never be a ceasefire in this battle but we already have the victory through Jesus Christ!

Something else I came to realize is that the enemy fights with the only weapon he has, hate. He hates us but I wonder if anyone ever stopped to realize why? He doesn't have what we have. Satan has been forever rejected by God. He will never know what it's like to be loved by him even though he at one time did. I say I hate him but when I really think about it I pity him. I pity him for his decision to turn against God and cast himself out forever. He fights like this because he doesn't have anything else.

If you have ever been forgiven and the truth is you have by Jesus you know what it feels like to be loved. No matter what you do, have done, or will continue to do, he loves you. He doesn't see you as a mess but a masterpiece. For so long I thought about God all wrong. Now I can see he's nothing like I have ever known. His love for me is unexplainable. I can't even begin to put it into words how thankful I am for all his blessings in my life!

This Christmas I want to celebrate the journey that God has me on. This earthly journey all it's hardships will someday lead to everlasting love and joy and peace and that is reason for everyone to celebrate!

Merry Christmas to you and your family
I love you!
Tina Martina Putney