The power of words... they can be beautiful!!

So this week God really has been teaching me the power of words! It's so great when people are in your life that pour into you rather than pour out of you! This week was certainly a lot less emotional then last week was and I think my body is calming down. Last week I couldn't stay asleep as soon as I was up for a little bit I stayed up the rest of the night. Let me walk you through my week.

This week in my study was a great one for King David! He displayed so many wonderful and virtuous traits that I hope I can exemplify! David was concerned about God not having a house or dwelling place. He sent Nathan the prophet to him to tell him what he needed David to remember. What was communicated to David is just beautiful! In 2 Samuel 7:1-17 God lets David know the promises he has for him. Imagine being David for a second, from shepherd boy to King of Israel! My what a transformation don't you think! When God transforms a life he doesn't just make it better he makes life great but not easy! God gave David many promises that day that all David was allowed to do in response was worship and thank His Heavenly Father!

David's family rejected him, his brothers despised him when he came to help them the day he beat Goliath. This doesn't disqualify him to be chosen by God it has the exact opposite effect. God accepts David! He promises to keep his throne established forever! That's quite a promise, but it's nothing to God! He loves and accepts us so much and he just wants to have a relationship with us. He wants to be our Father and we His children. I don't think there's anything more beautiful than that! When we experience the Father's love for us we can't help but want to share it! David welcomed Mephibosheth to be his son!

David the King was lonely and wanted to show God's kindness to someone and his heart rested on Mephibosheth! He is Jonathan's son but David adopted him as his very own. He told him that he could always eat at the King's table. In the olden days a lame crippled individual was not seen very highly in society but that didn't disqualify him to King David! It doesn't disqualify us either when we're to weak to stand, to weak to walk, to weary to even praise his name, he loves us so much more! Here David is restoring a life to someone society casts of as reject able. By his actions and words David restores dignity to this son and adopts him into his family. Again how beautiful! Unfortunately there was an incident that cost a lot of lives the key factor was the power of persuasion.

The Ammonites led their King Hanun to believe that David's act of sympathy was only a decietful attempt to spy on his nation and bring war upon it. Scripture tells us the truth but when you're listening to the enemy's council it's hard to decipher truth from lie. So Hanun had David's men humiliated. I couldn't imagine how ashamed these men were! To the Jewish culture a shaved beard was gross dishonor. King David devised a plan for his men to stay in Jericho until their beards grew back. Not only did David still accept his men by giving them a chance to come back and protecting thier dignity. He also fought for his men. He joined the battle against the Ammonites. David took up his men's cause! Last week in tears I said "God I know you'll take up my cause." He did and He always will! I experienced many beautiful and powerful words this week that have helped me to see words can be beautiful indeed!

A pastor, youth, family and friends all stepped up to the plate this week to provide words of encouragement, wisdom, love, affirmation, trust. It was just beautiful to be the recepient of loving words! After last night though it became so much more then words! I was able to see the power of God's protection! On my way to bible study I got into an accident. I'm not sure what happened but I was going through an intersection and a car was coming in the opposite direction we collided. The airbag deployed and was smoking it was scary. As this was happening I got to witness God's protection.

A couple from church were the first people at the scene, they were there talking to me and comforting me. I was crying and my friend gave me a hug. Thier son called the police and told them to come right away. They stayed with us until the police left. I walked home with Nathan and friend while Zechariah drove the car back home. Just a few seconds earlier I dropped Nathan off at home for dad to take care of him so I could go to my bible study. I had no idea what would happen a few seconds later!

My car looks terrible right now! More importantly though both me and the other driver were not hurt, my son was not it the car, and we both have insurance. What really shocked me was that people from our church showed up to help! I never want to be in an accident and I'm not sure my car can take another but for what I was able to experience from it I found it kind of beautiful all at the same time. I walked away from an accident without a scratch and my hubby was able to be with me afterwards as it was really close to home!

This week has been amazing, challenging, but beautiful all at the same time. Experiencing the power of words is amazing but even more then that, the power of God's protection! Life could always be better but then again in one second it could always be worse! We have such an amazing God! He loves us at our best and at our worst. He doesn't disqualify us when others deem us reject able, He restores our dignity and fight our cause, and He protects us when we least know we need Him to! I love God with all my heart and I want every breath to be for Him! If it's not I think a great tragedy would be my life! I've faced near death several times now and in every instance the power of God shines through! I pray that it can also for you!!

I love you!
Tina Martina Putney


Just so you can see what my car looks like and how good our God is to protect me and my son from injury!!

Devestation to celebration

I recently went to a celebration where the person didn't feel celebrated. It was really hard to watch. If there was ever a time I would have wanted to be around to see it would be when the Ark of the Covenant entered the City of David! There was such celebration, dancing, music, shouts, I can just it now! There's just one problem the reverence of the Lord was still being missed! Not even on this joyous occasion was the item of celebration truly celebrated. That's the last day of this week's study but a whole lot has happened this week I'd like to share.

Sunday God prompted me to write an email to my dad. I didn't know why I was writing it I just obediently wrote it. I got a response on Monday. It wasn't pleasant. I must have not communicated my intent somehow but what came back to me was not what I was expecting. I waited until my hubby Zechariah came home because I did not want to read the email alone and sit with the response all day which I would do so many times before. What I read devastated me, my dad completely missed the point of my email and once again my heart was rejected. There's never been a more painful relationship in my life!! Tuesday I posted on facebook a status that recieved a comment from our family friend. We arranged to talk on Tuesday night at nine.

Tuesday night I was at Communitas with baby boy and after I left I called our family friend. I prayed for insight to my dad that I didn't know so I could understand him more. What I heard shocked me! My dad misses me!! For 3 years we have barely communicated and when we have it hasn't been pleasant. But to actually hear that he misses me was a complete shock!! To be honest I miss him too! I hope you read this post dad because every word is right from my heart to yours! I love you!

See I love my dad so much he's a great guy, he provided for me, gave me a roof to sleep under, sacrificed a lot, miss our jokes, miss his laugh, so miss seeing him smile, but what I don't miss is the hurtful communication. Now you're probably thinking maybe you shouldn't be writing this on the internet and share this personally with your dad but what I want people to understand is you can show love to people who have hurt you. You can miss them even! What you don't need to do though is believe everything they say about you! I have heard so many hurtful things from this man but I love him so deeply that the pain I've endured only makes me want to love him more! Thursday is a day that I don't think I'll ever forget! I think that's when the "dam finally broke" so to speak.

I was supposed to go to the park with a very good friend of mine from womans bible study but we cancelled because of rain. I didn't want to stay home while I had the car so we went to the zoo after lunch. I didn't know if we were going to waste enough time (although no day with my son is a waste!!) before we had to pick up Zechariah from work. As I was leaving Como zoo I just started praying to God about how thankful I was about our wonderful time at the zoo! I started thanking him for my beautiful son and how precious he was. Then I started thinking about my wedding day and how beautiful it was and for the first time how beautiful I was. That's when it hit me.

All my life I never felt or heard that I was beautiful. Before I get fire thrown at me for this I want to say this, I often would get told ways I could improve my appearance and all I wanted was to be accepted for who I was not what I looked like would that be fair to say? Would many of you agree that you'd like to be accepted for you not what you look like? So realizing that I was beautiful if even for a day was heartbreaking. I can't look in the mirror and say I'm beautiful. This week God has blessed me with many friends who have called me beautiful. To you I say Thank you and I love you! I sobbed more then I have in a very long time. I was to the point of hysteria. When Zechariah got in the car I crouched to fetal position and fell asleep. I just kept saying "Jesus" "Help me to see how I'm beautiful."

I share this very vulnerable moment with you because I think it's so crucial to our walk with God. I literally cried until I couldn't anymore! I want my dad to see me as beautiful not because I want to be prideful about it but because I need to have confidence in myself. I want to say this; dad if you have seen me as beautiful all along then I'm really sorry I didn't pick up on it. But if this post is true then hopefully you now understand how deep those comments about my appearance cut. We have to cry out to God in our anguish because he alone hears our cry!! He certainly heard mine that day! Friday was a great day with God and many revelations were shared.

My good friend invited me to her house for lunch and it was so needed. Baby boy was very very busy and not staying very still but I was able to enjoy my food! He got pretty fussy and was communicating he needed sleep. As I was dealing with baby boy's energy I heard God say to not push and if he wanted a nap let him take it. The moment came at about 12:30 so I made the decision to go back home and get him to sleep. He fell asleep in the stroller!! That small act of obedience was blessed with an afternoon nap for us both and more time with God for me! I thought nothing of what God told me that morning but when the moment presented itself I knew what to do! I'm so thankful God directs and leads me so directly! So this week in my study has been pretty charged.

Saul and his sons die, David takes the throne over Judah, suspicion takes over in leadership but David is calm, David is crowned King of Israel but the last day was the best I think! I got so much comfort by it and perspective into my current situation. The Ark of the Covenant returned to the City of David!

Like I said before there was dancing, singing, shouts of joy, all of Israel was celebrating! With such a joyous occasion nothing could be wrong right? wrong! Uzzah touched the Ark and he died right there! This account makes God seem a bit harsh but he is not in the least! God is not harsh he is Holy! The Ark was supposed to be carried in a chest, but the Israelites transported it the same way the Philistines had before. How sad that not even David himself thought to revere God properly! However the biggest realization came with Michal daughter of Saul.

David expected celebration when he returned home! Look honey I brought the Ark of the Covenant home let's be blessed!!I can almost hear David saying that to Michal. What he met was condemnation and contempt. During a celebration Satan threatened to turn David's joy into bitterness on "rain on his parade" so to speak. David wouldn't let him! David responded much like what I would have wanted to so many times! Now I know that this will be my response because God IS WORTHY to be PRAISED!

This week has been very challenging and very difficult! But I've been eating sleeping and breathing Jesus and it has been so life giving! I pray that when we go through these rough seasons that God is our rock!! The song I Will Not be Moved by Natalie Grant is my theme song as it describes exactly what I feel now. Listen to the truth piercing through these lyrics! They're so beautiful!!

If no one has ever called you beautiful I want to tell you are, if you have never felt celebrated I want to tell you are so immensely so!! If you feel alone and misunderstood I want to tell you Christ is the solid rock on which I stand all other ground is sinking sand and to not be moved!!!

I love you!
Tina Martina Putney

I will not be Moved Natalie Grant
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyEMJBhCtU8

Week 4... A week of much humbling...

As the title suggests this week has been humbling. During this week I learned a lot about life in ways I didn't think I would. The most important lesson I walked away with is life doesn't go the way you plan or expect all the time but it shouldn't take your happiness. Let me paint a picture for you of what I mean.

This week I focused more on what I didn't have then what I did and it took a tole on my attitude big time. I was not very pleasant and pretty isolated. I realized that I was built to help others this week and often times I feel like I'm not able to do that outside of my family. It shouldn't have made me upset with my life but honestly sometimes I just feel empty. I feel like I'm always searching for the next thing. The answers finally came towards the end of the week. If you're willing to, walk through my week with me.

Following last week's train of thoughts about being jealous of my husband about things he has I kind of left myself defenseless so to speak. It was a dry time with God I didn't really spend a lot of alone time with him and rarely prayed. I felt I had a right to be upset with him because his plans weren't exactly what I had in mind for my life. So instead of being honest and letting him know I just kind of "walked away" That's probably the biggest mistake we as believers can make.

 We completely leave the enemy room to pour his lies into our hearts and minds. I'm not proud to admit that was the result in my life this week. It ended up being for nothing because God's plans are way better! But in a way the enemy looked bigger I looked and felt weaker and God definitely appeared distant. All along I knew the solution was just waiting for me to recognize Him but I just avoided Him pretty much all together. I grieved when I realized what I was doing.

See when we want something to look a certain way and it doesn't for me it's like a knife to the heart. It feels like my dreams are dashed to pieces and my heart is busted wide open. It's devastating so much that it throws me into boats of isolation. The way I can explain it is I don't understand so I really don't want to understand anyone right now. Can you imagine being a man who wants intimacy with a woman who just wants nothing to do with you or anyone for that matter? Not the greatest version of myself by any means. But then I went to joyful noise with hubby and baby and something in my heart seemed to shift.

Matthew West who's so fun live by the way was talking about his song forgiveness. 11 family members pleaded for a guilty man to be free sooner to live his life, instead of holding on to their grief over the death of their beloved they chose to forgive. Wow! I had a moment where I said if they can forgive like that it's time I "forgive God" of course I am the one that needs the forgiving and grace right? So I started talking to God again suddenly things felt a lot better at home and in myself. A weight was lifted and I know who took it off of me. So about helping people it just so happens God has something in store for me after all!

I'm going to be helping our church's nurse ministry visiting home bound members! I'm really excited for the conversations that can take place during these visits and what God's going to do in my faith as I open myself up to be his hands and feet! While I was looking on one side of the mountain God had blessings pouring down the other! Pray for me as I begin this new adventure and especially that I may be a welcoming presence in these families lives! David is a prayer warrior and I was struck by how much strength he had in his God even through the crazy set of circumstances he was facing.

They were talking about stoning him because they just lost everything wives, children, livestock, homes. An entire village burnt to the ground. But David didn't lose faith. That's so amazing to me that he had that much assurance which I seem so much to lack! David and his men chose not to react out of emotion. Much unlike my choices this past week. But in the end God's promise still stood. David was not stoned and in fact remained his men's leader and gained more loyalty. I think this is a great example of how our victories are never easy. David had to fight a 24 hour nonstop battle with the Amalekites. So how can we expect our battles to be any less difficult or trying? But what really got through to me was at church.

The message was really what I needed to hear. We are the laborers not the architects. The work continues with or without us. God is the one that does the miracles we are his vessels or as my new favorite expression of the Christian walk says: hands and feet. God uses people to perform the blessing. It's all over scripture! In this particular example I would say it's the fact the man were able to come to a reasonable response that was the blessing. It's God's protection but David's men are the vessels. One moment he's threatened to be stoned the next David and his men are pursuing their enemy. A practical story that I can give you in my life is when we had $400 worth of parking tickets!

Newly married and living in Minnesota life was pretty good. I was at a camp in Wisconsin with my bestie and Zechariah was at our apartment for the week alone. We started to accumulate parking tickets because of expired tabs. I bought the tabs before I left but they didn't get mailed to me yet. When I got back to Minnesota I showed them evidence of the purchase and every cent was dropped we didn't pay a cent!! It was God's blessing but he used a person to do it!

In life there will be times of doubt, fear, questions, but one question that doesn't really need to be asked is does God care. I think he answers that question throughout all scripture but mostly in our lives. This week has been humbling and caused me to examine my role as a parent, and spouse quite a bit. I'm so happy to not have it all together and I'm so thankful for God's grace to allow me to walk away but always allow me to come back! I love seeing God's handiwork in my life. I pray the same goes for you!

Thank you for continuing on this journey with me friends and family!
Love you

Tina Martina Putney