Learning about the dock

Well it's been an interesting and educational week for us! I've learned something through a vision this week that I haven't taken seriously until now...

In the analogy of a dock God showed me something key. If home is not right I can't go anywhere else. People that know me also know I have a tendency to run away and leave important situations behind while trying to take care of myself. I especially do this when I get hurt. I think we all do at some point. We want to run from what's hurting us but what I learned is that what's left behind is the same hurt I was feeling before I left.

So this week there's been a couple situations that rose up where I was able to see this in practice. Ministry is not always the easiest fight, one you certainly have to prepare yourself for. In several situations this week I was trying to help others while I myself was suffering. In a sense I was going out to sea again while leaving dock unattended. This was clear when I watched my husband from across the room. I knew that in that moment all I should have been doing was being with him but I was needed elsewhere. When I finally made the decision to be with my husband our whole night changed.

The next morning was when I saw the vision of the dock.It's a dock like any other but it was only intact when the ship would be docked at it. As soon as the ship went out it fell apart. What God showed me in that is often times I feel I need to help others outside of my own home but I forget to see the hurting partner I leave behind on a shattered dock.

I have learned to take this lesson seriously and will continue to do my best at taking care of the needs at home before I go anywhere. God has given me this wonderful man to love and to hold and to grow with and I will be held accountable how I treat his heart. This we learned at a friends wedding on Easter Sunday. When I focus my attention off the dock no matter what it crumbles. If however I learn to keep my gaze on it and help build a strong foundation for it, that's when it becomes what it's meant to.

Marriage is not the easiest thing at times. You see really quick where you lack understanding and patience but it's a test worth passing! The beautiful part of marriage is that you get to learn more about yourself and the person you're with. My home is my dock, marriage it's foundation and all of it is held up by God. If I don't focus on what I do here first my husband is still hurting when I come back. In a sense I've done nothing to relieve any hurt from either of us I've simply prolonged it. The same hurt and questions are still there they just take a longer time to manifest because one person is unavailable at the moment.

In 6 weeks we are going to be welcoming our son into our family! I want him to see that daddy and mommy work together. I don't want him to see an unstable dock. It takes two to build a dock, two to destroy it and still two to rebuild it again. In order to be effective parents to our lion cub (we're calling him lion king as a nickname) we both have to work together and pull  our weight.

Currently Zechariah is looking for full time work as I get ready to stay home with my son. In both of these roles there's a change to set in. The key ingredient in the success of this process is prayer and God's guidance. We are learning with each passing day how much we do need each other. No matter what happens we are side by side and that settles it. Please keep us in prayer as we enter this new and exciting journey into parenthood!

Love you
Tina Putney

By Searching Isobel Kuhn

This book was given to me by my bestie as a gift. It's one I can't seem to put down! There's a lot of things in there that struck me but something I really felt I should share was a look at our times.
Isobel  the author is in a quest to search for God while still being wrapped in worldly pleasures (card playing, novels and dancing). This story is about the 1920's. What's so significant about that is that's much like our times now isn't it?

We're also Christians but living in the world and all it's desires. Times really haven't changed. What struck me was the personal relationship she has grown to have with God. Throughout the book she's agnostic and doesn't believe in God but all the times her "bargins" have actually been answered she starts to see that God is real and does answer prayer.

For instance there's a decision she had to make, as we all do on a daily basis. She wanted to know whether she should go to a dance and was really torn about it. The way she got her answer was scripture. It was clear that was something God was asking her to leave behind. I just had a conversation with a friend I met at a camp last summer about this. In my heart I know that she'll never reach her full potential living in the circumstances she is now. She's about to graduate high school and at a point in her life where she doesn't know what to do. She wants to go to a college while still living in an unsafe situation.

For me college was my escape! I got to leave my past behind and make a new life, new friends, new memories. As soon as I came to UW-Stout I got involved right away in student organizations. I felt I moved out of my home and now I was spreading my wings! I just had a baby shower where a few of my friends from college were present. I'm thankful every day for my friends and family! God is really a beautiful Daddy and he knows how to take care of his Kids!

My heart breaks for anyone of my loved ones that are struggling to live the life they are called to live. For me letting my circumstances define my outcome would've literally killed me. This book and life is teaching me that God meets you right where you're at whether it's fresh out of school, a job, single, married, divorced, widowed, what have you and reveals his plans for your life. Several times a silent prayer is answered and what I deemed impossible becomes nothing for God. I'm amazed at how quickly he seems to provide for us! All I can say is that surrender is the key. Surrender your plans, your, wants, your needs, your desires and meet His. He has amazing plans for you that you have no way to even begin to understand. I can only speak of experience. I'm married and about to be a mommy. Those that have known me back home would be amazed at my life. I know I am everyday floored by how good God is and can be. He wants to be that for you too!

An exerpt from the book I'd like to leave you with is "We need to worship and to adore as well as analyze and explain. Mary of Bethany learned much by just sitting at Jesus' feet, listening to Him and loving Him. Our generation's greatest lack is just here." By Searching Isobel Kuhn

I don't know about you but I know I want nothing more than to just sit at Jesus feet learning and loving Him! I couldn't think of a more beautiful use of my time! In this world we will have trouble but take heart we have overcome the world!! For me sitting in my circumstances wasn't an option. I pray that also for you and those you love! Everybody wants a direction but when one is given it's not followed for one or another reason. I pray you can learn to love and appreciate the voice of Jesus and the Holy Spirit prompt you to live the life they have for you! I pray you don't let fear hold you back from pursuing you identity! I pray you find a love that will never leave nor forsake you! I'm confidently able to say for the first time in my life that I am safe! I pray the same for you!

Love you
Tina Putney