Pockets of faithfulness

Lately God's been teaching me about his faithfulness. Honestly the most encouraging thing about scripture to me is that it's filled with promise! Through a series of events in our life God's been bringing back that scripture to my mind. I'd like to share this with you.

So I'm sure you've met our darling baby boy Nathan. If not yet maybe soon! We had to go through some testing with Nathan. He had fluid in his kidney when I was pregnant so we had to follow up after he was born. We went to the 6 week ultrasound and the fluid they found was still there. Next we had to take a VCUG. It's a test that tests where the urine flow is. They have to use a catheter and anyone who's had a catheter knows its not fun at all. I myself had one during labor. It was so bad I was bawling.

So we went to HCMC to get this test done. I had no idea what to expect but went through with it. At first it was ok Nathan even seemed to be enjoying it but then the catheter came in. We were both bawling at this point. So naturally when I was told we had to do this test again I freaked out. My past experience of this was horrid and I wasn't about to go through that again. This time however God had pockets of faithfulness waiting for me.

"Ask anything in my name and it will be done." That's what I kept hearing over the course of these weeks waiting to find out what the next step was. After I was told he had to go in again I heartfelt cried out to God. His response was the above quote. So I asked that they find nothing. He told me "I can't do anything to get you out of the test." As direct as he is to me sometimes I don't really understand what he's saying. I'm learning to give myself grace when I "miss the message" so to speak. I was expecting to find out we had to go through more with this bladder releasing fully problem (which is what HCMC was concerned with) they give it the name post urethral valves. But God had more then results waiting for me.

"All will be well." When he said this I was thinking I know it will be eventually but what about now? During this whole experience God was consistently telling me "All will be well." Again I should have understood what that meant but I didn't. What I thought he was saying was that all will be well eventually but for now I still had to deal with Nathan possibly having something wrong with him.

The greatest news I got was that there was nothing abnormal with Nathan. God was telling me that Nathan was going to be ok RIGHT NOW! I didn't have to wait He had him healed now. I cried out to God and he heard my prayers, he saw my hurting heart, he knew how much this was troubling me and he came through with his faithfulness!

What's the real lesson here? God is always faithful to what he says he will do. If we are to ask anything in his name then what we ask for (assuming it's in his will and timing) will come. God doesn't change, we do. We change when God remains faithful. We change our trust in him when we can see that he is faithful. God gives us pockets of faithfulness.

Scripture is filled with promises! What's most encouraging to me for everyday life is the pockets of faithfulness. God shows his faithfulness in little ways to me, I can't always handle the big ones. With my son having a potential health concern he was very direct but gently worded. He knew a "schooling" of all his promises wouldn't help me feel more confident through this. All I could handle at that time was him drawing on his faithfulness. I could feel he had something good in store, he always does. His direction helped me to see he was working in this circumstance and all I had to do was obey.

God also has been healing an old wound in my heart. I'm afraid of being forgotten. Through visions, dreams, and time with our family God has shown me that I will not be forgotten. When I don't get to spend time with Him he doesn't just leave my side he keeps speaking to me in different ways. I love spending time in scripture but with a close to 4 month old it becomes challenging to find "you" time. No matter what though God is faithful. And with every bit of faithfulness I trust him more. Being forgotten and anxious all the time is not God's will for me. I expected it to be but God wants so much more for me. I know that he wants more for you too!

Whether God heals me completely here from all the pain I've endured in this life or in His kingdom I know that he is faithful. Just when I think I have to figure things out and worry and expect the worst God shows up with his faithfulness. I'm still a working progress but with every pocket of faithfulness I see I trust more and can face another day. I pray that you can see pockets of faithfulness in your life if seeing all the big promises at once is overwhelming. Know that God hears your prayers, cries and pleas. My heart goes out to all those that feel hurt and broken.

I know there's many with broken homes, broken spirits and broken hearts out there tonight may recieving pockets of faithfulness lift you from your circumstance into the loving arms of Father God.

I love you
Tina Martina Putney

Just Wait for this... We've waited long enough

Have you ever heard someone say “just wait for this?” I’ve heard it over and over all my life and every time I hear those words they honestly hurt. If there’s one thing that I feel has been attacked repeatedly it’s our belief. Right off the bat in the garden of Eden Satan tempted Eve and what she believed he asked her the doubting question “did God really Say?” The result was catastrophic for mankind. Planting doubt into a person’s mind and heart is the first step to a broken story.

So all my life I’ve felt as though my beliefs were not accepted. As if somehow I was always undoubtedly wrong. I think you can understand what happens to a person who’s made to feel they’re always “off the mark” so to speak something just doesn’t make sense with what they’re thinking. Enter in a lot of anxiety and second guessing and shyness to share what your beliefs are and I became susceptible to anyone’s ideas advice and warnings. Advice is needed and very welcome when it comes with the right spirit and source. Too often I’ve experienced the destructive just wait for this. To me it’s just as heart breaking as the question Satan asked Eve. It has just as devastating an effect. Fast forward to 28 years down the line with a newborn son and husband and those wounds are still present.

Recently I had a moment of truth wash over some of the lies I’ve believed. Babysitting always terrified me, leaving my child in someone else’s care while my child is screaming is the worst I could have ever expected from our babysitting experience. Sundays Nathan goes to the nursery while we’re at church and now Thursdays we have a babysitter lined up. I can’t begin to say how relieving it is that I can drop my son off to a nursery volunteer and pick him up and hear “he did great!” It literally chokes me up to think of how much time I spent stressing over how my future child would behave when I wasn’t there to take care of them. I dreaded that experience all my life and through much praying God has been able to show me the reality of my son.

He’s never had a problem going to anyone in three months. For three months we’ve taken him to places with us had him meet all sorts of people and every time he surprises me how well he takes it. Then God tells me ”This is my answer to all the prayers you’ve prayed. “Remember when you prayed your son would know he’s loved whether you’re with him or not?” I’m literally seeing the fruits of those prayers. This has been engrained in me to worry about so it’s going to take time to heal this belief that my child will fall apart without me but I know the truth is God gave me the child that is perfect for my husband and I. Of course not every drop off and pick up will go smoothly but if I can save myself a little bit of anxiety when I leave Nathan I know I’ll breathe a lot better.  

Lately God’s put it on my heart to study his word by reading commentaries and writing down what I read. I’ve been in the last chapters of John and beginning Acts. One of the most exciting things I read so far is that believers are encouraged to expect God’s presence and favor. This is so important to me because all my life I wanted to live like this. I wanted to put everything in God’s hands. The sad truth is that my teaching was a lot different.

I was taught to worry, be anxious, try and figure everything out, be ridiculed for trying, be afraid of what others think about me, not practice my instincts essentially not be the person God created me to be. Tears fill my eyes as I write this because I am learning new ways to live. Instead of worry I pray, instead of trying to figure everything out I allow God to work things out, instead of being ridiculed I’m loved and embraced for what I think and feel, instead of being afraid what others think of me I hear what God thinks of me and brings me so much comfort. Not being able to practice my instincts has scarred me in so many ways.

It’s left me unsure of what I’m really capable of, it’s left me scared to try and fail, it’s blocked my thought process in situations and most frightening to me left me paralyzed unsure of where to make my next move. What’s so freeing to me now is I can operate in my instincts. God has given everyone an instinctive drive that helps them through any situation. Recently I’ve been able to listen to my instincts a lot in raising our son. My husband and I realized recently we differ in this area I operate in my instincts with finding out what Nathan needs and Zechariah reads the situation and processes it and then suggests plans of action. It’s very crucial to have both sets of parenting and they complement each other well. It’s such a joy and honor to raise our son with you sweetheart! Love you with all my heart!

So I would definitely mark this a sweet time in my life as God takes me deeper into his word I realize that’s where the truth lies. To every lie the enemy has ever told me I have a truth to now replace that with. It’s paramount for me and all believers to be in his Word if we ever want to combat the enemy’s attacks. But we can’t do this alone. We need solid Christian friends and family to walk us into who God created us to be. My heart is that all on the side of truth would live it. “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1 Isn’t it time we stop living like we’re awaiting it? I know I’m tired of feeling punishment is all I’ll receive. I can’t wait to run into Jesus arms sigh and say I hope there’s nothing left that I haven’t given back to you.

There will always be pain, death and destruction in this world but I want to take Jesus advice and take heart because he has overcome the world. When those lies come I want to be able to combat them and stand on the truth that has promised to set me free.  I pray this for you also.

Love you with all my heart

Tina Martina Putney

A new insanity

Have you ever used the phrase new normal? I have several times. When I am in a transition I use that to help me cope. It helps me to know that changes are happening but things will settle again into a new normal with a new routine. But I'm starting to embrace a new insanity!

While talking to David today I paused and shared this revelation with him. I said "having a child is a new insanity." He told me I should write about that so here goes! To me this means that everything changed once I had my son. My temper has greatly decreased with having Nathan around. I want to protect Nathan from all harm. Anger has been a really destructive emotion for my life as I'm sure it is for many others also. So in order for my son to be safe I had to embrace more calm. Being married to a calm person of nature helps a lot in this process. However I'm now starting to realize how essential staying calm really is. It's not just safe for Nathan but it's also safe for my family and me.

So when things come up that are threatening the calm environment I want to establish for my son I have to remember who I'm doing it for. Hospitals and doctors always scared me but now I have to put my faith and trust in them to take care of our son. I have to trust in their training and experience as does any parent. At the same time all I want to do is hold Nathan and not let any pain come to him. This is what I call a new insanity.

In two months I have been so in love with my son that I couldn't imagine life without him! He makes me a better person in every way because I now have to challenge all my beliefs and put my trust in situations that I have no experience in. I have no idea how to heal a sick child I'm not just talking about the common cold but I know there are medical professionals that can. At the same time I can't stand putting my son through any kind of pain. I want him to get better I just don't want him to feel any pain to get there. This is insanity because lets face it in order for something to get better we have to go through pain.

Words don't even come close to describe how much I love my son. I love his smile, his coos, his alert eyes taking everything in. I see him as a precious gift from God because that's what he is. When he cries I used to be so anxious and just wanted to make him stop but now I have embraced him communicating something is wrong. When he coos I can't help but laugh, when he smiles he melts my heart.

One night I was really stressed out and Nathan was feeding. I looked down at him and as just staring at me. He then smiled at me and in a second all my stress vanished. This is what I call a new insanity. I'm learning a love so crazy that it can take what I'm feeling and turn it around in a second! I'm also learning the most important lesson in this. God loves us with this kind of love!

Jeremiah 31:3 uses the term everlasting love, to me that's a better way to define a new insanity. Everlasting means no end no matter what. This is what I am learning with my son. No matter what we go through together I will always love him. We are going to have those days where we may not like each other but I will always see the gift he is and pray for him to remain that in my heart. My greatest prayer for Nathan is that he can know even when we are not with him physically he can know that spiritually we are right by his side.

To me motherhood is a gift from God. I get to partner with him to raise one of his own. There of course will be days I'll need to be reminded of that which is why I'm so thankful for the community God's built around me and my family. I have been waiting for my son long before pregnancy started and now that he's finally here I don't intend on wasting this precious time I've been given. It's true I've had to give up things in order to be Nathan's mom but what I had to give up can not at all come close to the moments I get to share with my son everyday.

I love him with God's love because I feel he has given me eyes to see him as He sees him. I had a vision the Jesus called Nathan his sweet baby boy. That vision has helped me to see Nathan as that in my eyes. He lights up a room and can sit through worship without making a peep. God has blessed us with this beautiful child! I pray that I and Zechariah and our family and friends can embrace our son with God's love. It's crazy and insane and it will never stop no matter what! I'm most thankful to be taught what a new insanity looks like.

When I look at my son I know God's showing me how crazy he is about us! When my heart melts when my son smiles that's what God's heart is doing when we laugh or smile! When we spend time with him he melts! It's crazy how much God loves his children but that's just what we are and that's just what he does. He loves with an everlasting love just like having Nathan has become a new insanity for me we are always one for Him!

I pray we can see our children through His eyes! I pray we can see ourselves through His eyes! He came down from Heaven suffered, died, bled, rose, and defeated death for us just so we could spent Eternity with him! If you ask me that's crazy love everlasting love. Here's the greatest gift of all He offers it to us everyday! I pray we can lay down our lives and desires and attitudes and take up His. He will never leave us nor forsake us. May you be blessed to know you are a Child of the One True King today and everyday of your life!

I love you with all my heart and with His love!
Tina Martina Putney

The restorer

Luke 10: 49-53
So this scripture always scared me. It says mother in law will be against daughter in law. If there's anything more scary to me it's conflict with family. This scripture made me afraid to be married for fear of being an in law. I expected to to have disputes with my mother in law. I expected a painful and broken relationship. God is really the restorer of relationships.

Yesterday was a big day for Wendy's and my relationship. After an opportunity to share feelings arose, the fear of division with my mom in law ceased. God led me to write a message to my mom in law that shared what was truthfully going on in my mind and heart. I expected to offend her but instead I got an apology. This post is all about God restoring relationships. Before I talked with Wendy God told me what to do. I was afraid to share my feelings because of what could have happened.

God is far above what we think or feel at the moment. He restores healthy relationships in our lives because he loves us. He asks us to give up painful or even good ones for better and more permanent ones. Through the misunderstandings, disputes, great times and bad times God will keep going the right relationships for our lives like he showed me with Wendy. He'll give us the words to say, action to take, gesture to make, ideas of reconciliation. He really does not want us to be alone. Isn't it time we let go of the relationships that just seem to bring us down?

To the fatherless he gives them a new one, to the weary he gives rest, to the wanderer he gives community, to the sinner he offers forgiveness, to the alienated he restores relationships. How do I know this you may ask? It happened in my life and is still happening! When I expect punishment He meets me with grace and mercy. I can't express words of thanks and praise loud enough!

Another revelation I received yesterday was with our church. We cheered on runners at the twin cities marathon. Seeing so many people supporting such a good cause brought tears to my eyes. People were doing something together for good. It was a beautiful picture of Heaven! We're all running a race, all different paces but hopefully we're all going to the same place! I don't know about you but I want to finish my race with as many people as I can finish with!

Another revelation of restoration God's brought in my life is our church community. I'm so used to finding a church and then being uprooted and having to find another one. Yesterday however God reminded me of our church and how in November we've been attending and serving here for 2 years! The first time Zechariah and I came to our church together God told me I was coming home. After one experience with our church in the cities over summer God brought me back and now 2 years later my husband and I never left! God has given me and my family a church to build roots in!

Every single day God shows me something new about His love and His character that changes my perspective on things. I also realize how much more of Him I need. Without His love I would do alot of things wrong, make the wrong decisions and probably destroy the relationships God has built in my life. I pray you'll join me in Thanking God everyday for His love because we really do need it. I pray that we can all come to see God as a restorer of our relationships because He truly does not want us to be alone!

All my love
Tina Martina Putney

Visions and Restoration

So this post is about restoration...

It started with a book Zechariah is reading and started telling me what he was reading in it. At first I thought it was just a book for him and we'd be able to share what he got out out of it. Then he started talking about the mountain and how hard of a journey the character Much- Afraid has to get to the high places. Suddenly a light bulb went off in my head and my ears were wide open. This is often times what I felt about my journey.

In the book "Hinds' Feet on High Places" Much- Afraid is accompanied with sorrow and suffering through much of her journey to the high places. On her way she is also able to speak with the Good Shepherd who is an allegory of Jesus. What struck me this morning was when they talked about Much-Afraid going though the low place to get to the high places being the mountain. Originally I intended to share visions God has given me to relate but after listening to a sermon from Valleybrook Church about a love that restores I knew the meaning was much more!

In order for Much- Afraid to get to the high places she had to pass through the low places first. In my life I had to climb over the mountain of abuse and pass by the sea of loneliness. My story is marked with abuse and loneliness. In order to get to where I am now I had to go through the rough stuff first. The physical wounds heal a lot faster then the emotional wounds left on an abused heart. There's the potential for this to backfire on me as I write this by negative feedback made by my dad but my intent is only to share a part of my journey with you. 

When Zechariah was describing Much-Afraid's journey the vision I immediately saw was a maze and myself trying desperately to try to find the way out. That maze was my story. I always thought I was getting somewhere only to discover I hit another dead end. After sometime hitting dead ends I just about gave up fighting my way out until one day I saw a white light lighting my path. I took one look back at the maze and walked toward the light. I believe that maze represents my life without Christ. It also represents me without knowing the love that is in Jesus Christ. I'm not even sure what I looked like back then now but I can't imagine it was pretty. I know I was angry almost all of the time, I know I was desperate to do things on my own, I know I relied on my own understanding and called that "good enough." That all changed when I saw the light.

I'm going to be transparent and say that it took me until about last year to learn who I am, who's I am, and most importantly my purpose. Life is so much different now! I still am in a maze but this time with no dead ends and God is right there with me guiding me through every step of the way!! I couldn't imagine life without him!! Being in the low places of my life has really helped me to appreciate the high places he has me moving towards now!

Back to the light in the maze for a brief moment. When I saw that light I finally felt I had a sense of direction. I finally could see the path laid out for me. I'm going to equate this too the decision I had to make back in 2012. In the moment I finally agreed with God's plan did I feel a goodness to me. Before then I always saw and thought the worst about myself. I mean really bad thoughts I wouldn't really even accept someone complimenting me and definitely not seeing me. I was ok being invisible and to just fade into the background. Yeah I acted did some plays and forensics in school but I never felt my worth in any of it. I didn't really see what I contributed to anything I did.

It was when I discovered who's I was that I started to understand. He doesn't see me the way I've always seen myself! He sees me as a daughter and a princess and calls me Nala! God is my restorer! He took me as I was and made something beautiful come out. He's still shaping me still molding me but always gently and lovingly showing me who he is and how much he loves me. I understand now that the journey I took I had to in order to be where he wanted me to be for the people I was supposed to know and love now.

The sea of loneliness leads me to share another vision. One day at NCU during chapel I was worshiping and all of a sudden my feet felt cold and I opened my eyes but God told me to close them. I did and that cold feeling came back only this time I saw it was water. I asked God what that water was and he told me the "River of Life." I felt it rush through my whole body and I never felt so much peace! It was so real but supernatural all at the same time! I no longer have to be alone. God has filled me with his living water! Being his daughter is such a priveledge and honor but not I'm not just walking with God for me but for Nathan.

Babies are tough work any parent will tell you that. Especially when they're wailing while feeding its tough to keep it together. That moment happened today. I just wanted to be left alone and unstress so I had Zechariah take Nathan for a bit. He laid him down for a nap and we ate lunch. While we were eating lunch we were listening to the sermon. When I heard Pastor Doug preach about a love that restores immediately I saw Nathan when he was first born and his beautiful blue eyes looking at me. I settled just like that knowing no matter what God would always restore my love for him. I love my boy so much I can't even begin to explain it but I know there will be times I'll need God to restore that in me. I'm so happy that we have a God that loves us so much to restore us, restore our love for him and others he brings into our lives!

A song by Carrie Underwood that I feel applies here is "Starts with goodbye" She talks about letting go of some things she's loved to get to the other side. That's what we all have to do at one point or another in our lives. We have to let go of situations, places, sometimes people that are holding us back from God's best. The reward however is so much greater knowing you're following the desire of God's will for you. I know the road to my high places will be challenging and that's how it's meant to be however I also know that focusing on the right direction for me Jesus's face is all I need to keep going and win the race set before me. I pray the same for you! I pray you can overcome the mountains in your life! I pray we together can see our restored selves and embrace them as Jesus so quickly wishes to!! Let's take these mountains on together!

All my love
Tina Martina Putney

Another birthday, Another year to make memories

So now that my birthday has come and gone I get to reflect on 28 years! Wow life is truly an adventure!! You guys read the blog about mine and Zechariah's earlier days in our relationship. To be at this point in such a small amount of time is amazing to me!!

We're parents!!! We have the cutest and sweetest little guy to raise in the way he should go at home!! It's such a joy to finally be a mommy even with the spit up!! Yesterday all three of us took a "family nap" I'm telling you those are the moments I live for!! Being cuddled up close with my favorite boys there's nothing better!!! We went out for lunch watched moms night out I had youth group and went to applebees for half of appetizers!!

If you would have told me a year ago this is what life would look like now I wouldn't have believed you. It's to fun to hang out with my best friend and son all day long. Hopefully Zechariah will be going back to work soon but for now I'm enjoying the season of having him home!! I've come to love the teamwork we've been able to share. I also enjoy the quiet moments that I have to myself. In these moments I can truly reflect on and think about where God has brought me!

From WI to MN from single to married from married to parents all in a matter of two years!!! God is really a magnificent story teller!! To think I could have made different choices that would have made everything look totally different now. We've all been there stayed in an unhealthy relationship to long, drug on an unhealthy friendship, believed a lie about yourself that you claim to be fact, stayed in a season to long resisting change. I'm no different I still catch myself every now and then resisting change or healing just because of instability. I need to know what to expect. Dear friends and family of mine will be able to tell you I like surprises but at the same time I want to figure out what's going on. It makes our house interesting :)

What I have come to realize last night as I was talking to Zechariah is that we are all in the exact spot God wants to be in that moment. We are all in the exact season God has us in. Ecclesiastes 3 says there is a time for everything. When you read that scripture you see how true it is no matter what you believe about destiny, fate or predetermined destiny. It's just a fact of life there is a time for everything! I believe this is my time to plant, heal, embrace, gather stones, build, and love.

Being a new mom I get to now plant so to speak my family where it blooms. We get to create a new legacy for our baby Nathan that wouldn't have been possible in any other time of our lives. Heal from a long journey of lonliness, being replaced, distant family, I get to heal from unmet needs and expectations. It's not going to be a pain free journey but it's going to be freeing to let it all go now and pick up my new life. Embrace the season I'm in. I'm a mom from here on out no matter what I will always have someone to protect, pray over, for and with, take care of, teach, and love unconditionally, most important I have a disciple at home to teach about who Jesus is and how he loves us!!Gather stones instead of living a path of destruction I get to put the pieces together and create a masterpiece! Build up my family, friends, youth God puts on my heart, myself even, we all get a chance to become who we're meant to be. This is my time to pour into all God places on my heart to love, encourage, lead, love, see, hear, live life with. Lastly but most importantly love. No more anger and bitterness I can let go of that and pick up love now. I know that I am to love and be loved. Can there be a better time to put this into practice then with a newborn baby at home yearning for it?

I've been through alot of seasons in my life but this by far is my favorite one!! I'm seeing myself in ways I never thought I would. It's been a long hard journey to get here but my trust in God has grown so much as it needed to!! I love being a wife and mother but my favorite is being God's daughter!! I love him so much and I'm going to embrace the season he has me in because to not be content would be me saying "I love you but this just isn't good enough." How could I possibly say that to my daddy who has made me feel always good enough?? I'm going to embrace what God has for me because it's so special. He didn't have to give me the life he did but I'm so glad he chose to. This is my story this is my song praising my savior all the day long are words from blessed assurance. I'm assured that I am right where God wants and needs me to be.

Let me leave you with this question: What season or time or you in?

Love you
Tina Martina Putney

One month with my son!!

It's incredible to me that a month ago I finally got to hold my baby boy in my arms! On August 4th 2014 Nathan Michael Putney entered our world! Words can't describe how I feel about him and how much I love watching him grow!! He's quite the big guy too he's already about 12 pounds!! Just a month ago I was dealing with the worst pain I've ever felt and now 1 month later I'm able to write out my thoughts.

This month has been crazy! From peace to chaos it seems to have turned overnight. Both Zechariah and I have gotten little sleep in these past four weeks.  The thing I love about us is that we are determined to focus on each other no matter what new season we're in. Zechariah is always doing his best to search out my heart and what I'm feeling. There are days that will feel like you can't do anything right. Yesturday was one of those days for me.

After a stressful 3 weeks I finally opened up and what happened afterwards was beautiful! We have a wall decoration on our bookcase that says family holds the key to your heart. Zechariah is usually always able to tell how I'm doing and know when I need to talk, take a walk, be with a friend, take care of my sons needs. The stress of this past month is trying to find our "new normal." We know having a baby changes everything.

At a church house Zechariah and I go to on Tuesday nights we were prophesied over and Nathan too! He was supposed to bring us together not drive us apart. It's felt like what Gods wanted for us was being attacked by the enemy and not until yesturday did we actually see that prophecy fulfilled. We're back to the marriage God established! We're working as a team again! It's beautiful and I love my husband more dearly now! Yesturday a friend of ours was over and Zechariah had Nathan in his arms and was just walking him around our kitchen telling him what everything was. It was the cutest thing!

Watching my husband be a father is a beautiful thing! He says the same for me! We love each other and our son! We're a family and we cherish that! Our newborn pictures I think do a great job of showing this! Well with a week old baby we went to a camp in Wisconsin (yup the three of us).

You're probably going "are you nuts" at this point! We love to travel and want to get Nathan accustomed to it also. During the earlier part of this summer God put going back to camp on my heart. I knew I was going to be having a newborn soon so I didn't know how that would be possible but God kept bringing camp back to me. So August 10-15 we were in Wisconsin. Zechariah and I weren't staying together over night. He stayed at a house with guys and I stayed with missionaries and Nathan. Some nights I was crying because of a very unhappy baby boy but I also learned the most important lesson that week which I'd like to share with you. No matter what never give up.

Breastfeeding is hard and I was just about to give up but my breastfeeding mentor encouraged me. I kept at it and found that towards the end of the week it got easier. I also recognized that I got a lot more calm and so did Nathan! There were nights I didn't know how I was going to make it through but we made it. Once I understood that I was never going to give up it became easier to keep going. Just like in the delivery room I had a job to do and I was going to finish it! My son needed me to not give up for many reasons but mainly to show him that we never give up!

Another lesson I learned is community is vital to a fulfilled life! Camp was amazing and it's filled with great people it was a joy to come back a second year! I already asked Zechariah if we could consider coming back another year as a family! Taking a week old baby to Wisconsin is crazy but God was showing me the importance of community! Life is never supposed to be done alone. I was expecting to be taking care of Nathan myself as Zechariah goes to work. What actually happened was that God was showing us the need to be together and be around community now. Not one part of this have I done alone. The beautiful thing is now I don't want to!

Zechariah will be going to work soon but we'll still be focusing on our teamwork. When God brings you a partner you don't get to be alone! Even if he's not going to be home all the time he'll still be helping with taking care of our boy! I couldn't imagine doing this any other way! I love working as a team with my husband it helps life to feel balanced when everything else around us may not be!

As we continue this journey of parenthood please keep praying for our teamwork and communication. We don't want 3 voices in our conversations when it's just us two talking. Community is vital to your life it has become essential in ours!! Our church family has blessed us like crazy during this season and we are so grateful for all their help! I'm praying you can find yourselves in beautiful community as well!!

Thank you to all who've helped,supported and loved on our family during this time! We love you and are praying for you!

Tina Martina Putney