I know fear is a liar in my head, but in my heart it's deathly grip plagues my sense of peace. I have feared my finances, marriage falling apart (for a time I wanted it to) children being hurt, what people think of me etc! My life has been a legacy of fear. I have decided to put a stop to it! My faith has been an anchor through my life. When I go through hard seasons I cling to that faith. I sometimes forget how near God is. I am embarking on a journey that is challenging but so rewarding, when I see my boys light up because they know they are heard. I can see their facial expressions change when they learn something new! I love when they look at us to make sure we are watching! I love being joyful with my family, I do not love feeling anger.
I fear getting angry. I have given into anger for most of my life! Meaning I can say and do the worst things to the people I love most in these heightened states. But I am learning not only is fear a liar but my anger can be my training ground! With the skills I now have and God's guidance I can overcome my biggest enemy! I am working on my parenting and trying to build a safe, joyful and healthy home for myself and family. Recently I have found conscious parenting.
This focuses on behavior as communication of needs not being met rather then labeling it good or bad. This is parenting with not over and a new approach entirely. It has been a very welcome change in my home! I am a lot more calm and my husband has noticed I have much more gentle responses to once triggering situations. I have been seeking a new way to parent for many years and I finally found it! It's beautiful to see how God shows His favor and love to us! His love is limitless! In due time we are reaping a harvest "Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due time for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."(NIV)
I was holding a beautiful rock as I wrote this. It was just a rock with a cross inside that says faith. Simple rock, I don't know where it came from it was just lying in my yard one day. I get angry at God sometimes, I question his love for me and yet he does not get offended and withhold his love. He multiplies His love with his unlimited favor! He must truly love our family because we have seen his favor many times.
I don't know why I doubt his love for me as He is always faithful. The truth is we all do it!
I was holding a beautiful rock as I wrote this. It was just a rock with a cross inside that says faith. Simple rock, I don't know where it came from it was just lying in my yard one day. I get angry at God sometimes, I question his love for me and yet he does not get offended and withhold his love. He multiplies His love with his unlimited favor! He must truly love our family because we have seen his favor many times.
I don't know why I doubt his love for me as He is always faithful. The truth is we all do it!
When something happens that we don't expect we question the One who made us and knows us inside and out. "For you created my innmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13(NIV). He knows everything about us, what we will face, every single sin we will ever commit, including betraying HIM to our enemy, and HE still won't leave. He truly never leaves us nor forsakes us. The psalmist penned these words "Though my mother and father may forsake me, he will receive me." Psalm 27:10. (NIV) His thoughts truly are higher than our thoughts and his ways are truly higher than our ways! I've always wanted to be a mom. I knew I was called to change my family legacy.
I love the little reminders God gives me to hold onto. Little hands and feet are so precious to me. The hands that hold on to us and trust us with their lives. I love handprint and footprint art! In my home I have a lot of this artwork from the boys on my wall. I like to look to see how they grew throughout the years. There is something so beautiful about those little hands and feet. Its a reminder of who looks up to and loves you! These boys are my legacy.
Our plans are flawed compared to God's, plain and simple! He knows exactly what we need at exactly the right moment. When something looks different in our opinion, we question God's plan. He still leads us gently to his best for us! In relationships in the past I thought I knew his best, now 8 years into my marriage I know these were not his best for me! My husband and I have been side by side and that settles it for 9 years!!
God shared this phrase with us in South Dakota when Zechariah was on a mission trip with Next Step Ministries! Four days into our marriage he said that "I was a good wife and Zechariah was a good husband." I didn't know it at the the time but I know why now. It's because we have fought for our marriage since day one! No it hasn't been easy but we have stood by each other's side in the end. Throughout our relationship God never let us carry out an argument for to long. He usually tells me what is going on in me so I can resolve the issue with my husband!
Our plans are flawed compared to God's, plain and simple! He knows exactly what we need at exactly the right moment. When something looks different in our opinion, we question God's plan. He still leads us gently to his best for us! In relationships in the past I thought I knew his best, now 8 years into my marriage I know these were not his best for me! My husband and I have been side by side and that settles it for 9 years!!
God shared this phrase with us in South Dakota when Zechariah was on a mission trip with Next Step Ministries! Four days into our marriage he said that "I was a good wife and Zechariah was a good husband." I didn't know it at the the time but I know why now. It's because we have fought for our marriage since day one! No it hasn't been easy but we have stood by each other's side in the end. Throughout our relationship God never let us carry out an argument for to long. He usually tells me what is going on in me so I can resolve the issue with my husband!
He wants us to live out His call and plans for our lives! God love us and he loves you too, and if you let him he will lead you to His best for you! You will see that He loves to give you a new identity that empowers and shows what he feels about you. God gave us identities a while ago that he recognizes us as by. My name from God is Nala and for this year Ruthie ( I always give nicknames to things I love like youth are youthies.) Zechariah's names are Lion- Simba, Watchmen, Prince and 5 Star General. Now our boys have been given identities by God as well.
We get to choose however, do we choose our plans or God's unflawed plan? It's not easy living in the balance of God's call on our lives but it is always a learning experience. All He asked Abraham in the book of Genesis to do was believe He was God and would do what He said would happen. That's all he asks us to do also. If we can do these things we will see that it's not so complicated and there are benefits to living within His will.
I love you with all my Heart
Tina Martina Putney
Enjoy these two links!
https://youtu.be/83AB3p3WXBc
https://youtu.be/1srs1YoTVzs
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